Grex Scruples Conference

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Grex Scruples Item 29: The e-mail
Entered by carson on Wed Jul 6 03:33:28 UTC 1994:

(You're a young, teenaged female who has just been introduced to the
internet. One of the first people to e-mail you is a male, probably in his
forties, who seems very attracted to you.)

(Do you respond to the mail?)

13 responses total.

#1 of 13 by kimba on Wed Jul 6 04:01:08 1994:

Yes, respond and explain you are a teenager, but conversation (healthy that is)
is ok.

#2 of 13 by mta on Wed Jul 6 04:34:02 1994:

Yes, of course.  For one thing, I doubt I'd have figured out his age.
Then again maybe I should say that it depends on his apparent motives.
Even as today (at well past teenage) I'd respond if his attraction seemed
sincere and related to me specifically.  If he seemed to be in heat and any
female would do, I'd delete the message immediately.  No response.  Nothing.
Computer sex isn't my thing.

#3 of 13 by omni on Wed Jul 6 04:38:34 1994:

 no. it is not appropriate behavior for either party.
,.

#4 of 13 by swa on Wed Jul 6 06:40:33 1994:

No, no, no!!!!  I am a teenaged female, and have had incidents similar to this
happen several times, with people of varying ages.  I find it very offensive
to have suggestive comments made toward me by people who have never met me
before.  Some go about it in more subtle ways than others.  I've had this 
happen while writing or chatting someone (usually someone I was writing for 
the first time), and usually wind up ignoring it, then avoiding that person in
the future.  If they know nothing about me, there is no reason why they would
be sincerely attracted to me, and for a man of *any* age to hit on a teenage
girl simply because she is a teenage girl is extremely immature and offensive.
Sorry to rant and rave, but this sort of situation is unfortunately a reality,
and it *really* bothers me.

#5 of 13 by dang on Thu Jul 7 21:08:24 1994:

it would never come up, as i am a teenage guy, and never will be a teenage
girl, but i would write back explaining that i don't do cybersex, and to 
lay off.

#6 of 13 by vishnu on Tue Jul 12 07:42:17 1994:

Well, it depends, for me.  If the attraction seemed sincere and
he wasn't being offensive or making lude comments, etc., then
i would respond, conversationally and politely, and take the 
seeming relationship slowly.

#7 of 13 by y on Fri Aug 5 06:14:52 1994:

Hmmmmm how caN you be attracted over a text based system

#8 of 13 by flem on Sun Aug 7 07:29:55 1994:

Assuming I were a teenaged girl (note the subjunctive), I might flirt with 
the guy in such a way as to make it obvious that I thought it was a joke.  I
don't mean just making it obvious, but things like laughing at his comments and
telling him they were really funny.  That way, you let him know that you don't
want a relationship with him, but you don't alienate someone who might become
a potential friend.  Besides, if I accidentally got in too deep, I would just
get Syl to write me a rejection letter!  ;)

#9 of 13 by yagi on Sat Aug 13 17:03:28 1994:

        agreeing with #4..... if they're obviouslt hitting on me, I'd ignore
them and see if they left me alone... don't like being hit on by people I can't
see.... just makes me uncomfortable more than anything else. Unless I've known 
them (over grex, whatever) for a while.

#10 of 13 by carson on Mon Aug 15 04:47:23 1994:

(what's a while? how long did I know you before I started hitting on you?
how long did you know me? do I make a good barometer of that sort of thing?)

#11 of 13 by bonita on Sat Nov 19 04:28:18 1994:

If this man was very lewd about it, I would mail him back explaining that
I did not appreciate it.  If it was just simple flirting, then I would 
write back and have soem fun.

#12 of 13 by ewhisam on Wed Dec 27 23:48:03 1995:

Bring up my age in conversation (communication) with him

#13 of 13 by diznave on Sun Nov 9 07:04:21 1997:

I would quit computers and revolve my life around the local mall.

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