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My eldest child will turn 13 this autumn, and the signs all say that he is ready for his coming of age ceremony. Problem: I'm a single (female) parent. I can address the child->adult issues pretty well, but where it comes to boy->man issues I can only imagine... A friend of the family has volunteered to help me with this, but he's pretty new to the whole spirituality thing and doesn't have any more clue than I do, though for different reasons. ...so, what I wanted to ask the men here in this conference: Imagine that you (or your son) are/is about to come of age. What symbols or rituals would you consider meaningful and appropriate? We plan at his ceremony to have two parts...Friday and Saturday are the "challenge" or more private part of the ceremony. Then Sunday we will invite all of his friends and the extended family to the public acknowledgement part. Suggestions for either part are welcome. This ceremony will take palce in some public but secluded cabins in a clearing in the woods. We will rent both cabins for 2 nights. Both cabins sleep 20. We'll rent both mainly for the privacy.
58 responses total.
Dear mta, I just sent you an e-mail about the cheat sheet and here is a new and interesting topic which inspires me to respond. When I was still a Hindu monk, myself and another monk went on a ten month spiritual pilgrimage across the the USA. We went with backpacks and sleeping bags, and we visited monasteries' and spiritual communities of different religions. Most of the time we slept ' wherever we were when night fell. and we begged our meals and hitchhiked and jumped freight trains all across the country. One of the most amazing things that we realized as we went along was that the pilgrimage had become a rite of passage. Though we were both in our mid- twenties, and had been monks (initiated, ordained...) we still had not had a ritual experience that defined our being/becoming men. Now, when I speak of ritual, or when anyone speaks of ritual, it doesn't merely reflect an outward set of prescribed actions and symbols...it means that, but more] more, it means that one's psyche is open to the mythopoetic way of thinking/ feeling. People live by laws, facts, events...and the soul lives through poetry and feeling. That is why some rituals seem empty...when the poetry of the sym- bols have been rendered inaccessible. Many new rituals emerge from the very syobols And actions of ordinary life when only a few things are added...for men. one of those things is the atmosphere of non-competitiveness between the older males and the younger one. When we went to some of the most amazing monasteries, these wonderful men enthusiastically encouraged us in what we were doing. That "blessing" is something entirely beyond the scope of our ordinary experiences from age one and on, because from birth we are in a subtle competition with our father, and then we get the male authorities at school and in religion. But when a stranger, and older man, takes time to bless us, we move into that interior space that says, "Hey. This is something special. This is not an ordinary thing." The bestowal of gifts COMES from the tradition of blessing...for in the blessing, we are given s- sing we are given spiritual gifts, which the physical gifts symbolize. So whatever we are to be ordained to receive spiritually, often a symbol of that is given externally...and what we hold as talents, are often the very channel for receiving praise. It is onky competition which turns our talents
mta from jesse: Continued: ...into avenues of conquest. Try for a full moon.
I have never gone through any formal coming-of-age ceremony or rite
myself, so I'm not technically qualified to advise you. Like your friend,
I'm very new to the "spirituality thing" Also, my particular brand is a much
more individualistic sort then the average. There is a value in solitude,
especially for a teenage boy who spends much of his life intricately linked
into social fabrics. I remember when I was that age, I often felt a little
overwhelmed by all the social forces brought to bear on me, and I went and
found some places to hide. They weren't all physical places, that was when
I discovered Tolkien. I still haven't lost my love for the master.
I guess what I'm saying is that there's a value in chosen solitude that
you might take into consideration. Hope this helps.
Chris
Chris--(and everyone) having been through a formal coming of age ceremony may even handicap you in giving me the sorts of things I'm asking for. I've never been through a formal coming of age ceremony, either--but I would have little trouble helping to design one for a young girl...because I am a woman and I know what it is to be a woman and how that differes from being a girl. Actually Chris, your talk about solitude was *exactly* the sort of input I was looking for..
Well then, with that encouragement, I'll go on a little farther into
the realms of the obvious. It seems to me that the ceremony needs to be
tailored to the boy. For some, an intensively physical experience might be
appropriate, for other a contemplative one, and again for others, being set
some task of social value and then being told, go figure out how to do
this. I don't know your son, so I'm not in a position to advise which of
these (if any) make sense, but the idea here might give you some places to
start.
