Grex Poetry Conference

View Responses

Grex Poetry Item 77: passing
Entered by zoe on Wed Apr 21 16:12:18 UTC 1999:

falling to my knees
                in the depths of sorrow's pity
seeking all i shall never grasp
                         all i'm too weak to withstand
reaching for that broken glass
                         to prove what i am
  leaning into the wind,
         despite the harsh chill
the world seems to be passing,
               though i will be ahead in the end...

5 responses total.

#1 of 5 by zoe on Wed Apr 21 16:14:06 1999:

i don't know.. it's short, and somewhat queer for a poem, but... i don't 
know...

i just couldn't stand not posting my stuff... i sware by Bast, i'm never 
going to deprive myself of writting again!!!

#2 of 5 by orinoco on Thu Apr 22 13:25:56 1999:

I like the way this one _sounds_ most of all.  It seems to keep flirting with
rhyme (grasp/glass, withstand/am, wind/chill) without ever really committing
to a rhyme scheme, which is something I like a lot.

#3 of 5 by arianna on Thu Apr 22 21:28:54 1999:

dan and I always seem to like the pieces that are short, simple and sometimes
weird or vague.  the picture this one paints is like one of those little
snapshots of your thoughts and your feelings.  sometimes little snapshots are
the best way to appeal to one's own thoughts and feelings.  people try so hard
to put their every emotion and thought into words, and then call it p oetry,
and sometimes it achieves that status... but other times, the least amount
said is exactly enough to fill the cup to the brim without spilling over.
<erinn is reminded of the poem she wrote called "Bubble">

#4 of 5 by bookworm on Tue Apr 27 22:27:51 1999:

resp:1 Good Girl!

#5 of 5 by lumen on Wed Jun 2 02:13:19 1999:

resp:4  Julie is a cat lover, so she'll respond to any statement 
regarding Bast..

resp:2 resp:3  Agreed.  Short is good, and the assonance is a nice
spice  to an otherwise free verse.  The spacing is another wonderfully applied 
touch.  I believe the text not only makes a concrete picture of a  feather fall
in their position (not in meaning), and it sets a  predetermined pace for
reading.  e.e. cummings was a master of using  space to pace poetry and I wince
when a reader recites it in an almost  traditional meter the poem so clearly
breaks.

Give yourself a pat on the back-- this seems to be a classic among your 
works.

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.