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Where has the time gone? It seems only yesterday I saw the most beautiful girl -- Now woman -- in the world. I did not recognize it -- Or her -- at the time, of course, But that is my one distinct memory With a date attached, accurate to Within a month, and a Simple enough explanation of How it came to be. The other thought that Springs to mind when I think of lost time Is something certainly Never occuring *here*; Mayhap in heaven, but so far Only in my dreams -- I have Dreamed it many times, and Recalled it; Unique among my dreams, it is. I walk into a room with a table. Music plays; perhaps "See Amid the Winter's Snow" to begin, Sung by that beautiful girl With her yet-imperfect thirteen- Year-old voice, But it varies. Always constant are the friends -- Some only friends in wish and fantasy, Indifferent in history -- Some seated, some standing At the table. A few stand out, Some varying each time, but They are too many in total to Know, in the dream, them all. Also constant is the song Sung at the table, with the Voice in the dream of the choir At that same concert -- Perhaps why one face in particular Always sticks out in every recurrence Of the dream -- but in picture Sung by all of us together: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Most of those I see at table I have not seen in years, and Will likely never see together again Until the last day, if ever. Where has the time gone? It Vanished like snow on the pavement, Fleeting as fog grasped in the fist. Heaven's primary virtue is its *Lack of end*. Some have said that Heaven is where all things that are Fondly remembered are Stored as they are remembered. To my mind this description Holds some truth, but Lacks veracity in entirety; God does not force those Who reject his salvation. Where has the time gone? Vanished forever are the Mostly-forgotten years; it Seems that all that Memory holds is The record of the Errors I have made. Words inaptly spoken, Words never spoken at all, Actions taken wrongly, Flubbed entrances and exits. It is said that in the end All this shall be redeemed. May it be so. Where has the time gone? Each year passes more Fleetingly than the last; Perhaps at death the pace Will become such that death Is welcome. The endlessness, Without the haste of limits, Of the heaven to come, Is a great comfort -- but Where has the time gone?
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This poem has been accepted for publication in the Calvin literary journal, Dialogue.
The "author's comments," if printed verbatim, will read: "I couldn't sleep for a long time one night a few weeks ago. Part of what was holding me awake was a deep nostalgia, a longing for former days. This poem nearly wrote itself. "I have been writing fiction since second grade and poetry since ninth grade; the early output in both was atrocious, but I can't imagine doing anything else. The events that are portrayed early in the poem, and that the dream later on is based on, took place before my first outburst of poetry." I dedicate this poem first to the glory of God and second to the young lady who figures prominently in the first and second stanzas."
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