Grex Writing Conference

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Grex Writing Item 128: Lopsided Triangles
Entered by odye on Fri Apr 7 17:32:54 UTC 1995:

        It's late at night, finals week. I shut my book,

threw it down on the desk, leaned back, rubbed my eyes. It

was late, I was tired, but I couldn't sleep just yet, I

needed to unwind. Can't study, so I headed down the hall,

to the study lounge. The lights were on, I walked to the

same window. I know she's there, in his room, just like

all the other nights I'd spent thinking of them, intimate,

close in ways I could only imagine, that I didn't want to

imagine. I stare out into the night again, a light skin of

snow on the ground, the two black trees stripped naked in

the emptiness. They casted shadows on the snow, another

clear, crisp night. I can see my reflection in the glass,

surrounded by the promise of the coming winter.


Excerpt from a short story I scribbled out many moons ago....
Comments, questions, spare change accepted...

5 responses total.

#1 of 5 by morgayn on Fri Apr 7 18:07:39 1995:

I like it, odye. It represents many emotions, jealousy, exclusion, a very
good understanding and usage of the english language....
  :)

#2 of 5 by kami on Mon Apr 17 03:15:00 1995:

I really hate the way you switch tenses- I don't know where you're going
with that, or if it's one person and time or an alternation, or what. I
do like the scene you're setting, I'd like to see more, but again, I'm not
entirely sure where it's going: is this "she" inthe next room, the same room,
another building, or not human at all?

#3 of 5 by odye on Mon Apr 17 16:14:43 1995:

Actually, when I typed in in, I had noticed that
my tenses were mixed up, but decided to let it stay as is
from when I wrote it, but I do plan on fixing the
tenses. Thanks for pointing it out, I agree completely.

The "she" is in a nearby room... It is an excerpt from a short
stroy, so may not stand well by itself..... I just chose
this portion for the imagery....

#4 of 5 by kami on Tue Apr 18 18:37:29 1995:

how about passing on some more of the story?
I thought she might be, like I said, either in a nearby room or possibly in
a building close enough that one can see in through the window.

#5 of 5 by odye on Wed Apr 19 04:03:12 1995:

Hmmm.... I might, let me think on that one. Sort of personal, so I
probably won't.....

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