How did I lose your baby blue eyes
                   And the smile that lit up my sky?
                   What did I say that sent you away?
                   Can somebody tell me why? 

                   Sometimes we move away from the flow
                   And find ourselves lost and alone.
                   What turn did I miss after some kiss
                   That told you what I should have known? 

                   How did you get so far from my heart
                   Without my becoming aware?
                   What did you see deep inside me
                   That I never knew was there? 

                   We drive in the darkness down strange, empty roads
                   Into sudden and unforeseen pain.
                   We think that we choose, but after we lose,
                   We see that we've done it again.

7 responses total.

the content is appealing, but I'm just not hip to rhyming meter (hard to 
get me to like rhyme).

I'll have to take another look.

This particular meter/rhyme scheme is especially unlikely to have people 
taking it seriously, as I found out recently...  

If I were you, I would take this poem and the last one, the one about 
waiting patiently and not invading your space even though you're with 
someone else, and try to combine them into something longer and more 
complex.  Experiment with different meters and rhyme schemes, especially 
more obscure ones.  Add some symbolism/imagery.  Blah blah blah.  
  Basically, I think that both this poem and the last one are too short 
and simple to be interesting, but that they are related enough that you 
might be able to combine them into something with more depth. 

I'm gonna object to your "too short and simple to be insteresting" -- as often
as not, more concise is more interesting.  

"We drive in the darkness down strange, empty roads" -- I like this line. 
If you do end up playing around with these poems more, as flem suggests, you
might try elaborating on it.  The turn towards the eerie in the last stanza
makes the otherwise "light" rhyme scheme seem creepy for a moment.

Okay, okay...  I guess I meant that it was simple (as opposed to 
complex), and that being simple, it was too short to catch my attention.  
It is certainly possible to write short poems that are interesting; I 
will certainly not attempt to deny that.  :)

Oh, I get what you meant.  Okay.

I always admire a person that can get their point across with a rhyming 
poem.  Nice work, Dynamo.

I think the length is fine.... :)

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