this something I have to get off my chest -- because I just heard this morning
and because I've been lying sleepless in my bed, ne3ar vomiting from pain
and fear for hours now.  I have to tell someone and you folks are my friends.


I got a call this morning teling me that TJ, my eldest son, age 14 tomorrow,
has been lying in a Swedish hospital for a week now.  He fell from a
great height while playing at a scout camp.  He was lucky.  He only
shattered one wrist.  From that height, had he fallen differently, he
could be dead, comatose, or wheelchair ridden for the rest of his life.

Instead, he has completely lost the use of that hand, which is now
riddles with metal clips, pins and plates.  They can't predict yet
how much use he may ever regain.

It was so badly broken up that it was "broken off and lying atop the
same arm" according to his younger brother.  The medicxal staff had
to open the arm and put the bones back together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Then, they couldn't close him up for several days because the swelling
was so great that they were worried that as the swelling went down the wound
would open again.. Tey even got to the point of recommending a skin graft
so they could close him upp enough to retard infection.  Fortunately,
the swelling went down enough in the day before the graft was scheduled
that they were able to avoid it.

He was, as I understand it, kept "under" and fed intravenously during much
of that time.  He's, of course, still in immense pain.

He told me thast when they first got him patched up, the medical staff
asked him if there was anyone he wanted to call.  He wanted to talk to
me, but since it "wasn't possible", he just cried.  This from a 
particularly proud and brave teenaged boy.  He cried for me.

As of this morning he was somewhat able to move his fingers around a glass,
but not really grasp it or lift it.  They do hope, however, to remove
some of the outer pins and release him in time for his birthday.

All these medical decisions were made and carried out before I ever
knew my son was hurt.  Would they have told me sooner, I wonder,
if he had ben killed.

Thanks for listening to my story.

Misti
a very upset and worried mother

37 responses total.

My heart and concern goes out to your Misti.  What could be worse then having
a seriously ill child far away from you and out of your reach.  When will you
be able to see him again?  You need to see him and hold him to shake loose your
fear and worry.  My thoughts will be with you during the next week.

Misti, this is quite a shock.  The last time I saw TJ he was doing
fine.  Hopefully he is doing well.  Have you spoken to him?  I'll
bet that it's possible to reach him by phone.  It might take a while
to get the connections, but it will be worth it for both of you.

It seems odd to me that they (hospital administrators) didn't get
in touch with you sooner.  Perhaps they thought the Scouts would
contact you and the Scouts thought the hospital would.

Misti, I'm so sorry to hear about his accident.  Of course you are beside
yourself.  I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts.  Thank heaven it
wasn't worse.

Misti...we haven't met nor do I know TJ but your story touched
me in a very deep place.  How  horrific for you.  I will also keep
you in my thoughts and sending out healing energy.  Blessings, dear.

Gosh I'm sorry, Misti.  I don't understand why you weren't told sooner,
but am thankful that it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Thanks to all of you, and also to everyone who sent their blessings privately.
Yes, As soon as I heard about the accident, (from TJ's father), I called
the hospital as soon as I could without waking him.  He's in great pain
and pretty scared, but seemed relieved to hear from me and babbled
to his old Mum for as long as we could keep the line.  I'm sure that
he'll be OK in the long run.  TJ's a survivor and won't let something
like this keep him down for long.

I may not hear much more until hi father brings him home in 3 weeks...
I can't affoer to call as often as I wish I could.  (please excusew my old
cranky keyboard.)

Anyway, I was asked to post his address in Europe -- I'm sure any cards
and good wishes will do wonders for his spirits if anyone else is
inclined to send them.


                        Herr Tomas-Jason Rydholm
                        Hedehus
                        Offerstigen 5
                        Axeltorp, 26900
                        Bastad, Sverige

                                        (Sweden)

(Just TJ will also work, but to those of you who know him as Tomas --
he shares that name with his grandfather, and it could cause some 
confusion to omit the hyphenated part.)

I've spent the better part of the day arranging to have his hospital records
translated, arranging for him to recieve physical therapy and to see a
hand/bone specialist, etc. and I feel much better.  (More in control)  There's
something about 3 am when your child is hurt and far away that is really dark
and quiet, and frightening.

Again, Thanks for your support everyone.  It means a great deal to me.

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Wow! That's quite a story. I'll be pulling for both you and him.

It's hard to know quite how to say everything...  I'm glad TJ
survived such a horrible fall and I hope he has the strength to see
his therapy through.  It will hurt like hell, but he has to stick with
it to get the most out of his hand.  If this had to happen, Sweden was
one of the better places for it-- they have a wonderful health system.
  
I can't imagine what you went through.  I'm not sure I could have
handled myself as well as you've apparently gotten through this.
   
All of our best wishes to you and TJ.  Please don't forget his
brother-- he's got some images floating around in his head that will
probably be hard to deal with.

Keep the faith.  I had a cousin who was severely injured in an auto accident
in 1967.  He had part of his brain case torn away, and 90% of the bones in 
his body were broken.  They put him on an ice bed and gave him up as lost.
Three days later, they decided they had better set his bones.

He is alive and well today.  His only permenent problem was that his left
hand was nearly bent back double on itself because of the tendons.

Physical therapy can do wonders today, even with badly mangled joints.

YEowww! That's a really rough story to have to relate. Certainly glad
that he was taken care of so quickly. AT least you were informed when
there weren't a zillion questions without answers.
 
I'd guess that you will be feeling better soon, knowing that most
of the stuff is under control.
  
keep us posted

I just got caught up on all this.  What a helpless situation
to be in, not knowing what all was going on, being so very
far away.  He'll mend - they don't make 'em any better than
a teenager's body.  But you won't really believe that until
he's in your arms again.

I hope that's soon.

My heart goes out to you and your son--you'll be surprised, I think, at how
wonderful physical therapy is.  We do it in my nursing home daily, and the
results are astounding.  Please keep grex posted on how he's doing!

Don't know what else to say except you have my sympathy too.  It is a week
later or two now.  How's he doing?

The guys will be home in a couple of weeks.  I won't know much
until then because, as far as I know, they are traveling around
the country by train.  At any rate I'm told they won't be available
by phone.

Last I heard, TJ was off his pain-kllers and learning to live with
daily pain.  He sounded in reasonable spirits, though kind of "flat".

Corey is OK, too, though feeling kind of sad and neglected.

They both sound like they'll be happy to be home.

And as time passes, the negatives will become positive adventures, I hope.

Mta...how are *you* doing?  This must still be a logistical
nightmare.

Yeah, well, on top of this comes a 4-5 month miscarriage and some personal
troubles I won't go into.  Lets just say this is one of the worst summers
on record.  If you pray, I could stand to be remembered in whatever sort
of prayer you perform.

I hurt right now, but I'm a survivor and will be fine in the long run.
But thanks for asking.

I do indeed *pray*.  And you are in my thoughts.  New moon is coming dear.
I will think of you very strongly then
and send you what ever you want.  What a horrible summer for you.
One child injured and another lost.  I guess the only thing
to do is to send you one helluva big cyber hug.

Thanks, Arwen.  And on top of it, to be alone again after 8 years is
perhaps an apt icing.  (see announcements)

Bleah.  I want a new life.  This one is no fun any more.

No Misti!!!!  You have a new life now!!!  Take Misti out to a movie
nobody else will go see with her!!  Take her to her favorite 
restraunt.....or her favorite park.   Let Misti do something
she wants to do!!!

This too will pass, even if you can't see that now Misti.

I'm confused about what's happened, Misti.  Could you share 
some of what's happened?

Mary, I responded in mail.
Arwen, I've been trying to do something brand new every day.  Therev are
no movies I especially want to see, and being a very social person, most
things just aren't all that worth-while to me unless they're shared.
(So I've been catching up on alot of reading.).

Don't worry, when I say I want a new life, I'm speaking meta-physically.
(well, mostly.)

Aruba -- yes, well, I keep telling myself that.  But my heart
doesn't believe a word of it.  And so far this summer, every time
things start to get a little better, I get hit bwith something new.

In response to that very last comment Misti made...
Why does that seem true for a lot of people this summer?
In fact, this whole year has been one awful roller-coaster ride
for me.

Some major planetary stuff....Pluto moving out of Scorpio(YAY!)
which means alot of MAJOR transformational stuff is done.

Awful years will pass, I can attest.

This year has been my worst also. But, it's not over yet.

Is the moon in the 7th house yet?

I have to agree with this being a bad summer, pretty much for myself and 
people close to me.  I went out on an errand at work today and got in a car
wreck.  That is excruciatingly minor compared to my awful stuff.
Awful years pass, yes...but it is hell living through one.  Some days...a
lot, recently...I feel like not bothering to leave my house.  I have to 
tell myself that it can only go up from here!

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This response has been erased.

Mine's going pretty well too, I think.

(the reason my year is going well is because of how I'm approaching
it. if it was too much to deal with, it'd be worse.)

My year sux

Misti, my heart goes out to  you - but also thanks you - I though I had been
having a bad time.  You've helped me sis  see it in better perportion. (blast
these fingers - I just washed my hands, and now I can't do a tihng with them! )

Thea and I have decided that there was a writer's strike for the 
Universal Soap Opera that we live in - and the producers an re having to 
use up all the plots they previously rejected as being too much.  I want
a new writer for my personal plot line: somebody who specializes in
"living happily ever after - and rich!" as an  ending.

Sound good to me Becca.  Do you have a contact within the union?  I'd
like to do a little wrangling for that writer myself!  ;)
(Rich I can live without.  Happily ever after would be nice)

Anyway, things are again looking up for me.  I find it hard to stay
down too long when so many people have been so supportive.  I'm
still concerned about T, of course.  But from what I've heard, he's
doing phenominally well.  And I can see for myself in a few days!!
I feel sad about losing the baby...but since I was told that I had 
suffered "premature menopause and would never be able to concieve
naturally" I also see it as a sigh of hope that I *was* able to
concieve.  While I still miss my former SO terribly, the aching
hole in the core of my being is slowly transmigrating into a powerful
sense of "wistful" and a sadness over losing my very best friend.
I may survive this yet.

So, when is Pluto gonna finish this little "death dance" and let us get
on with the "new beginnings"?  (The moon is always in the 7th for
someone.)

Thanks to everyone for helping me through this.  I doubt I could bounce
back so easily if not for your support.  

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