Grex Scruples Conference

View Responses

Grex Scruples Item 115: Culture Shock: The generous hostess
Entered by scg on Tue Jul 18 05:49:04 UTC 1995:

        You are in a foreign country where you don't speak the language,
and are staying in the home of a neighbor of a relative, along with a few
other American friends.  The woman whose house you are staying in doesn't
speak a word of English, and you and your friends don't speak more than a
few words of the language she speaks.  None the less, she is being a very
generous hostess, having provided beds for the night, and then in the morning
making it very clear that she wants you to take a bath in her very dirty
bathtub, and then come eat breakfast.  You do not take a bath there, knowing
that there are showers and clean clothes to change into at the hotel a mile
away where more friends and family are staying, and follow her into her dining
room for breakfast..
        She serves you some very good breaded chicken, which you eat.  As you
are eating it, she leaves the room, and then walks back through the room
carrying some raw chicken on her way to the kitchen.  As she walks through
the room she stops to talk to you and your friends for a few minutes, putting
the raw chicken down on the table as she talks.  You and your friends don't
understand a single word she says during the whole conversation.  She then
picks up the raw chicken off the table cloth and goes into the kitchen.  She
comes out a minute later with a loaf of bread.
        Looking forward to the bread, you are upset to notice that she puts
it down in the same spot on the table where the raw chicken had been a minute
before.  You no longer want to eat the bread at that point, but don't want
to be impolite either.  You and your friends discuss it in English, and decide
that it is still safe to eat the bread, as long as you cut off the part that
has been in contact with the table.  Then she starts slicing the bread, lying
the slices flat in the puddle left by the raw chicken.  You realize then that
it is not safe to eat the bread at all.
        As you are still trying to figure out how to politely refuse the bread,
she comes back into the room.  This time she's carrying a bottle of vodka,
and as you are trying to turn it down in a mixture of English and the few
words you know of the language she speaks she pours you all glasses of the
vodka.  You don't normally drink alcohol, and especially not vodka for
breakfast.  She is standing there seemingly urging you to drink the vodka,
and also seeming a bit concerned about why you aren't eating the bread she
gave you.
        You know that she has been putting a lot of effort into providing
things for you, and will be offended if you don't eat her food and drink her
vodka.  Again, you can't explain to her why you don't want to eat the bread
or drink the vodka, and you don't want to be impolite or ungrateful.  How do
you handle the situation?

14 responses total.

#1 of 14 by birdlady on Tue Jul 18 16:15:53 1995:

Hmmm...that's tough.  Maybe, somehow try to explain that you aren't allowed
to drink vodka, and that you're allergic to bread?  =)

#2 of 14 by scg on Sat Jul 22 05:34:04 1995:

Keep in mind that we couldn't talk to eachother.

#3 of 14 by madpoet on Sun Jul 23 08:38:49 1995:

Drink a toast to botulism and offer some bread to the hostess.

#4 of 14 by zook on Mon Jul 24 03:17:09 1995:

Soak the bread in the vodka for as long as you can, then slurp up some of
the mix.  With luck, you will have sterilized the bread and disgusted your
hostess so she won't offer another time.  Best of all, what can she say? 
You tell her it's an American thing to eat your bread that way.  If she
does persist on future occasions, then you start making signs like you
have an ulcer, so you shouldn't drink (and thus, not have the bread).

#5 of 14 by popcorn on Mon Jul 24 11:35:05 1995:

This response has been erased.

#6 of 14 by scg on Tue Jul 25 05:25:50 1995:

That's all very easy when it's possible to communicate...

I'll say what ended up happening in this case in a few days.

#7 of 14 by marian on Fri Jul 28 15:54:08 1995:

i'd run screaming from the room and stay with me friend sand family at the nice
hotel.

#8 of 14 by zook on Sat Jul 29 01:07:14 1995:

(I don't believe my suggestion requires any communication beyond a smile
and a frown)

#9 of 14 by popcorn on Mon Jul 31 14:23:01 1995:

This response has been erased.

#10 of 14 by aruba on Wed Aug 2 05:23:29 1995:

I like Bret's solution.  :)  I've read that 1/3 of all raw chicken in this
country is shipped with some form of salmonella.  Can't say what it's like
in other countries though.

#11 of 14 by marian on Wed Aug 9 16:48:50 1995:

I still think mine's best.  <pout>

#12 of 14 by canis on Thu Aug 17 05:59:53 1995:

Well I would gester that I wasn't hungry, and maybe I'd take a sip of the
vodka, and then refuse it...

#13 of 14 by jazz on Thu Aug 17 06:11:14 1995:

        No sense in making anyone feel bad.  Feign sickness or drowsiness and
flee like the wind.

#14 of 14 by ewhisam on Thu Dec 28 04:12:59 1995:

Primary concern is Salmonella with the poultry however the contact time is
probably not long enough nor the incubation time sufficient to worry about
the bread but you should worry about what has already been eaten. Buy my way
out or distract the woman and claim the food for the higway journey
with thanks.

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.