A number of years ago I was raped by my day-care worker.  At the time I was
5yrs. old.  I have a difficult time with this and so I make it into a joke.
As you may or may not know, that popular purple dinosaur was convicted of
molesting the thirteen yr. old on his show.  Because of this I chose his name.
The frightening thing for me is that I realize it is wrong to have sexual
advances on Children, but somehow my pyschology is warped into finding young
children sexually arousing.  I'm afraid of going into therapy because a
pyschologist might decide to lock me up or try to pin me for molestation of
a minor.  The fear of being accused of what was done to me frightens me, and
the thought that children are sexually attractive sickens me.  What I think
I need to know is if it is alright to find children attractive.  I don't know
how to handle this, and it has been getting worse as the years progress.  I
refuse to have children of my own or even come near to associating with
someone elses because of this fear.  Yes, 120 was a 'joke' that I DO need
feedback on.  As long as I'm at it, I'll admit that all the information I've
submitted to the Grex is false.  But this is a topic to be discussed, and I
DO need help with it.
   Rephrasal:is it okay to find children sexually attractive?

19 responses total.

  See Dick.  See Jane.  Hey! What's that dick doin to Jane?  
  See Barney?  See him connected to explosives?  Barney Rubble...

Barney: Seek therapy. If done totally profesionally you will have no worries.
All: We need to seek out mr rogers and either commit him or burn him at the
snake, I mean stake, to perify his immoral soul.

This response has been erased.

I agree with popcorn, thinking that children are sexually attractive is 
okay, as long as you don't act on it. But if you serriously do think that
you might act on your feelings, perhaps you should live/work in a place
that doesn't allow children, and has no contact with them, untill you feel
that you can go on with life without acting on these thoughts.

It's probably the rare man who doesn't find a nubile virgin erotic
to some degree.  And if fantasies could put men in jail most every
guy over 10 would be doing time, along with Jimmy Carter.

But it sounds as if you have some history that has you concerned
and maybe some urges which frighten you.  Professional help
sounds like a good idea.  

I think laws against sexual fantasies would send as many women as 
men to the slammer.  Basically, though, I'd have to say that it's a 
very rare man indeed who finds pre-pubertal girls erotic to any 
degree at all.  Even if by "nubile virgin" you mean "shapely post-
pubertal girl in her very early teens," I still think you're wrong, 
Mary.  Attach stiffometers (there's a fantasy for you) to a random 
sampling of adult men and then parade girls past them, starting at 
age 2: apart from a couple of certifiables, you won't get measurable 
reactions until the girls are well past puberty, and even then you 
won't even start reaching a consensus until you got to the 18-year-
olds and above.  Anyway, the author of #0 is talking about little 
kids, not post-pubertal anything.  That being the case, I think it's 
stupid and dangerous to delude him or her into thinking that 
everyone has such fantasies and that it's somehow okay to have them 
as long as you don't act them out.  

  I'm sorry Md, I'm forced to agree with chelsea and popcorn.  It is okay to
have fantasies as long as you don't act them out.  If you disagree, think
about this: how many times have you considered striking someone for some
action they made against you.  Because legally, that is assault, we can still
derive extreme pleasure from the THought of hitting them.  And in that way
no one is hurt, and you can possibly relieve stress.  By saying that one
fantasy is wrong, you have to say they are all wrong through the same logic.
   And for Barney:  Sublimation can really aid you in this.  Take for example
sexual roleplaying (with consenting adults).  Ask your partner to dress and
act like a child, because it may not be their actual physical appearance that
attracts you, but the appearance of innocence  or whathaveyou.  Regardless
of this, it could relieve a lot of this tension.  But whatever you do, realize
if its helping or making things worse and act accordingly.  If you ever do
think you might approach a child sexually, or find it impossible to be
attracted to adults, DO seek professional help.
   One more thing:masturbation (crude but true) is a wonderful tool.

First, I really don't know anything about what I'm talking about here,
it's been a very long time since I've studied any psychology.  But
I'll ramble on anyhow.

Dreams and fantasies are mostly elegant ways we deal with difficult
personal psychological issues.  I don't think there are dreams
we should feel guilty about.  I don't think there are fantasies
we should feel guilty about.  Unless (big unless here) these fantasies
or dreams make us feel uncomfortable about ourselves or tend to
get in the way of real life.  Those red flags deserve attention,
and would be reason to take a good hard look at what's behind
the dreams or fantasies, and maybe seek professional help.

Fantasies about illegal or immoral acts aren't necessarily a 
sign of a psyche in trouble any more than gaining pleasure from
thinking about buying a way too expensive car is a danger signal.
Stealing money to buy the car is a problem.  Being unproductive
at work because you spend too much time thinking about Saabs is
a problem.  Anything, to extreme, is a problem.

If this guy is uncomfortable with his feelings he should get some
help.  But feeling guilty about fantasies is a little like feeling
guilty about masturbating.  A waste of good angst.

This response has been erased.

Granted all of the above, I still have to insist that it's 
not a good idea to encourage this person to believe that 
fantasies of sex with young children are somehow okay.  Such 
fantasies are "no different from the occasional fantasy of 
striking someone who's wronged us"??  Brilliant, JC.  We'll 
have this person move in nextdoor to *you*, okay?  

yeah, its okay, if you're a kid....get some help, for your own sake...

My opinion: it may be ok to have certain thoughts, or fantasize, but if I were
to catch you acting out such things with someone who's *way* too young, you
would be dead before you could draw breath twice.

So we have a choice between someone who has sex with children or someone
who violently murders another who he feels has committed a heinous crime. 
Wow, hard one. 

Is it fair to judge someone and act against them violently because they
happen to violate YOUR belief system?  I'm not saying I think it's right,
but I don't believe that I have they right to harm or kill another person
because they do something I don't think is right.

Morality is just opinion, with a different spelling of course.  No one can
say that there's in anymore "right" than someone elses.

I assume you're as thorough a relativist about your own ideas
of right and wrong as you are about everyone else's.

Grrrrr.......Violating one's beleifs (sp?) is one thing, taking advantage of
someone who cannot defend him/herself or even understand the situation is
something else.
<shuts himself in a refrigerator to cool down>

re 15: Of course
re 16: My response to that is (qualified by the fact that this is only my 
opnion, just to be safe): the only reason you say it's wrong is because 
you and the majority of society say it's wrong.  I wouldn't do it, and I
personally find it just as appalling as you do.  But, I can't stand it when
people judge me as consumately wrong on the basis of their own personal
belief system, so I can't do that to someone else.  Society agrees with me
in that respect (i.e. you shouldn't persecute others because they hold a
different religious belief, or cultural belief), except when it challenges
*societies* ideals, then it's okay.

this is interesting there are laws and morales againt gay sex but its accepted
I'm not saying that its ok but twenty years ago the same thing was said about
gays and in some places still are so which is better to be strait and unhappy
or gay and happy I will agree sex between to wo\men is sex with two consenting
partners but the sex is there because thats who they(we) want to have sex with
so I would suggest finding other outlets so it doesn't turn into molesation
(p.s. Iwas molested as a child itdidn't bother me until people were telling
me it was something bad)
oh well just a thought

No, Get help

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