I have always been a firm beliver in spanking, but My wife and I 
have realized that our 7 year old is starting to get too old for that.
We are learning to ways to discipline.  This is one of those ways.

        Over the weekend our daughter flatly disobeyed our wishes....
We realized a spanking wasnt going to do a thing so we grounded her to
her bedroom for one day....Then i began to think what good is that going
to do....she will just play in there all day long....I tried to think
of a way to get her to think about what she had done.....I told her 
that she would have to write 50 sentences saying..."I am grounded because
i diobeyed my parents" before she could come out....It really seemed to 
affect her positively..and I just wanted to pass it along to all the
parents on grex

11 responses total.

I'll put my money on the 7 year old daughter.  She's 
already got it figured out.

And what is that suppeosed to mean? hmmmm?

I am not sure what it means but I'll put forth my theory.  I have always
believed in restrictive punishemtn being punishing yourself and not the
offender.  At least, home grounding.  Now if you ground them to a friends
house.. we might get some interesting results.

I stopped grounding my daughter to her room when I realized
she loved it...got all that privacy, got to sit and read while her
brother did yardwork, cleaned the playroom or entertaained our 
toddler.  Now she gets threatened with being grounded from special events
like parties or girl scout camp outs.

Sounds highly more effective.
;-)

I think what every parent needs to do is to determine what is going to be the
most effective form of discipline for their own child.  Lets face it nobody
knows your child as well as you do.  In my case our new form of discipline
works better than we had hoped.  I think it is because our daughter is forced
to think about what she did wrong. 

Right on.  I disagree with people who state flat out that a certain punishment
does not work - period.  It depends both on the parents and upon the child,
more upon the maturity level of the child.  Use what works, and excuse my
launguage, but fuck the rest.

You know I dont like to call it punishment all the time bjorn.  I use more
discipline than punishment.  Both of my children are different though.  My
son who is the youngest requires more discipline. He is still learning his
limits and boundries.  My daughter on the other hand gets more punishment.
 She clearly knows her limits on most things.  Therefore she chooses to cross
those boundries instead of testing where they are.

Well everbody has their own way of seeing it.  I see it sort of as a merger:
One punishes to correct.  I understand your seperation, but I personally
it is a merger in my mind.
..

In general I wouldn't send Jonathan to his room for discipline's sake,
it has too many  books in it.  When I really wanted him to think about
something I once sent him to the guest bedroom (it's full of outgrown
kids' clothes instead), and when he's being *punished* the obvious thing to
take away is computer privileges (or soccer, at this season, since that
is so much extra work for me & why should I go to the trouble if he won't
[fill in the blank]).  

The older one has a head of pure granite and never has had any intrinsic
desire to please or respect for authority.  Sometimes I just have to prove
I *can* make him...I don't like it, but that's life.  A spanking breaks
the cycle.  On the other hand, passive restraint (holding him until he
calms down and looks at me) has been known to make him utterly hysterical.
No, he doesn't have autism, but take this a bit further down the line and
it sure would look that way...So now I can sit him out for a minute to calm
down, but as a toddler a spanking was less "abusive".  Taking a mis-used
toy away for a period of time works moderately well and helps him calm down.
        THe second one *does* have an intrinsic desire to please, so "mama
will be VERY angry" works ok.  A spanking mostly means nothing to him,
although sometimes a sharp slap to an offending hand or thigh (rolling around
while I try to change him- he's too old for that) will get his attention-
*sometimes*.  Counting works every time with him- gives him a chance to 
decide that he wants to do what he was told.  And if he won't come iwth me
somewhere, I can start walking and know he won't be long.  The older one
might or might not come.  THey're so different.

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss