The Sea
1/22/99

We came to the riverbank as children,
Naive and young,
Naked and innocent.

One by one, we looked into the water;
In pairs, in groups of two and seven,
We leapt across the ravine
to the other side.

In the haze, we felt shame;
In that moment, we felt ourselves
And each other,
And felt alone.

we came to the riverbank as adults,
Jaded and aged,
Nude and corrupt.

One by one, we looked into the water.
In pairs, we dove into the muddy depths.
Our feet sucked into the mire
As we reached out to the sea.

In the quiet, we felt alive;
In that moment, we felt ourselves
And each other
And felt entwined.

We came to the riverbank as nothing;
We came to the riverbank as all.
what had been us
Eroded and evolved into one
And we became the river

In that moment, we felt ourselves
And eachother.

And we became the sea.

10 responses total.

beautiful.  i can't think of anything else to say... :)

Me, too.  

That was very well put together, Paul.

You make me feel like an amateur.

He has practice.

This is nice, easy reading; and yet it says a lot.  The clarity is so 
nice and smooth that it doesn't hit you all at once-- this is something 
savorable and easy to enjoy slowly.

thanks, all =}

  !
this rocks.

(linked to the new poetry conf)

sometimes I remember why I don't like reading your stuff brighn, I hate
feeling like I should just give up now <G>

heh. I don't remember responding to this one, but it seems I did. [:  
an appropos response, too. d=

Very well executed.  The rhythm of the phrases very nicely emphasizes 
the text in all the right places.  I could almost hear it being read 
aloud.  Neat, coherent imagery too, supporting a nontrivial message.  
This was a pleasure to read.  

nice work!... keep going on, very inspirating...

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss