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borrowed time borrowed life borrowed lies ammounts to nothing more than faded dreams cracked yellow paint falling thick and steady from too old stucco leads to little more than late night drives weak coffee consumed greedily over too long games of spades I sit at Denny's everynight that the change in my pocket can allow the $1.40 required for a bottomless cup of coffee, and on the nights where I'm lucky I get to sit with a crazy old lady, whos really not that crazy, some young kid, just barely 18, and sooooo full of optimism that I just want to smack some sense into him, or theres the ex- prostitute that just doen't know what to do with life anymore, or the male "escort" and don't dare call him a Gigolo. I get there around 11 and leave around 4 on those lucky nights. When I'm not so lucky I sit there by myself, surrounded by the too loud patrons and realize that I couldn't pick a one of them out of a crowd, or more importantly, they couldn't me. I sit at a table for 4 and stare forlorn at the thin brown on beige ceramic and slowly fill the old red and black book with drivel and whining and pale drawings that will one day be etched in my skin as a symbol of everything I used to believe that I could be until the day I finally woke up. Good morning.
3 responses total.
prosy, beatnikish feel. This would be awesome read to some background music-- it's so urban in its style that it would be a crime if it wasn't. It needs some sort of sound ambiance. Try it; let me know how it goes.
This kind of thing isn't really my bag. I liked some of the word pictures, though.
(Hello all... I'm back for the moment, did anyone miss me?) I agree it sounds very beatnik, and being as that's been more what I've been getting into myself recently, I approve. :) Seriously, though, the second part I thought flowed really well, not sure how much of that is the switch to longer line length, but the words just worked well, I think. The first part I was less impressed with, but I don't think I would have liked the second part as much if you had jumped right into it. I don't know. Play with it some more.
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