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"The Rime of the Raving Creationist"
As most people's thoughts seem to be turning towards love, I thought it
would be a good time to introduce some satire. Unfortunately, instead
of setting down and writing the poetry from
my mind (ike I do with my prose I generally use models.)
This is inspirred by actual converstatations on Forward the Foundation
and Good News BBS's. The first is dedicated to science fiction and fantasy.
While the other is a "Christian" BBS, whose sysops have to be some of the most
narrow-minded bigoted people I have ever met. (Unfortunately, many religious
people are this way.)
It is a raving Creationist-
He does not choose to see,
How the Earth was founded-
How The Species came to be.
Rabid the man raved on,
devoid of reasoned thouhgt,
he rambled like a three year's child
in an empty parking lot.
Darwin was to him a devil,
the worst man ever alive-
But a man only, and on the level,
as to how the species survive.
In his hand was a Bible-
open to Genesis,
and as he wrongly corrected me,
he was in Heavenly bliss."
\
"The Earth, devoid of form was it,"
I cannot disagree-
Here real science converges
and the disciplined agree.
However the foll continues,
He argues haughtily,
tat Holy scripture must be righg,
and if i read it I will see.
The Bible's first chapter
many times have I read.
One usually gets no farther,
or they read on in dread.
"A record of stone supports me,"
or so the madaman said.
"In stone it is all recorded-
In the fossil bed."
Here I merely snickered,
He had made a huge mistake.
The Lunatic posed like Moses,
failing to turn stick to snake.
"Go on, please continue,"
I said disngenously.
"Your mistake I will tell you
when the tale you relate to me."
"Arranged carefully layers
the stone history shows the truth. {Indeed it doe, but not the way}
Land bound creatures at the bottom. {Creationists want it to. }
"No, no," I cried, "They are all mixed up
land and sky bound thing a like.
The record shows the order,
but not the way it should for the flood
to have caused extinctions." (Sorry about this.)
The Stone History however,
is by time not type arranged,
And punctuated equllibrium
is what brought about the change.
"You rave, you raver!"
I shall get you help.
Stand there for a second-
Try not to eat my kelp."
The Creationist could not move-
Some force held him still.
A voice came down from the Heavens,
"Let this man have his will."
"Rave is not what I do, but you.
Nor am I an endless bag of wind,
What I have said is true."
"For you rave on for hours,
but have little to say.
You ramble on about Random
Chance-
Evolution works not that way."
"Another thing you must realize-
Nature's Recombinant DNA
and a Natural Selction Process
shows us Nature's Way."
"Natural Selction?
Had Darwin gone mad?
"On the contrary, said I,
"It's the best idea he had."
"If an animal's genes pass on,
It is selected for
With the favorable adaptations
That have gone on before."
Being selectd against is not a lucky fate
The Creaturres does qucikly die-
Eaten or stricken by disease,
before a mate attracts is eye."
"This is the process that ensures
faulty genes don't come along through time,
although there are a few exceptions-
Huntingotn's Chorea in Humanoids."
The Creationist stood still-
The Evolutionist does not speak,
he lets the creationist have his will."
(oops, strike end quotes.)
Clearly logic gets not a thought
In matters of religion
He thinks the devil my sould has bought
and acts like a Homing pigeon.
"You my man, are a sinner,
Reight here it in Genesis,
which you have not read-
God the Earth create-
six days is all it says.
Once again I snickered-
We had argued this before.
He still had not answered the important question,
and persisted in follore.
"Oh, were, Oh were," I cried, in a mocking tone,
"Does it say in the book,
the length of the Creation days-
how long it really took?"
"It says six days, " he responded.
"That is enough for me."
"There I close my eyes,
further I need not to see."
"The answer is nowhere,
does it the length of the days sate,
and if you weren't so narrow minde
there would be no need for this debate.
"Not even other planets
have the same length of day
and this is truly poinltess
you listen not to what I say."
"That's not ture, not true,"
his words fell on deaf ears
The Creationist had little to add.
I had already killed that bear."
There's more here, but it concerns itself to the Creationist being
reloated to Mars... Anyway, I apologize for any spelling errors. (By
the way: This was writtten by the Sysop of Forward the Foundation.)
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- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss