Grex Poetry Conference

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Grex Poetry Item 18: untitled...needs help toking [linked]
Entered by toking on Tue Feb 2 18:31:53 UTC 1999:

Push yourself to the edge my friend
Push yourself to the end
Push yourself to the sea my friend
Push yourself in
We run until running hurts
We push until we bleed
I want to stop and hold your hand
But there's no time for that
So go ahead and push yourself
Push until you fall
Push yourself to the edge my friend
Push yourself to the end
I'd ask you to take me
But you've no time to stop
Now I'm stuck chasing you
Pushing myself to the edge
Pushing myself to the end

14 responses total.

#1 of 14 by zoe on Tue Feb 2 22:48:53 1999:

i liked this one.. alot..

#2 of 14 by orinoco on Wed Feb 3 03:23:10 1999:

The first four lines of this are a good strong beginning (especially the
contrast between "push yourself to.../ push yourself to.../ push yourself
to..." and "push yourself in".  It almost seems like they overwhelm the
repeats of that same line later in the poem, so the end seems a little less
strong by comparison.  I'd almost like to see "Pushing myself in" stuck on
the end to make the proportions work out better.

Apart from that little quibble, though, I think this is one of my favorites
of your poems in this conf.  Something about the shortness and the repetition
really drives the point home.  As usual for you, this'd be great song lyrics.

#3 of 14 by bookworm on Wed Feb 3 07:19:00 1999:

This one sounds a lot like my "World Song"  Is that why you like it so 
much, Joe?

#4 of 14 by toking on Wed Feb 3 15:59:46 1999:

This response has been erased.

#5 of 14 by toking on Wed Feb 3 16:01:06 1999:

I don't really see the simmilarities....

item:poetry,512

#6 of 14 by toking on Wed Feb 3 16:02:08 1999:

neat!!! I finally got the backtalk clicky thing to work...

wanna fill me in on the similarities?

#7 of 14 by bookworm on Wed Feb 3 22:32:54 1999:

Well, Look at the way it flows.

In your poem, as in mine, the world seems to be coming after you, not 
really caring about what you care about or who you are.

That was the similarity I was pointing to.  Is that about what you meant 
by your poem?

#8 of 14 by lumen on Wed Feb 3 23:49:42 1999:

Hey Joe-- when are you gonna record some of your poetry to music with 
your friend and send 'em to us?

#9 of 14 by toking on Fri Feb 5 10:36:20 1999:

in the works as we speak :) uhmmm.....gimme a couple days and I'll put a
bit of something somewhere and you can get an idea of it....

#10 of 14 by toking on Fri Feb 5 10:39:58 1999:

resp:7 ahhhhh...I see what you mean....I think what I was trying to get
at was something a little different, but not much....

I think waht I'm trying to do with this is give off  more the impression
of looking at it from an outsiders view point, where someone else is
letting themselves be pushed, and theres nothing that can be done about
it, so you just kinda have to go along with it, and hope that you can
help them stop it before the inevitable happens

#11 of 14 by lumen on Fri Feb 5 23:36:00 1999:

resp:9 I want a tape, Joe.

I am trying to bid on a songwriter's book in the music cf so I can 
polish my own skills.

#12 of 14 by allida on Sat Feb 6 02:27:30 1999:

wow... i like this... :)
<allida is very imressed... >
it sings by itself... no need to try

#13 of 14 by bookworm on Mon Feb 8 00:27:09 1999:

Re #10:  yeah, well, Like I said, there are some pretty obvious 
similarities.

#14 of 14 by toking on Wed Feb 17 18:13:34 1999:

(linked to the new poetry conf)

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