Well, it's been almost a year, and I don't think I've gotten better. Booze isn't really a problem, but there are others. I elected to hide all my past responses, because I looked back and realized how much I'd unloaded. Helpful as it was, I've decided I don't want just anyone reading these posts, even if this cf is quiet. My wife wants a baby soon, and I do too. But aside from financial strains, which I know we can work out, I'm scared. First of all, I've practiced some unsafe sex and I haven't been tested. Then there is a number of emotional issues between us-- we fight too often and we don't want to bring kids into a mess like that. The cops have been called a few times because of these disputes. There is some hope for the body-image thing-- I talked to a nutritionist student who is part of a peer nutrition program here at the university. She's getting me the number for it; I tried calling before but didn't get through to the right people. She offered to maybe work with me, which is good, because this really is a subject I hate to talk about. Old wounds were re-opened by a letter from my maternal grandfather-- he sent me an old photo of six years ago when I was working out intensely and was on Ritalin. He thinks I can get down to 190 lbs. God, I don't know why I have to put up with it, but I do, since he is a source of financial support. My wife and I write letters to him and my grandmother, and they send us gift certificates for groceries. They've often come at times when we started scraping the cupboards for food and it was the only way we could get something decent to eat. Forgive me for hiding this.
- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss