Has anyone else ever faced the 'hell' of admitting to themselves that their
fundemental religious background has proved inadequate based upon life
experiences? Has anyone else had to avoid family members because of the
resulting headaches? Has anyone else had their 'beliefs' ripped right out of
them? I'm kinda experiencing this right now. Basically it feels like being nude
in a blizzard. Anyone want to tell me how I'm gonna get through?

31 responses total.

Find some friends and hang in there! It happened to me, and I was made
to ffel like the anti-christ. To those of us raised in the fire and brimstone
fundametalist traditions, it's a tough road for most. That's some pretty tough 
stuff to shake. Talking about it definitly helps, here would be a great place.
I found that the Church of the Subgenius really helped me make light of the
whole evangelical thing.
I think the thing that got me was having good friends.

Not here.  Most of my friends were the very ones who, suddenly,
seemed terribly misguided and were, at any rate, not willing to
accept me as I was anymore.
Then I found a new friend, and after twelve years, she's still here.
And now I have more friends.
And they have some friends.
And they have some friends.
And so on.  And son.
<brighn slaps himself silly>
Sorry, this is serious.  Gerund, I've been there.  I'm on the other side.
There is another side.  Trust me.  *hug*  Hang in there.

I did a LOT of crying in early high school.  I found it cathartic (no shit<g>)
and a necessary part of the process.  I suppose it helps that I hadn't 
previously had much in the way of serious friends.  It still bums me out 
that I can't really talk to my parents about stuff that's among the most
important parts of my life.  Fortunately my brothers are ok.  I've mostly
made my own "family" as I go along.  Community, real friends, etc. are more
important than I ever would have believed when I was a kid and a loner. 
My dear, you may notice that most of you friends, at least here on Grex,
have had experiences similar enough to yours and do have perceptions similar
enough to yours, to give you the corroboration and support you don't get
at "home".  Not that this is an easy time or anything, just that you've
already done the foundation work all unknowing.

Be well.  Peace.
Hugs, Kami

Hang on...and survive...it's what I do...and sometimes even that seems
like to much....

It's never too much Searcher, if it seems like it come out here and
we'll give you reasons why!
I agree Brighn, I had to make new friends that understood me too.
It's tough, but not impossible!
This is a great place to get virtual hugs, and meet people to get the
real ones too!

Searcher...honestly something I thought I would never get called...and I
survive it's all I can do...

The beautiful happened last night.
I was at the Melissa Etheridge concert at the Hill last night.
My father passed away at 9:40pm.
I think October 19 1994 was the most `spiritual' day of my life.
If any of you were at the concert you might understand the feeling...
Thanks for the support... I really love all of you for it.

Well, I'm glad you were at the concert, I certainly wish I
could have been there.  Melissa has a great stage presence,
I remember the interview when whe said, "I hate touring, having
to stay at hotels, traveling every day, never getting enough
sleep, the only time I can really relax on tour is when I'm
on stage performing."  That really says something.

Anyway, I'm sorry about your father, even if you're not.
(I'm not quite sure what you meant there, clarification please?)
But any experience is a good one, if you learn something from it.

Uh... excuse me, but even if I WAS NOT clear that was rather mean.
I meant that if I hadn't been at that concert I might very well be
going crazy now.  I meant that the concert was a way  of saying
goodbye... and I also mean that you won't have a clue, since you
were not there, you were not with who I was with, and you did not have
the experience I experienced, therfore you should maybe not
EVER suggest that someone who has lost someone doesn't care about
that loss.  Forgive me if I'm being a bit rude myself, but
my dad is dead.  It DOES hurt.

Hey Gerund- HUG!  Shoulder available, also ear. 
I wish you father peace and a speedy journey into this next phase of his
existence, whatever it may be.  And you as well.  Please feel free to
share comforting memories of your time with him as much as you feel free to
or a need to.

Yep, I guess I missed something.  Sorry, gerund.

Gerund, dear!  I too offer my sympathies for the loss of your father.
My dad died on my birthday when I was ten.  It is still a tough loss for
me.  You take what you need from people because you deserve it!  I hurt
for you....inadequate, but I do.
I would love to hear from you.

Arwen- ow!  Hell of a birthday present.  Must have done weird things to
the associations with  that date for you.  How do you handle it?

