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Wandering through the dark shadows Sadness caught me by surprise The shades closed down over my eyes And I began to weep. Your face I saw before me Oh, how I wished you were there. Clasp your hand in mine Take me away from here. Return me to the light On your wings, let me fly. Squeeze me until I cry Love me as I love you Please, I beg of you. My footsteps echoed softly In my heart I bled I yearned for your sweet fingers Take me away. August 15, 1994 Comment, opinions...
11 responses total.
Why would sadness catch you by surprise in dark shadows?? Seems like the place one would expect sadness to linger. Very intense language, but with no solid imagery, I have ahard time filling in the rest. Hmmm.... maybe I shouldnt try to put a story into it, and just enjoy how the words all seem to softly slide together. I like the sense of delicate I get from reading it.
Saddness would catch one by suprise in the dark shadows if one was in the dark shadows. Don't look for meaning, let the meaning find you. Morgayn, I know at least one person who would happily take you out of your dark shadows.
Eeek. I see that my response to your post, Arf! was not posted...*frown* <pout> Let me see if I can regain it... Alright, I don't tend to look for sadness in shadows...I like shadows, especially when I want to be by myself. I go to the shadows to be by myslef, and when sadness finds me there, I am caught by surprise because I wasn't expecting it, you see? No, Arf! Put a story to it, that's why it's there... The imagery from this particular piece doesn't happen to work with what you were thinking is all. Doesn't mean you're wrong... Thank you, space dog. I would like to be taken from these dark shadows... But, for right now...I think I need them. Believe it or not, they comfort me, they are part of me...
I believe you
Funny how darkness and light converge and make up people? In different amounts and how one reacts to the differences....
Lyrical. Of course... Doesn't seem to need a "story"- it's about a feeling, clearly with a specific referent, but I don't need to know who or what to share the feeling. I could see that the framework of the poem was in the past, and the stuff in the present tense was a quote of sorts, but it was still just a bit jarring. But felt like movement, over all.
Jarring? How so? Actually, the whole poem is simply about someone walking away and how the subject doesn't want that person to leave...
well, that's the point- it's about HOW the subject doesn't want that person to leave: the feelings and their expression, unique to the individual but a common experience. Jarring in that I had to devote some of my attention to figuring out why the tense changed and adding mental quotation marks to make it work, so it shook me out of just being carried along by the poem.
For some silly reason, I was thinking this was in reference to a different poem... Well, the tense doesn't truly change...If you look at it, you see it is relaying an experience...The person is walking and finds themself thinking and remembering and wishing and then they harbored that feeling of need and want as they walked away. I can't change the tense, changing the tense would change the tone of the poem, however I can see where some quotes could be useful in both the second and third stanzas.
It might be that adding quotation marks would be enough to solve the problem.
When I get a chance to, I will go back and check into adding quotation marks. :)
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