Grex Reality Conference

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Grex Reality Item 13: A short lis of comparitive religions.
Entered by moo on Sat Apr 9 19:50:12 UTC 1994:

---
==================>A Short Guide to comparitive Religion<=================
---

Fatalism: shit happens
Confucianism: Confucious say, Rshit happens.S
Calvinism: shit happens because you donUt work hard enough.
Buddhism: If this shit happens, It really isnUt shit.
Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturday.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hedonism: ThereUs nothing like good shit happening.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Mormon: This shit is going to happen again.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Iranian Fundamentalist: You better stay off my shit list!
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: shit happens because you are BAD.
Judaism: Why is this shit always happening to us?
Hare Krishna: shit happens rama, rama.
Zoroastrianism: shit happens half the time.
Christian Science: This shit isnUt really happening
Extinstentialism: You create your own shit and make it happen.
Rastafarianism: LetUs smoke this shit!
Nihilism: Who gives a shit what happens?
JehovaUs Witnesses: Only 144,000 of us will get out of this shit.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens and maybe it doesnUt.
Southern Baptists: shit happens only to moderates.
Unitarianism: Any kind of shit you want happens.
Secular Humanism: There are valid reasons shit happens.
Analytical Philosophy: Define Rshit,S define Rhappen.S
Pangolossianism: With all this shit, there must be a pony around here
somewhere. Atheism: Sheeit! --- ============================>The
End<============================== ---Questions, Comments?

31 responses total.

#1 of 31 by moo on Sat Apr 9 19:53:44 1994:

Sorry about the problems with Jehovas Witnesses and Analytical Philosophy, 
also, feel free to add any new "shit happens" for other religions, or improve
these.

#2 of 31 by vidar on Sat Apr 9 20:54:53 1994:

You sure like to swear a lot, don't you?
What the hell is Pangolossianism?
Would you care to indicate your feelings on: Satanism, Norse/Viking,
and Wicca?
Is "shit" your favourite word?

#3 of 31 by jason242 on Sun Apr 10 02:13:00 1994:

Whasn't the graphic on a shirt?!?!?!?!?

#4 of 31 by vishnu on Sun Apr 10 04:46:13 1994:

Oh, yeah, just to tell everone, 
this piece thaty moo has quoted 
was originally done by Wavy Gravy
(wherein it was put on several
t-shirts)

#5 of 31 by bubbles on Sun Apr 10 07:28:55 1994:

Positive Thinking:  If shit happens, it's free fertilizer.

#6 of 31 by oreo on Sun Apr 10 20:22:20 1994:

Pangolossianism is the belief that everything is for the best.

#7 of 31 by moo on Sun Apr 10 20:53:33 1994:

I found this in a Metro Detroit Humanist Newsletter.
--In responce to vidar:
Wicca: Shit happens at the crossroads.
Satanism: Goat Shit is best.
Norse: Shit happens in giant trees.


Add more shit happens stuff pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaze.
                                :->

#8 of 31 by none on Sun Apr 10 22:20:14 1994:

Vidar happens.

#9 of 31 by vidar on Mon Apr 11 16:14:29 1994:

Polaris is an idiot.

#10 of 31 by kami on Mon Apr 11 23:07:50 1994:

wouldn't "shit happens at the crossroads" fit vudoun or some other Yoruba
tradition better?

#11 of 31 by orinoco on Wed Apr 13 19:39:51 1994:

No, vidar, you've got it backwards--polaris is none's pseudo
Capitalism:  BUY OUR SHIT!
Communism:  We all own this shit together.

#12 of 31 by carson on Wed Apr 13 20:04:37 1994:

Nihilism should be "no sh*t?"

#13 of 31 by vidar on Wed Apr 13 23:52:26 1994:

Atheist: Shit happens because there is order.

#14 of 31 by robh on Fri Apr 15 02:01:55 1994:

Wicca:  Shit makes the flowers grow.

#15 of 31 by kami on Sat Apr 16 05:46:29 1994:

there you go. :)

#16 of 31 by vidar on Sat Apr 16 19:02:17 1994:

I'm going off to the purple haze.  See you in a few.
<vidar does not REALLY do drugs>

#17 of 31 by daniel on Sat May 14 19:59:30 1994:

A better Jehovah's Witnesses:
        Knock knock, "Shit Happens"
Bobbitism: SHIT HAP
Gullibilism:  did you know "shit" isn't in the dictionary?
Energizerism:  it keeps shitting, and shitting, and shitting...
Cocainism:  This is GOOD shit!
Darwinism:  may the best shit win
Taoism:  shit can only happen if you're constipated

#18 of 31 by carson on Mon Aug 8 01:39:25 1994:

(I wish I *had* forgotten this item. What a waste of diskspace.)

#19 of 31 by kami on Mon Aug 8 05:19:54 1994:

I think it's cute!

#20 of 31 by dang on Tue Aug 9 00:48:40 1994:

i agree!

#21 of 31 by carson on Wed Aug 10 08:05:40 1994:

(I'm glad you agree it's a waste of diskspace!)

#22 of 31 by dang on Thu Aug 11 03:52:15 1994:

i still like it

#23 of 31 by orinoco on Sun Mar 19 17:17:12 1995:

grex:  this shit is rapidly drifting

#24 of 31 by cyberpnk on Tue Mar 21 00:54:18 1995:

Highlanderism: There can be only one shit!

#25 of 31 by mkoch on Sat Mar 25 03:44:53 1995:

Eat shit! Millions of flies can't be wrong....

#26 of 31 by bjorn on Mon Jun 5 04:23:13 1995:

They can if they give you dengue fever.

#27 of 31 by cormac on Sun Oct 1 18:05:16 1995:

I came. came. I saw. I scat.

#28 of 31 by bjorn on Sat Oct 7 22:13:09 1995:

This svcks!
/

#29 of 31 by eskarina on Thu Jan 4 22:20:44 1996:

No, actually, its pretty cool...  And thanks to dang, its on the web.  :-)
I like the one about
Politicaly Correctism:  Nutritionally Corrected Output happens.

#30 of 31 by wild on Thu Jun 6 21:48:39 1996:

Paganism:  Shit is the most natural thing to happen, so mote it be.

#31 of 31 by papa on Wed Oct 3 19:03:53 2018:

resp:2 Ah, the days when a person would be censured for writing "shit"!

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