Grex Scruples Conference

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Grex Scruples Item 129: Blast From The Past
Entered by abchan on Sat Sep 16 03:06:57 UTC 1995:

An old friend of yours writes and says that he/she is coming for a 
visit.  You haven't seen this person in years, and you're very excited
about his/her arrival.  You make a lot of plans, keeping in mind the
things you used to do together.  But when the person arrives, it seems
that they have a whole different idea of how to spend his/her visit.
You decide to go along since he/she is the guest, but as the days go
by, you realize that this person has changed a lot and is not the same
person you remember.  You feel like you should still be friends because
you always have been, but you also feel like you're drifting apart and
that you're too different.  What do you do?

5 responses total.

#1 of 5 by randall on Sat Sep 16 05:15:46 1995:

It depends on what different means.  If there are still things in common
between these people, and just somethings the are different, than being
friends would be fine.  However, if you can find nothing about this friend
that you like anymore, than why would you want to maintain that friendship?
Of course, there are those who would say that the fact that you question
whether or not to stay friends means that you don't really want to anyway,
but I'm not sure I totally agree with that.
Oh yeah....
Number 1!  Yay!

#2 of 5 by chelsea on Sat Sep 16 11:31:40 1995:

I've always found it interesting to *listen* to an old friend
recollect about old times.  Sometimes, these memories of days past
match mine quite closely, but most of the time there are major 
differences in how past events and relationships look now, filtered
though years of personal change.

So, in answer to your question above, I think I'd grab the opportunity
to have a relaxed and uninterrupted conversation (rare stuff).  I'd
say, quite honestly, that we've drifted apart and there doesn't seem
to be much in common anymore, and I'd like to get to know him or 
her again.  And I'd start by asking questions about how he or she
remembers certain key events in our past relationship.  And go from 
there.

And if my old friend seemed uninterested in any of this I'd back off,
pronto.  Sometimes, things past are simply past, and that's okay too.

#3 of 5 by popcorn on Mon Sep 18 06:09:44 1995:

This response has been erased.

#4 of 5 by starwolf on Tue Sep 19 17:15:07 1995:

re #2: I like that idea  this item may have a special importance for me, as
I fear that he who once was my closest freind may now be a total stranger 
(and he was strange enough to begin with!)

#5 of 5 by ewhisam on Thu Dec 28 04:29:03 1995:

Time passes, people change I should have foreseen that and not have been so
hasty in my preparations

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