Grex Oathbound Conference

View Responses

Grex Oathbound Item 34: I loved her madly yesterday, today I hate her guts!
Entered by kerouac on Sun May 7 20:56:42 UTC 1995:

  Okay, how to fight the perception that this is a dying conf? Easy, enter
a new item! (looks good for one to be entered every millenium or so)  Since
this is the friendship conference I thought it the perfect place to bring
up a topic that we discussed on party this week.  Specifically, why is
it that when a romantic relationship ends, some people end up hating each
other and others can remain friends.

The obvious implication is that not all people who get involved romantically
were friends to begin with.  Sometimes people get into relationships 
purely based on physical chemistry, and that chemistry ends up being 
all-consuming and you dont end up knowing your partner well enough on all
levels.

A more psychological reason would be that it can be said that "hate" and 
"love" are actually two sides of the same coin, both deep heartfelt
emotions that arent in a sense all that different.  Personally though, I
find it hard to accept that if you ever really cared deeply about someone
that you could ever really HATE them.  That is obviously the case 
sometimes though.

I have never ended up hating anyone I've been involved with, even when I
may have had reasons for such feelings.  But on the other hand, there has
been a time or two when I may not have been particularly interested in
staying friends.  Maybe it depends on the individuals involved.....

15 responses total.

#1 of 15 by brighn on Mon May 8 01:25:28 1995:

There are a few people that I both love and hate.  I hate them because they
deny me my right to be around them, for one reason or another.  In one case,
their emotional problems have made me into a villian I am not.  In another
case, I cannot overlook their past acceptance of allegations against me.
And so on.  I love them and deep down feel they are decent folks.  But their
are certain flaws, either in myself or in them, which also cause me to hate
them them.

#2 of 15 by jemart on Tue May 9 05:08:41 1995:

There is no one that i can say I truly hate that I know of.There are a few
people in this world I can dowithout and 1 or 2 that I dislike alot. I guess
I`m too easy I try to give every one the benifit of the doupt...

#3 of 15 by freida on Thu Jun 1 03:18:22 1995:

Maybe the things that you grow to hate about a person persist after the 
breakup...this would be good cause to not continue the friendship.

#4 of 15 by sun on Sat Jun 10 19:37:22 1995:

I tend not to want to be around those that I break up with or who break up 
with me, because of the WAY it was done.  Some people were just so damaging
spycologically and emotionally, that I cannot be around them withtou falling
into tthe same trap that I left.  Some are just so incompataable that you can't
be arount them, and then some are such ASSES after you break up with them, 
you can't be around them because of their behavior.

#5 of 15 by eeyore on Mon Jun 12 13:30:27 1995:

well, at this point, i've actually broken up with one guy, and sorta
pseudo-broken up with 2 othrs (don't ask...either you know the stories or
you don't), and i get along fine with all three of them.  one of them i'd
prefer not to be around too much, but it's not that hard to do with him gone
for the summer.

#6 of 15 by rubie on Mon Jul 10 11:10:24 1995:

Well, with my life now, i've experienced to be so blind with love and at the
end to somewhat hate that person for doin' this for me .But there is always
other side of the story in which  you became aware that even though you hate
him as much as you don't even like to see him anymore you will always forgive
that person and  still love him inspite of everything hi... i really don't
dont what to do with interrupt message coming form a certain grey
[A[Amail
mail
quit

#7 of 15 by rubie on Mon Jul 10 11:17:36 1995:

#6 of ^
help
a: help
a: "help"

#8 of 15 by val on Mon Jul 10 21:30:25 1995:

Hello rubie!!  Welcome to Grex!!!  < It's a pretty sure thing that she's new

#9 of 15 by adania on Fri Jul 14 18:42:00 1995:

A-yai!

#10 of 15 by anne on Sat Jul 15 06:58:00 1995:

(ya think so Val? ;)  )

Hiya Ruby!!  Welcome to Oathbound!!!! :) :)

#11 of 15 by val on Sat Jul 15 21:08:59 1995:

Well you know how it is all those helps and exits.  But in the end
everyone figures it out.  Could you imagine someone who didnt spending
the rest of his life glued to the computer trying to finish his response?  :)

#12 of 15 by anne on Sun Jul 16 17:34:10 1995:

that couls concievably be bad....

#13 of 15 by jemart on Mon Jul 17 15:00:57 1995:

welcome rubie...yeah it took me a litle while to learn enough to get
around...hehe...I still just know enough to crawl around...

#14 of 15 by lee on Sun Dec 8 00:32:09 1996:

Sometimes the things you love about someone in the first place turn into the
things you hate about them later.  Also, both love and ahte are strong
emotions, and you can't really love or hate someone if you don't care enough
about them to give them the time of day.

#15 of 15 by morgaene on Tue Dec 17 05:19:47 1996:

I am in love now, and the things I loved about that person at first are still
there, and even stronger. Love and hate result from spending time with an
individual. I agree with you, Lee... one can only obtain surface emotions and
assumptions from spending little time with a person.

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.