Rob- sorry, I was just venting sorta.... it's been a rough hellish week.
First day of visitation was yesterday.  It was rather nauseating.
Kami- thanks,  a lot.
Arwen- As soon as my brain is less occupied I PROMISE I will write you.
REAL mail too.  I still have the address.

I really hadn't intended for this item to turn into a 'death' item, but
I guess it's gonna, sorta... I can't see death right now as being very
seperate from religion.

one of the major purposes of religion is to help us deal with death.  Death
is a necessary part of life, but not an easy one to reconcile.  

Death completes the cycle...
As life generate order and creation it must be balanced by the
non-living force of entropic degradation...

As for your personal loss Gerund...I have experienced similar events
in my life...I have no words...only empahty

this is in response to the first comments/question.
I had a time , a few years ago when there were envents happening that my 
spiritual training in no way prepared me for.  In my case, I did not want
to believe in reincarnation, but it seemed to have unshakable belief in me
and things only got more and more confusing after tha - I won,t go into this
it would take far to long and I am srill sorting out parts of these
experiences. My religious mythology, legend, call them what you will; came
unravilled quicker tthen I could keep track of it.  My spiritual beliefs were
collapsing under weight of controdicting experiences.  A very frightening
thing.  To get  through this, , I ended up clinging to the ethical  values that
had serrved me well wthat I held sacred , and I held on to faith that there was
a greated force for good, nurturing, again, call it what you will.  and I
prayed as never before for guidence.  Guidence to show me the best path for me.
 It took awhile, but I found a path that was comfortable for me and those
ethics I valued I felt adrift in a quiet empty ocean for a long time, but
guidence di present itself.  Although I lost touch with a dear friend who did
not respect that "God" is only one name for the greater good, and no one
religion has a monopoly on "the Truth". If you are going through a similiar
spiritual crisis, I would advise you hold tight to those basic belief and
qualities you value.  Do not compromise the  type of person you want to be(
kind, caring, strong, whatever).  Find those ethical qualities that you value
and use to define yourself with and don't comprimise them for any person.  Then
remember what your " Higher Power" has always felt like to you, if you can ,
set all religious  stories aside..  Just hold on to the memory of that one
comforting feeling that  has never abandonded you(maybe it didn't give you all
you wanted.. but it  always nurtured you in time of need), find that feeling of
the Divine that has never let you down or left you when you needed it most. 
Then ask it to show you what YOUR path is , what is in your own best interest,
and work with what is presented to you.  Given time this will show you a
religion, philosophy, or maybe some thing else that is YOUR path. I know this
worked for me, and I have yet to hear of this sort of soul searching failing. 
Trust in the Higher good and be true to yourself.

thank you.  a lot.

Wow! twolf, that makes a LOT of sense.  I'm so glad you joined us here.
Be very welcome.

        You are very welcome. I simply felt that there were enough similarities
between what i had gone through, and what you had gone through, gerund, that
I should let you know. I hope that this will help.

Yeah, it does.

hey twolf, what's your name mean?  I'm not a chem major.

        I may be wrong, but "twolf" in the context of "thylacine" is refferring
to the now-believed-to-be-extinct-but-still-occasionally-sighted Tazmanian
Tiger, also called the Tazmanian Wolf. It used to be quite the adept
(marsupial) predator.

right- it's the "thylacine" that I was presuming to be a chem term. It's
a time period?

From Webster's 7th New Collegiate:  "thylacine \thi-l^-sin\ n [NL Thylacinus,
genus of marsupials, fr. Gk thylakos sack, pouch]: TASMANIAN WOLF"

oh, I see.  Now I get it.  You sly devil you ;)'

<brighn is making noises like the Tasmanian Devil in the cartoon,
which don't translate well on the computer, and telling Kami to
remind him to do his Taz impression next time he sees her.>

scary thought, dear :)

gee... drift
i really had hoped this could be a useful item to someone.

Yes, it is the Tasmanian Wolf; I'm extremely facinated by it. 
        gerund: I am very glad that was helpful. Would you be interested in
exchanging e-mail with me? I've run into very few people who have gone
through a spiritual crisis. Conversing might be good for both of us; if you
agree, please e-mail me at twolf (here on grex). If not, for whatever 
reason, no hard feelings. That's all for now.

Please mail me.

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