I'm helping you pack
for what you call the "real" world--
        What does that make this place?

I pack away your pictures,
 dried flowers
posters, plaques and post-cards.
        But can the photo I give you
        suffice when you can't
        touch my face?

When you're there
will you call and remember
that weve been here?

If I send you a letter
will it be returned in kind
or will it vanish?
        You're moving out
        and I'm afraid
        I'm moving away too.

We're folding blankets, sheets.
 Stuffing pillows into 
You can leave with out a trace.
        What will be left behind
        to remember you?
        Will you leave a sign?

        --Cricket, 3/16/99, 10:02 P.M.

4 responses total.

<nods>  The first stanza rock - the perfect balance between sentimentality
and humor.  Good ending, too, especially with all the "signs" you mentioned
up above - "posters plaques and postcards" and so on.
As a little quibble, I'd suggest an elipsis at the end of the 5th-last line
("Stuffing pillows into..."); or if not an elipsis, something to make the
interruption of the flow after that line more clear.  That shift mid-sentence
between describing the events and describing the emotions under them is great,
and you need to make it clearer, IMHO.

Whups, I'm sure there was supposed to be something after "into;"  Suitcases,
I think.  Blast...

Nonononono!  leave it trailing off, I like it much better that way!  
This is definitely a case of a typo caused by a benevolent spirit :)

I checked my saved version:
it reads 
"Stuffing pillows into crates--
you can leave with out a trace."

I like that because those two words sound nice off eachother.

Another question:  What do you guys think of the title?  I'm not sure I'm
completely satisfied with it.

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