No Next Item No Next Conference Can't Favor Can't Forget Item List Conference Home Entrance    Help
View Responses


Grex Poetry Item 105: rebirth
Entered by zoe on Thu Jun 24 00:36:22 UTC 1999:

my barren bones lie beneathe me..
  i stand--
     gazing at the surrounding light,

i am safe...
   from the world's hate and preuduce,
       from the existing sorrow that once had filled my body.

now i fly upon the vast brilliance that envelopes my being,
           baptizing my insides from the cruelty i had once known
             as home. 

my insides shine,
 matching the frequencies sent about me...
          calling me to where i belong.

i reach so far...
    though the silver thread pulls me back to my physical container.
                and i am left to rot in this godforsaken world.

hope is that which i can only cry for.
       to remain detatched is all but a dream.
          for this is now,
where i will continue to linger until i find those to help lift me up.

4 responses total.



#1 of 4 by bookworm on Thu Jun 24 18:50:29 1999:

Zoe, this is very touching.

I find the phrase, "I fly upon the vast brilliance that envelopes my 
being..." particularly interesting.

As for the implied message, I still think it's possible to be happy while 
yet in this life.  All you need to do is find it.

I like your poetry.  Keep it up.


#2 of 4 by herded on Thu Jun 24 19:13:39 1999:

        This is beautifully heartbroken.
        Ignore me if I'm incorrect, but I think that I've felt this way many
times, just looking and looking for someone that will mean something to
me. Someone that I will want to stay forever.
        This is beautiful.


#3 of 4 by orinoco on Thu Jun 24 19:47:47 1999:

I like this, especially "baptizing my insides ... my insides shine, matching
the frequencies" etc.  "I am left to rot in this godforsaken world" strikes
me as more than a little cliche, though.


#4 of 4 by lumen on Thu Jun 24 21:45:13 1999:

Agreed.  Your imagery is your greatest strength, so keep endeavoring to 
make it original and fresh.

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.

No Next Item No Next Conference Can't Favor Can't Forget Item List Conference Home Entrance    Help

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss