The Road

The road is dark, and the road is long;
You can't even whistle a pleasant song.
The road is twisting and turning uphill;
You don't think you'll make it, you don't have the will.
You must follow the road and find another to take,
But you're lost in your darkness; the road signs are blank.

What's that in the distance, shining like a light?
It's a ray of hope, cutting through the night.
In the bright light stands a friend,
Standing where the road may bend.
They shine and smile and point the way,
Then follow behind till night turns to day.

But then you find your friend lagging behind,
Sulking and drooping and teary-eyed.
You step into the light and show them the way,
Give a pat on the back and smile away.
Such is the cycle friends will follow
On the road of life we all must follow.

20 responses total.

Strong images and life-like quality.

If you're intent is to make everything rhyme, you may want to check the last
two lines of the first verse though.

this item has been linked to poetry

hmm, this is cute..

nice to see that rhyming poetry hasn't become completely extinct.

I've been working on rhyming poetry myself latley, just haven't posted
anything

Well, I try to make most of my poems rhyme...But I usually end up having a
line or two that doesn't, but it's my style, that's how I like it...I prefer
rhyming poetry myself actually...

I used to try and make poems ryhme. I gave up,
except for one little section of "Tarantelle Duende"
that I'm proud of... ;}

I like that part; it reads almost like you just collapsed into rhyme.  (;

Is that posted on here? I'd like to read it if it is...

item 447.

thank you arianna ;}

<tips her hat to the lady fw with a half-grin>

<This item has been linked from oldpoerty #987>

I don't know, the half-rhymes and non-rhymes don't bother me as much as the
repeated "way/away" and "follow/follow" of the last stanza.

neato kean... very communicative... it made sense to me and it appealed to
my senses and emotions...i feel like  a bookreviewer ... but i really like
it...

Add me to the list of people who's really glad to see another rhymester...
I hate most free verse, unless it's blazingly spectacular and conscious of
its rhythm, which a lot of free-verse poets don't know how to make it do. I
liked this poem, but thought it could stand to watch out for the cliches a
bit, especially cliche rhymes (light/night) used in conventional ways.

BTW, a general caution: I'm generally considered a very tough critic. Unless
asked, if I don't have anything nice to say I won't say anything at all, but
I'm hardly ever going to give unqualified approval to anything. If I'm too
blunt, someone tell me for Chrissakes to shut up.

No worries, there; that's Joe's and my job, to tell you when you're out of
line.  (We'll do so if neccessary... just ask Brighn.  d= )

Ouch.  I don't do rhyme well, so you won't like much of my poetry.  Besides--
I look at the fine arts less scientifically.  I don't craft a work so often
as I express it.  The fact that I have expressed myself is often satisfaction
enough-- not necessarily that it is aesthetically appealing.
*sigh*  Here I go again, into the fire..

soft critics don't really help anyone, do they?

Most people have forgotten that criticism should be constructive or it becomes
purposeless; browbeating someone for what you would consider an inability to
write is about as constructive as trying to use a very dull knife to cut
cinderblock.

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss