Is there an *age* when clothes sense is likely to develop, or
is it purely a matter of personality and training?  Our oldest is now
almost seven; do I have a while before he starts telling me that he
has "nothing fit to wear"?  Or should I be telling him?

19 responses total.

BTW, I don't have much of this myself.  When we went to visit Dave's
parents over Christmas I carefully chose clothes for the three-year-
old, remembering that Grammie for some reason is offended by holes
and worn-looking spots (thereby eliminating some favorites, of course).
Then I felt much put upon when she said his pants were too short for him.

(Grace's husband is well known for having no taste worth mentioning in
this area.)

1. kids (age 2- 8 at least) choose their clothes for some highly creative
reasons-- all red to be a fireman, browns to be an owl, these boots for a
spaceman or those (same color, slightly higher) for a fireman, etc.  Fit,
weight/ warmth, match, etc. are irrelevant.  To some extent, I try only to
control for weather- appropriateness.  However, I could go out and buy all new
clothes with designer labels before a grandma visit and my mother would still
treat them as vaguely inadequate.  They need to feel needed, as the "more
experience parent".  Don't take it too seriously.  You can help your kids to
figure out what occasions require more formal/ conventional choices, by telling
them if you are going somewhere that requires a grownup to select clothes. I
think the six year old can start being encouraged to learn what colors go well
together, not to wear multiple shades of the same color, not to pick torn or
dirty clothes, etc. except for play.  He or she will probably have the concept
and be starting to choose appropriate clothes on a regular basis within the
year.  THe catch is, if stains are invisible to you, they likely will be to
him.  There are a number of things I do poorly if at all that I am trying to
help Timothy learn so he will not feel as backwards as I often do.  They are
things I COULD do if I thought about it, however, not things which are quite
foreign to me.  Good luck.

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my mother had been in clothing design many years ago, when "ready to wear"
clothing was a relatively new concept, so I grew up with regular discussions
about style, color, the effect of various outfits, etc. and her very strong
opinions of certain styles- shirtwaist dresses looked "cheap", as did tight
clothing.  Lables were meant to remain inside the clothes, and the only name
that counted was mine, etc.  The good part of this was that I learned to be
observant and to have a sense of play, of drama, with clothing.  I see this
with no urging on my part in Timothy's choices- today he wanted to be a 
"greasy mechanic".  When I pointed out the rather handsome sweater he had
chosen (my mistake- spoke too soon), he went back and got his denim vest.
The bad part of my mother's concern with clothing was that I didn't really get
to choose my own clothes unaided until quite late.  To this day she will 
comment if she doesn't like an outfit I have chosen to wear while visiting.
There's the choice we have to make-- do we give the kids autonomy as much as
is safe, or do we want them to look good?

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gah! although, I suspect most of us are more likely to raise the one who gets
picked on for being a nerd :)

If it's in any way due to genetics or example (or parent-putting-his-foot-
down, FTM) that's what *my* kids will be, all right.

what does FTM mean?  it's hard for me to guess or learn the meanings of 
acronyms.  I only know a few very common ones.  thanks

For That Matter.  I sometimes forget & use it for For The Moment, too.

thanks, davel.

I personally would rather let them decide, within loose parameters
(e.g. not indecent, suitable for the weather.  Right now the six-year-
old doesn't care much, he'd rather have me make decisions in most 
cases, while the three-year-old is more likely to have definite views
(and want to wear the thing that is now in the washing machine).
I did once hear of a little girl (four? six? no older) who told her
father he couldn't wear some outfit because the pieces didn't belong
together -- she had heard that kind of thing from her mother.  My
kids aren't hearing much of that from me, it's not that important. 
If it becomes important to them ten years from now they can educate me.

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I get really mad when parents use their kids to play out fantasies- dress up
or barbie or shirley temple or whatever- if kids weren't meant to get dirty,
the human race wouldn't have made it this far- sanitation is a modern idea!

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I wish I had the guts to let my kid wear his pjs, sca garb, or some of the 
other oddities he comes up with.
,

Kami, it may be just as well that you "don't have the guts" to let Timothy
wear whatever he pleases (sca garb, pj's, etc.)  I was quite you and
idealistic when I had my kids and I decided before they were walking that
they would have full autonomy about how they looked.  I figured
I was strict enough about alot of more important stuff to warrant giving
them their heads on that just about completely.  Then my eldest fell in
love with the most beautiful, white lace first communion dress with
pink,yellow, and blue bows.  Now, I had no objection to him wearing it -- it
was gorgeous, but I knew from experience that it would itch, pinch, and be so
uncomfortable he'd quickly lose interest.  It was only 4.50 at the resale shop.
 What to do? I'd never said no before about anything he wanted to wear unless
it was just plain beyond out budget.  I had already told him that $5 was the
limit, and at four he knew that 4.50 was less.  

I was stumped.  I didnn't care if he wore it, but I *really* didn't want
him teased for wearing it -- not warning him adequately would be cruel.
I finally settled on: "OK, you can buy it, but since others would tease
you cn't wear it out of the house *ever*.  Well, he obviously thought I was
going nuts  on him.  He had never heard that as a reason for doing/not doing
anything. Fortunately, he spotted a sports jacket in burnt sienna that dated
from 15 years before he was born and fit someone in his early adolescence. That
was even more gaudy and made a good compromise.

*sigh*  I never thought I'd let the gender thing enter into the way
I raised my kids -- but when the chips were down, I wimped out.  I
couldn't find a way to protect them from the cruel teasing without
refusing to let them wear what they found "beatutiful".  I think in
retrospect I'd have been more restrictive from the start about what to
wear in public -- not because it matters, really, but for CYA.
*bleah.

I let Timothy wear things that clash horribly, although I generally tell him
so,and why. I do sometimes let him wear a tunic to preschool, but with
mundane pants, not trews.  that's partly a matter of looks, but more a matter
of convenience: drawstrings aren't as handy as zippers. Our biggest issue
is over suitability forthe weather: today Michael was tired while taking
him to preschool, and I didn't get to look, so he went out into this heat
wearing a navy blue long sleeved shirt and heavy sweat pants because he
thinks they look like a police uniform (the color, you know.) I wish I could
have seen it- I would have insisted he wear shorts and a T shirt, or at least
lighter clothes. He hasn't tried to wear "girls' clothes" in al ong time,
but he did prefer pinks and purples for a time.  NOw it's orange.  Ugh. His
choice- I don't have to wear it.

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