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Slowly twisting, turning, grasping, for the light I need , that light I cannot see, illuminate my darkness, breathe into me. You were watching, when I died, as I wait for my next step, to be my last. Sitting, rocking, waiting, my mind gone majnoon, I know this broken love, has to end all too soon. In your eyes i fall, yet in your hands I rise, I can't do this forever, as you cut me down to size. The light will find me, with or without you, and I will become distant, like you always knew.
6 responses total.
Hi everyone! I haven't been back to GREX in foever it seems! Nor written a single line of poetry in a few years!! So this attempt off the top of my head was simply an excuse to say hi to friends of old, and of new! :) Opinions still wanted for curiosity's sake! :)
The style of this seems to change about halfway through, when you suddenly decided to start rhyming. I kinda like the first part better. I'm all for rhyme, but not when you have to twist your rhythm and your sense around to get it.
I agree..I didn't actually try to! :) heh,
ah, more lyrics. if inspiration hops in for a visit, as it if music could justify the twisty rhyming. (;
Oh, you aren't entirely new then. That's what I get for reading the new items out of sequence. Just ignore the greeting you'll see in a few more items, then..... Re#2: The rhyme between "cannot see" and "into me" sort of had me prepared for the part where it starts rhyming consistantly, so I guess for me the change wasn't as jarring. But I agree with flem that the first half feels less forced. What does "majnoon" mean?
It's good to see you back, Meg. I've been gone, too.
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