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Push yourself to the edge my friend Push yourself to the end Push yourself to the sea my friend Push yourself in We run until running hurts We push until we bleed I want to stop and hold your hand But there's no time for that So go ahead and push yourself Push until you fall Push yourself to the edge my friend Push yourself to the end I'd ask you to take me But you've no time to stop Now I'm stuck chasing you Pushing myself to the edge Pushing myself to the end
14 responses total.
i liked this one.. alot..
The first four lines of this are a good strong beginning (especially the contrast between "push yourself to.../ push yourself to.../ push yourself to..." and "push yourself in". It almost seems like they overwhelm the repeats of that same line later in the poem, so the end seems a little less strong by comparison. I'd almost like to see "Pushing myself in" stuck on the end to make the proportions work out better. Apart from that little quibble, though, I think this is one of my favorites of your poems in this conf. Something about the shortness and the repetition really drives the point home. As usual for you, this'd be great song lyrics.
This one sounds a lot like my "World Song" Is that why you like it so much, Joe?
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I don't really see the simmilarities.... item:poetry,512
neat!!! I finally got the backtalk clicky thing to work... wanna fill me in on the similarities?
Well, Look at the way it flows. In your poem, as in mine, the world seems to be coming after you, not really caring about what you care about or who you are. That was the similarity I was pointing to. Is that about what you meant by your poem?
Hey Joe-- when are you gonna record some of your poetry to music with your friend and send 'em to us?
in the works as we speak :) uhmmm.....gimme a couple days and I'll put a bit of something somewhere and you can get an idea of it....
resp:7 ahhhhh...I see what you mean....I think what I was trying to get at was something a little different, but not much.... I think waht I'm trying to do with this is give off more the impression of looking at it from an outsiders view point, where someone else is letting themselves be pushed, and theres nothing that can be done about it, so you just kinda have to go along with it, and hope that you can help them stop it before the inevitable happens
resp:9 I want a tape, Joe. I am trying to bid on a songwriter's book in the music cf so I can polish my own skills.
wow... i like this... :) <allida is very imressed... > it sings by itself... no need to try
Re #10: yeah, well, Like I said, there are some pretty obvious similarities.
(linked to the new poetry conf)
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