CB
I'd be careful not to do anything that implies some sort of a
dividing line, with childhood on one side and adulthood on the
other. If your son doesn't know yet he'll find out soon enough
that there's no such line. It's a fiction invented by grownups
who've forgotten what it's like to be thirteen. Kids know
perfectly well that adults have this knack for turning the simplest
most natural things into Big Deals.
Experiences we think of as "adult" will come to your son when they
will. No coming of age ceremony can validate or hasten the
process, nor should it. And "leaving childish things behind" is
not anything I'd encourage a teenager to do. The best part of any
adult is the part that hasn't changed since childhood. If you
banish it, or let it wither away, you might as well be dead.
William Wordsworth said so:
My heart leaps up when I behold
A Rainbow in the sky;
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a Man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is Father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
No "coming of age" dividing line, just the unremarkable
*continuity* of days bound each to each by that childish thing --
call it "natural piety" -- that makes the hearts of a few lucky
grownups still leap up whenever they see a rainbow.
As to the "boy --> man" aspect of it, if you keep current with
things you must realize how politically incorrect you risk being by
saying to a boy, "This is what it means to be a Man." You'd have
to be so careful what you said after that, that you might end up
saying nothing at all, or else generic stuff that applies just as
well to "girl --> woman". Unless you *want* to do a Robert Bly or
Tim Allen number on him, in which case who am I to judge? ;-)
Finally, are you sure your son really wants something like this?
I hate to bring this up, but kids generally find this sort of thing
just excruciating. But I want to think that your plans indicate
either that your son is as enthusiastic about your spiritual ideas
as you are, or else that you're able to put something together that
will be fun for him. In any case, best wishes from a fellow
parent.
Actually, md, this planning comes after 3 years of him pestering for just such a rite. Your comments on no solid line of demarcation are well made points, and I think some acknowledgement of the things you bring up will have to be a fundamental part of the message on his day. On the other hand, there does come a time when it's proper to turn your sights to what you wish to do with your time on earth--who you wish to be. These trhings are not for children--but as adulthood looms, it's important to remind ourselves that growth becomes more of an effort in adulthood than it was in childhood--but its equally necessary. PC be damned! I've raised my kids to believe that gender is irrelevant until puberty--am I now to tell them that it doesn't mean anything after, either?? ;) There are certain things that being female/male do mean--whether they are PC or not. Unfortunatly my female experience has only made obvious what being a man means missing out on. That's not the legacy I want to give my sons. OK, they'll never experience the magick of menarche, nor of pregnancy or birth, or nursing their child. So, what is it to be a man. It's (I hope) not Monday night football, or strip clubs with the guys-- my Dad's definition might come close to that.
mta...I've seen your responses to the other entries. does it not behove you rto respond to me to respond to me? >
Misti, I've been giving this a lot of thought since you first entered this item, and ya know what? I still can't think of anything especially masculine to be celebrated with a ritual. Kind of pathetic, really. The best I can come up with is competitiveness, overcoming obstacles and the like - how athletically inclined is your son? Or maybe a Native American-style vision quest would be good. A friend of mine went on one last weekend, and she really enjoyed it.
Jesse, I'm sorry you feel that I've neglected your response. Actually I've read it several times. I will definitely arrange for the rite to happen at the full moon. As to the rest...well I simply haven't come up with a concrete way of understanding how to translate your experience for a 13 year old. We will give him meaningful gifts, of course--but I have the sense that you meant something *far* more than that and I don't understand what. As I said in private mail, I'd appreciate it if you cared to make your point in simpler, more concrete terms...but it seems presumptious to ask that. Rob, I just can't believe there aren't positive things about manhood. I know and love many men! Our society may have turned those things to striving at the expence of full personhood...but the bascis are there. They have to be. TJ is very strong, energetic, and in some ways he is competative. He doesn't show much interest in sports, though--so he isn't an athlete in the usual sense. I am getting some ideas from this discussion of some elemnts that should be included. Thanks to all!
I understand your feelings about the masculine Rob, I have been searching for years to underd the masculine. In my life, (of only 24 years), I can think of few men that have inspired me, but many women! Praise the Godess for those women, they have taught me more about being a man than men! But as women (and men) are revitalizing the Godess archetypes, men, we, must do the same. It's not aeasy thing I agree, but unless we do it, it's not going to happen. Most of the Men's circles that I have attended are little more than testosterone ranting sessions, I think those of us that are concerned must stand up, and begin to reclaim the aspect of Man that we can be proud of, and pass that on in rites of passage! It's not an easy task, but then niether is going through life with , as the genetic symbol of abuse! \ -Sorry about the soapboxing, but it pisses me off beyond words, to think of what my Ansestoral "fathers" have done to the image of man. I understand why men are hated, but I hate being hated simply because I am a man! IO PAN, Praise Kerunos, ail Chango, CABIO SILE!!! -Phaedrus
Or as Sylvester Stallone might invoke, "Yo, Pan!" Phaedrus, I agree 100% on women providing more inspiration than men in my life. Glancing over at my CD collection from here, I see WAAAAAY more albums by women (Kate Bush, Laurie Anderson, Tori Amos, Suzanne Vega, Enya) than men, and I get a lot of my ideas and such from music. If there's any "masculine" concept I consider important to myself, it's competition, be it gaming, fencing with my shinai, whatever. It's the Klingon in me, I suppose.
It sounds like you've a healthy view of competition, most men see it as a way to have power over another, not a way for both people to grow. I understand the "hunter" aspect, it's strong in me too. Have you ever listened to Spirit of the west, or the Crash test dummies, a couple of good bands with cool men! Phaedrus
There are lots of more or less healthy things that are
traditionally considered to be "masculine". Fathers playing catch
or shooting baskets with their sons, fathers teaching their sons to
fish, fathers getting their sons started in mechanics and in
building and repairing things (insert Tim Allen growl here).
I say these things are healthy, and they are. What isn't healthy
is the tradition that considers them to be "masculine". Most
people, even here in the conservative suburbs, are abandoning that
tradition. Daughters are included now in all of the above, or at
least not excluded if they want to join in.
If you allow any degree of artificiality in your son's coming of
age ceremony, you could include references to some of these
traditionally masculine things. Religious rituals like to do that.
Christian priests and ministers from many denominations still dress
like upper-class Romans from 200 AD. It's valuable because it
gives a sense of continuity and stability, even if it doesn't
really mean anything anymore. ("Romanitas" hasn't been a prized
quality for at least a millenium.)
I can see the day when, for example, building and repairing things
are things which both men and women in equal numbers do all the
time in real life, but which are included only in boys' coming of
age ceremonies, in aknowledgment of the generations of men who took
these responsibilities on themselves in the past.
Not to sound too horribly PC, but maybe a formal abandoning of some
of the not-so-healthy "masculine" things from the past would also
be in order.
There's no reason that this coming of age has to be couched in masculine terms. Instead of becoming a "man," this could be a becoming an adult kind of thing. Not so much the giving up the things of childhood, but the beginning of looking at things in an adult way and becoming responsible for oneself.
Dan, no I don't suppose it *has* to be couched in terms of the masculine, but my son has to some extent grown up without a father. I want to find ways to help him to value that which is masculine in him. I've met so many men who say they wish they had been born female--not because they are transexuals or anything, but because everything they value is manifest in what we as a society call female. I think the women's movement has been a very good thing in making "female" qualities more respected...but it does no more good for a young boy to think that being female is superior than it did his mother to think that all that is masculine is superior. With a strong male presense in his home, he might not have had questions about the value of masculinity...(I don't know that he does now, for that matter) but I want to feed his esteem for positive male qualities. I'm convinced that only by loving what we are can we truly value "other". Anyway, competition, strength, self sufficiency...to some extent they are human qualities, but they are primarily conceived of as male here and now.
From Jesse: I am really glad to see all the activity on this conference. I am not sure how to add to it, because 1 not sure how to add to it because 1) my thoughts on this subject are related to intensely personal experiences and are hard for most people to really appe appreciate; 2) I don't have the usual bias against male institutions, though I am critical am critical, in a sense, I feel that my manhood is no longer threatened by the patriarchy. One direct answer to the original question is that your ritual will be con- ditioned directly by your personal conception of what is spiritual. If your spiritual conception is not going to inform your ritual expression, then what you are going to get is a ritual of social, and not spiritual form. I am positive that a psychological event like this rite of passage, both the spiritual and the social aspects are essential. Therefore, in order to "come into" one's spiritual and social responsibilities is and has been the principal content of such rituals, and this simply means that 1) you are suddenly awakened to the fact that you participate in the Cosmic Power (God); 2) that you are suddenly awakened to the fact that you participate singularly (uniquely) in the organism of humanity. I am sure that whatever ritual evolves out of your sincere desire to serve yy your son will be an intimate flowering of your love for each other.
