Grex Music Conference

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Grex Music Item 16: Music Humor
Entered by mcnally on Thu Mar 23 20:45:58 UTC 2006:

Music is rich with comic possiblities and musicians are notorious
for jokes at their own expense or (more usually) the expense of
fellow musicians (cf. "drummer", "banjo player", "violist"..)

Please share with us your favorite music humor.

9 responses total.

#1 of 9 by mcnally on Thu Mar 23 20:48:27 2006:

 It's not brilliant, but I kind of liked this joke, recently
 posted in rec.humor.funny, but cleaned up here to remove
 spelling and grammar problems..

     A young composition student in one of the more prestigious
     conservatories in Russia is running out of time for an important
     project.  Over the coming weekend the school orchestra will be
     gathered on stage to read through all the composition students'
     symphonies for the first time in front of the professor.

     In a fit of last-minute inspiration he goes to the library and
     checks out one of his professor's symphonies, and writes out
     the whole work backwards.  That weekend, after his hand-copied
     parts have been distributed, he waits nervously as the orchestra
     looks over the music.

     The conductor gets into place and readies the orchestra, and on
     his downbeat, out comes the opening fanfare to Tchaikovsky's 4th.

#2 of 9 by other on Fri Mar 24 02:10:05 2006:

After years of study, scientists have just recently discovered that the
violin and the viola are actually the same size.  It's just that the
violinists' heads are so much bigger...

#3 of 9 by krj on Mon Mar 27 05:13:25 2006:

Q.  How do you tell Irish fiddle tunes apart?
 
A.  By the titles.

#4 of 9 by albaugh on Wed Mar 29 00:29:03 2006:

What is the difference between a violin and a viola?  The viola burns longer!

#5 of 9 by albaugh on Wed Mar 29 00:30:19 2006:

Those who sing, do.
Those who cannot are given an instrument to play.
Those who cannot are given 2 sticks to beat drums with.
Those who cannot have one stick taken away and step on the podium.

#6 of 9 by kingjon on Wed Mar 29 00:55:49 2006:

How high can a conductor count?

One. "Let's go over this just *one* more time ..."

#7 of 9 by nharmon on Wed Mar 29 01:48:45 2006:

I can't dance, and I can't talk...Only thing about me is way that I walk...

#8 of 9 by cyklone on Wed Mar 29 03:40:37 2006:

How do you know when the drum riser is level?
The drool comes out BOTH sides of the drummer's mouth!

#9 of 9 by happyboy on Wed Mar 29 21:53:27 2006:

substitute stage for drum riser and banjoist for drummer.

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