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9 responses total.

I suppose we have a sort of default-family bed: at various points in the boys
lives, they've ended up in our bed for most of the night- I'm too sleepy to
send them back...<g>  THen too, they generally come in for "morning cuddles"
just as Michael and his sister did when they were little.  Gareth kicks. <sigh>

When they were teeny-tiny, we'd make love quietly even with a sleeping baby a
few feet away- heck, the walls aren't much barrier when they *are* in their
own beds...:}  Now, if the door is shut they are to knock, or better yet, go
downstairs, as mom and dad are busy.

Evidence that it doesn't seem to be doing any harm; one day on our way out the
door, Timothy said to me "I don't want you to kiss papa in front of me
anymore". To which I replied, "Well, don't look"--this went on a bit, him
saying I can't be sure whether he's looking or not and me saying that that's
his resposibility, until we came to some fuzzy resolution.  Then he surprised
me by saying; "I don't think you and papa love each other as much anymore--you
don't make the making-love noises before you kiss for as long as you used to." 
--Damn near knocked me over!  So he's absorbed that sex is normal, it's for
adults, and it expresses love.  Coolness.  Gareth is still doing the Oedipal
thing: wants me to kiss his lips, wants to "play papa" and bounce up and down
on my bladder first thing in the morning (sorry, after the 1st 9 months, the
bladder reverts to prior ownership...<g>).  If we were real hung up about sex
and modesty and the like, this stuff would be disturbing, but then, I think
that discomfort conveys itself to kids.

Back to the family bed, ours is too small...:}  Seriously: I would *not* put
a kid between me and Michael unless there were a specific good reason at that
moment, and it would have to be a king bed if this were to be a permanent
arrangement.  I'd sooner everyone had *some* private place they can go, even if
they bunk in together most nights, since it's no fun sleeping with a sick
person (and when I'm sick I don't want company), or on hot nights.  
I think couples in this situation either make love when the kids are asleep, or
out of bed.  Remember that people in many places today still have much less
space or privacy than we enjoy, and still manage to reproduce.

Boy, was this incoherent.  Guess I'm still sorting it out a bit.

We had a bit of a family bed when my kids were little.  It wasn't formal or
official or anything, but as Kami says, when they're small they will turn up
and you have to be coherent to get them back to their own beds.  ;)  When the
babies were small, I kept them near me to nurse in the night.  It was only
natural that the kids ended up considering our bed theirs to some extent. 
I'd lie down with them at bedtime, and then when my partner came to bed --
or was disturbed by a restless tot, he'd move the tot to his own bed.  Come
morning, he'd spring back up and into our bed.

Because it wasn't formal or official, we had the option of moving a sleeping
child into his own bed to make room for lovemaking.

I think a family bed *is* good for children to a certain age.  In infants it's
been proved to reduce the risk of SIDS and in toddlers it seems to make for
more secure, relaxed kids.  That latter may be case of Factors A & B being
corelated to unseen factor C, though.  It's just my personal observation.

I agree, for the most part, with kami.  He was in our room for the first 2-3
months for convenience of nursing, but when he switched to bottle, that's
another story entirely, he went into his crib.  This was also because in the
first few months he had real problems getting to sleep and after becoming
"settled" he went down and for most of the night with relative ease.  The main
reason for the switch to his crib was so we could have some privacy, and not
just for lovemaking either.  Particularly witha  first child, there are lots
of changes and infancy is always a trying time.  Putting him in his crib in
the other room made us feel like we had a real break and could just be
ourselves and not always have to be exclusively in "parent mode".  not to say
that you can ever completely leave it, but you can shove it back to the back
of your mind for small periods of time so long as you have the "alarm" set.

That's a very important thing to remember.  You *must* have times that belong
to the two of you and times that belong to each of you individually.  It makes
it far easier to stay sane when the little darling is being anything but a
little darling.  (Usually about the age of two.)

Repeat after me; "I love my son, I love my son, I love my son..." <g>
The reason they're so cute when they're sleeping is so you don't murder them
for driving you nuts when awake...<bg>

The same reason kids are cuter when they don't belong to you :)

Hmmm, I've found the opposite to be true, actually.

<abchan shrugs>
I think (or more, I hope) that I'm just going through a phase of not wanting
to deal with kids after having helped raise six of them.  I know that if I
never have kids, I'd regret it in my later years, so I'm hoping that maybe
after awhile of not having to be responsible for so many little ones, I'll
regain some patience and maternal instinct will kick in... in about ten
years, and I'll decide to have kids then.

Sounds really likely.  I'm slowly finding a little of my "mamma" 
instinct coming back.  Just in time to turn them into "Grandma" 
instincts, I suspect.  (It'll take a while to hone them again.  <g>)

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