Jesse, you may be the very person I want to talk to about how you see masculinity. After all, you are comfortable in it. Please don't feel that your contributions aren't welcome...as we get to know you better your "intensely personal" experiences and insights will have a context for us and we'll be quicker on the uptake. You're right about keeping the spiritual content personal...and about the fact that, in the end, the rite will be a product of our families love for one another.
Dear mta, for me, any meaningful (practical) definition of manhood has to relate to our cultural associations which have preceeded our birth. Why? because to uncover the uniqueness of our own personal "expression" of the male sprit means in a large part to "deal with" the cultural associations which are almost subconscious within our selves. I noticed that much of the conference so far has been a discussion of stereotypes... It has been a picking and choosing. A accepting/rejecting process, and this dialogue represents accurately the contemporary search. But what about the findings? (I am being didactic. I don't mean to offend any others here.) What are the "positive" findings? Where are the "answers? When I reconcile myself to the subconscious imperatives of our American cultural associations with manhood as a focus, I find that there is a lot of adventure in our tradition. Is that a debatable quality? No. The archetypes of manhood in America also stand for idealism, objectivity and fairness, and risking everything for truth. I believe that these archetypes also inform the subconscious of women, too. In our cultural context of course, we refer to the New World, the Frontier, (in effect, the same mythos that guided the Hebrews: A Promised Land; and later, the Christians: The Kingdom of God. Essentially, we are guided by an ancient evolution of symbols and ideas...even though we express them and think about them quite differently than our ancestors did. For me, the most significant process of my rite of passage (at 25), was to "draw down the myth", so to speak. ( I might add that the period of rejecting assumptions of masculinity took me from 15 to 25.) So it took a long soul-search to draw the myth down. Down. Into the flesh, where, finally I began to live the myths. I Like md was saying previously, when the man has the adventure of the child, he experiences the ultimate continuity. To the child, when he experiences the commitment of the adult, he feels like the man. But how to give that experience to a 13 year old? Do we just give him the keys to a car or a bank account and say, "here, son. Use this power?" What about setting him up for a let-down, due to his lack of experience! Do we say, "Here is a tent. Go to the mountain?" Well, probably he'll get pretty bored when it datr starts raining for two days. Do we ultimately disclose to him, "hey kid, there is NO ceremony which will transform you instantly, no pill to take...and besides, it's all a question of paradoxes and dualities and you may need 10 years to figure it out?" He's going to wonder where the magic is in that. I bellieve that one of the most concrete things you can do for him is to help him evaluate his own perception of his "magic"; and to bring him into contact with older men who can help him to become wise. He may need, as I did, to spend time with men whom I could love and admire...spiritual fathers. A note abour wisdom. It is the last archetype I can mention now. It is not directly an American cultural archetype. It is European, Eastern andMid-Eastern as well as indiginous to many other races and cultures. But you never hear of wisdom mentioned in American men past Ben Franklin or Jefferson. Somewhere we lost the Wise Old Man. So you will have to find him in another tradition, if your going to bring your son toward him. I believe, at this point, there are several spiritual options. You will find wisdom where east meets west. Find an old master for him in whatever field he is open to: old sportsmen are there in every town. Old painters are not hard to find. Old journalists are wonderful. The main criteria for you to judge them is a simple question: do you admire them? If so, you have your possible mentor for your son. If he is truly admirable as a man, don't you think yourr son will "feel" it? I think he will. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts and ideas with you. Jesse.
Jesse, the idea of finding a mentor to bring my son toward is a beautiful one. I love the idea of giving him to the Wise Old Man...or giving the WOM to him. (as if it matters who is given and who recieves) I think TJ is mostt likely to find his mentor in fiction, where true goodness and wisdom can be complete and unmarred. He's quite an idealist, and given to execting people to *earn* his respect. Few can. (One of his youthful conceits is that he is one to judge his elders.) I think, perhaps, i am getting a clearer idea of what you were geting at in your first post. As to finding him a mentor--well, as a single mom I've spent alot of his life looking for male role models to expose him to--so maybe the time has come to officially hand him the power to choose his own role models. Very inspirational, this idea of seeking the adventure in maleness...hmmm.
dear mta: Thank you for your kind and encouraging response. Last night I wa wanted to say so much...I relish these topics so much. One thing that I didn't mention last night is a relization I had about my own mentor search. You see, I quit school at 14. I was free from that system, and so I had all the time in the world to meet my mentors. My mother is a very ad- venturous woman, and she had me auditing college classes instead of just just letting me drop out of all educational spheres completely. In this "adult" environment I met my first teacher, a hippy artist who was wanderiing through the campus. Now granted, he was NOT a developed man. He was incredibly immature, and prone to all kinds of vices...but he taught me how to illustrate comic books, and set me on an alternative path in the arts. talk shadow@grex.cyberspace.org who what when where?
Dear mta...sorry for the interruption, I got this talk message that I was trying to figure out. Anyways. The point of what I was relating was that the first mentor was not wise. but in the beginning, I thought he was wise ssimply because he was alternative. I think that regarding your feeling of turning over the power to TJ to choose his mentors, he will choose first according to his capacity to percieve their "wisdom". As it turned out, I had literally scores of mentors who guided me over the next ten years...and gradually, as they led me into new experiences, and I applied all I knew, I met more and more quality mentors.
Jesse, I think I know what you're saying... I don't consider handing TJ the power to choose his own mentors to be any excuse to stop putting good men in his path when I can. It's more like acknowledging that they can't teach him until chooses to learn from them.
If the student thinks the teacher is great, the teacher will be great!! Not allways true, but in good circumstances it holds true. -Phaedrus
Hi. I agree with you about continuing to put good men in his reach. I was merely concerned to clarify the experience that I had of a long process of discipleship which, though starting out with mediocre teachers, nevertheless proceeded to greater and greater ones. I know that this was a difficult and long wait for my own mother; who had to see many of my worst chioces come first. And, actually, it was only the last few that she loved with me.
Man is strong, safe, and kind. His love energizes, inspires, and nurtures. Man's love for his children and his god[s] is sublime and infinite. So often has Man's bared and brave breast stood off the aggressor. Man's tears are shed less than his blood lest those that seek his strength see and become afraid. This Man makes no apology and I offer no protest.
Chris, you have given an ideal list of what being a man should mean. (except for the blood more than tears maybe!) To me this seems rather unreal, if you emulate this desciption, God and Godess bless, but realize to many peoples experience you are a minority. Unless you were born into a "Leave it to Beaver" world, you must see that the image of man has been twisted for many years now. And we, all men, must work to change this perception, by trying to shed more tears and less blood!! This is not to say, we must sit down and cry all the time, but don't be afraid of it. I dare say that more people are afraid of one who would rather shed blood than a tear!!?? The cutting comments about man, are not pointed at the man that you speak of, but the man that many of us have grown to know, or not to know. So take no offense at the comments, unless you are one of these, creatures, who dare take the name, Man, and do so little to do it, and us, honor. -phaedrus working to bring honor to men AND women.
This response has been erased.
And your response is writ in /bbs/censored, jones2. Why do you jab at others and then attempt to hide it? Please, either stand up for what you believe in and leave it for all to see, or keep it to yourself.
Huh...?? What's up? Did I miss something Rob? I hate being the only one to miss a joke. -phaedrus
Found it! Thanks for the mao Rob.
map
Chris,...uh...I'd like to understand what your doing, but I don't. Please
explain. What have I said that you think is "drivel"??
Or have you just dropped to name calling. That's ok, you are giving me
and all that see your post a wonderful example of what being a "man"
has become. Fortunatly some of us are working to find out what it really
means to be a man.
Peace and blessings,
-phaedrus
Frankly boys, your politically correct groupthink is riddled with the cliches of the future. As I read, I am occasionally piqued. I then respond honestly if discourteously. This is my shame. It follows then that I immediately regret my injurious comments and attempt to retract them. In a sense it pleases me that you can retreive them as it was only an attempt to spare your tender feelings that compelled my censorship. Enjoy your play Fey. You may rest assured that one day you will discover the true nature of man.[If not in this go round then in some other]. How is it that I should come out to here and be still floating? ...and never hit bottom but keep falling through just relaxed and paying ATTENTION. GODDESS BLESS and keep you. WHAT DOES WOMAN WANT? where are you now? Don't just answer....LOOK! wq
Incidently Rob, You have my permission to restore whatever I have scribbled I don't know how. I truly was attempting to leave your gang its own tur free from territorial fears when I scribbled and also when I expurgurated.
