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our last talk ------------- its dark out here i can hardly see you your touch is cold voice is dull it was not like that when we first met love-at-first-sight (we called it once) (you remember?) we spent time togather and our dislike grew we have fought many a times (unexpectedly!) why? why? why? why? it makes no sense! i love you you said you loved me (you didn't?) sex is good life is fun (you think?) then what! why? (is there someone?) please talk (who?) why? was it because i forgot to call? (nah! you said it was okay) did i forget to mention enough how beautiful you are? is it because i broke that glass? (i never meant to honey) tell me we can work it out i will never watch football (not even the playoffs) and we can move the bed (promise) (what else did i forget?) i will water the flowers (what else?) and you would not see me wearing that blue shirt again (what else?) i would come home early (i sure will try) everyday! no.. don't cry no please where are you going wait wait darling don't leave me! wait! wait!! <slam>
5 responses total.
I like it.
unles I'm mistaken, long time no post...good return :) The layout is wonderful...kinda brings the frustration and desperation home
Nice comeback, HeMan.
thanks for your appreciation. i was away for a while, but that doesn't mean its a comeback of any sorts... this is more or less my normal turnaround time ;)
This would work very, very well as a monologue in a theatrical setting. Your reminsicing seems recent, urgent, and fresh enough that a dramatic interpretation on a stage would be appropriate. I like the twist at the end that feels like a flashback-- using the present tense in the voicing. Will you get this put into a set of one-act plays and tell me how it worked?
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