Thanks for reponding Chris. I can see that you thought that you were
damaging the "group". I don't think you were. I'm just trying to get more
of an understanding of what you're saying. I'll take the stop look and
listen to heart. And I hope you're right about me finding the true
nature of man, be it now or another life.
As for advice to you, be confident of what you say, or don't say it.
Discussions at this depth can become intense, and are normally very
emotional. These discussions are also where real learning taked place.
takes
The reason what you said about man pissed me off is that too many men are
denying the problems that men have caused and blindly trod forward
making the same mistakes. And if we don't know our past...
I hope that you don't turn tail and run, (snicker snicker), but stay and
continue to challange me, and I'm sure others.
"The wisest sage is the one who admits he is a fool..."
I'm all ears...ok not quite but sorta
-phaedrus
Chris, don't feel you have to spare me from foreign thoughts. Yesterday I read an open letter from a man trying to convince me I was really a Satanist and that magic didn't work anyway. Compared to that, your responses have been downright pleasant. I'm not afraid of criticism, just disappointed by what looked like cowardice. (And no, there's no way for me to un-scribble something, not that I know of anyway.) On the other hand, if you really think we're all an incestuous bunch of politically correct (ptui!) morons, why stay at all? Turn and walk away. "To oppose something is to maintain it." (Darn it, I can't remember if it was Lao-Tze or Schuang-Tze who said that!) And if you're trying to rile me or phaedrus, don't bother. You're a long way away from me, through a narrow grey wire, and your hatred hurts nobody but yourself.
A fool who encounters wisdom learns as much as the soup learns from the spoon.----Darn, I can't remember who said that.
"Oh, I'm not a slave to f...WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE, NOW YOU'RE A SLAVE TO WHAT'S NOT FASION..." Rev. Ivan Stang -phaedrus
I realize that this is now out of date, but for future reference, all
responses that are expurgated are in fact saved in a file somewhere,
(there's info in the info conference on it.) It therefore aught to be
possible to find the particular response, then simply copy it into a file
and finally port it back to the conference.
Enjoy.
Now that the flamewars have died down a bit :-), is there anybody out there
that would like to continue this topic? Here's some of my thoughts...
In most tribal cultures (if not all) the transition from child to adult is
not as traumatic as it is in ours. We tend to send very confusing messages
to children as to their roles and responsibilities. Children growing up
in tribal societies are not expected to act "grown up" and are free to be
relatively innocent of adult style responsibility. They observe the
behavior of their elders and come to understand what a man and a woman are
by example, but they are protected from adult expectations by the fact that
they are not to start assuming these roles until their "coming out" ceremony.
They may play or practise thier future roles but this is carried out among
the children and they don't try to play these roles with adults before thier
time has come. During the period of transition (usually the length of the
vigal) they are taught (more like reminded, since they mostly already know)
what is expected of them as adults. Then IMMEDIATELY following the end of the
ceremony they are adults. Their roles and responsiblities instantly change
and their new status is reinforced and encouraged by the society. The
confusion is minimal and the result is a fairly well adjusted adult who can
fully function as such (athough experience is needed beyond this point).
By contrast, in our society we have lost the transitional ceremony. We
start sending signals to our children at quite a young age that they should
act more grown up, big boys don't cry, act like a man, etc. We have stretched
the transitional period out to many years. During this period the child is
torn between these two phases of life. If they try out some adult behaviors
around adults at too early an age they are slapped back by older children and
adults. We end up with people going through their lives in all sorts of
different states of maturity, leading to teenage angst, mid-life crisis' etc.
As I'm sure you all know, getting to the point that you are fully accepted as
an adult, by the people around you and yourself, is quite painful and confusing
So given all of that, and the fact that we can't just instantly change our soc
society, how do we come up with an effective remedy for our children to help
them through this transition? You could create an effective system within
your own family where adulthood and childhood are clearly defined and put
your child through the transitional ceremony. BUT, will the childs new
status be accepted and reinforced by it's peers and other adults?? It dosn't
seem likely.
Sorry this went on so long, just trying to get something started.
Fox
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- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss