How does one teach a 17 year old to cook, who knows nothing except how to make
'spaghetti from a can' (canned sauce, not canned spaghetti, we asked.)  He
has been visiting us once a week or so, sometimes having to cancel at the last
minute, and is free from 3:30 to 6:00.  We cook vegan, unrefined foods, but
could do variants of more traditional stuff if he wanted.  So far we made
sour-dough rye bread (we put is someplace cold to rise for three days, and
when he returned aftera week is was only three days old).  Pizza (we made the
crust in advance).  Bagels (managed it all, including grinding flour, in 2.5
hours).  We had planned apple pie for Saturday, he could not come, and today
he did not show up as expected.  The hours are out of his control.  We did
bagels and pizza because he remembered making them with us when he was 5. 
Oatmeal is not all that exciting.  What are the basic techniques that a
teenager ought to know in order to be able to survive in college without
having to resort to McDonalds or frozen TV dinners?

42 responses total.

I'll assume that you mean "in college living in an apartment" - not a dorm.
He should know basic food planning, preparation, shopping, and sanitation.
(Budgeting would be nice too - good luck if you want to try.)  

While fun & interesting, many of the foods you named don't sound too
practical for a hurrying-through-his-day-and-short-on-time college 
student to make and eat on a day-to-day basis.  (How motivated is he
to learn skills he'll need?)

Is he vegetarian?  Unless "yes" and he's pretty committed, he'll be eating
(& hopefully cooking) meat in college.  Getting one pork chop, enough
ground chuck to make one hamburger, etc. is easy at a *real* meat shop
(so you can eat veggie while he eats omni) and he'd better know to handle
meat (espec. the sanitation issues!).

Get him doing everything with his own two hands as quick as possible.  
Focus on building a repetoire of quick, simple, healthy, and economical
dishes that he can comfortably make without consulting a recipe or paying 
very close attention.  PB & J sandwiches.  Tuna salad sandwiches.  Simple
stove-top meats & veggies.  Baked potatoes.  Carrot salad.  Whatever's-
at-hand casseroles.  Eggs.  Get him shopping out of his own pocket (even
if you put the $5 in there) in a variety of grocery stores.
<set preach=off>  :)  

We can't get him shopping out of his own pocket because he does not live here
or eat here, and there is not really enough time to go to a store with him.
And we are not going to teach him to cook things that we would not eat.  What
we have made so far was at his request.  There is some chance he could live
with us for a couple of years after graduating high school, and learn to cook
then, but in the meantime we have to think of things that are fun to cook,
to get him interested.  If he really wants to cook meat, he can do that at
home, excpet his mother does not seem to want him to cook.  When she is sick
she sends him to McDonalds.  Just in case he does not live with us at all,
what sorts of basics (vegan) should we be teaching him that can be cooked in
no more than 2 and a half hours?  I would start with pressure-cooking rice,
and how to peel and onion or scrape a carrot, maybe boil oatmeal, how to soak
beans and cook them, I guess.  Problem is, we have to plan ahead, but we never
know if he will show up as planned.  Not under his control.  Good idea about
taking him shopping, but we shop at farmer's market and they close before he
can come over.  I suppose the local food store will do.  He is trying very
hard to get used to our world, probably harder than we would try to teach him
how to cook stuff we don't cook ourselves.  He ate everything except the
mustard greens, so far.  And is willing to help dig the garden and plant it.
So far we have done bread stuff, since he had learned that once when younger.
Walter, your advice will probably be helpful for nonvegan parents.  I have
no objection to continuing on the subject of how to teach kids to cook
nonvegetarian in this item before sending them out in the wide world.

One option would be to sit him down with some good, vegan, cookbooks and let
him pick the recipes to try.  That gives him some practice at meal planning
and at reading cookbooks, and it lets him start with things he feels confident
he can do, gradually branching out into the less familiar ingredients and
cooking techniques as he feels ready to try them.  It sounds like there often
isn't time for both shopping and cooking, but that's okay if you either have
a variety of ingredients on-hand that he can use in the recipe, or if you're
willing to have him pick out recipes the first week and do the cooking the
following week (if he's there).  As long as he isn't picking things that are
too gross, if he doesn't show up you could always use the ingredients for
something else and then buy them again for the next week's possible visit.

Good idea, I will see if the library's only vegan cookbook has been returned
yet, or see what is in our other cookbooks.  We generally don't cook anything
from recipes, but it will give him some idea of what is possible.  I don't
know if he knows any cooking techniques at all, but he is good with his hands.
We can start with rice, potatoes, onions, beans, let him pick some recipe and
show him the basics.  (He knows how to open cans but we don't use them).

How have parents taught their kids to cook?

I didn't.  He seems to be picking it up on his own on a
need-to-know basis.  He is asking more questions lately
about how some of his favorite things are prepared, but
mostly he'll learn by trial and error and experimentation.

   how about soup?  once the basic ideas are grasped, making soup is
fairly easy.  besides, taking the time on a day off to make a biggish
pot of soup can make healthy eating through the rest of the week fairly
convenient, if a little repetitive.  fried rice?  stir-fry dishes? 

All good ideas, we have lots of vegetables that we froze that we can put in
soup or stir-fry (but I will check another item to find out how to make fried
rice that does not stick).  Bread and soup are good together.

Re cookbooks: The Friends of the Ann Arbor District Library booksale has a
huge variety of cookbooks, mostly for 50 cents to a dollar, available each
weekend during the school year.  Since their books are donated to them, the
variety varies from week to week, but there's almost always something
interesting in the cookbook section.

Mary?  Just curious: did you try to teach Carlos to cook and he wasn't
interested?

Nope.  He only exposure to cooking was waltzing through the
kitchen on his way in or out.  I didn't attempt to teach him anything.  If
he would have shown an interest I would have gladly shared
my enthusiasm.  But he didn't.  

So it is kind of funny when he came home from college a year
ago announcing he had a new job (part-time) lined up for
the fall.  He was going to be a cook for dormitory food
service.  Not just a cook but some mid-level specialty 
type cook.  He'd be needing to start his job a couple
of weeks before school started, he said.

Well, okay, I said, but did you tell them the only thing
you've ever prepared is Stouffer's mac & cheese, in the
microwave, and even that was iffy?

It'll be all right, mom.  Don't worry.  The reason I start
two weeks early is to learn to cook.

And you know what, he's doing just fine.  Loves his job
and he is starting to show interest in how I do things
in the kitchen.

He's not easily intimidated by the unknown. We may also
be getting some insight into why dorm food is so unique.

Heh.  Because they hire inexperienced cooks, you mean?

When I had to take cooking in junior high school, 35 years ago, the 
teacher was mostly concerned that we learn 
1. to wash our hands often
2. how to understand a recipe
3. how to measure accurately.
Most of the particular things we cooked I didn't like, or wouldn't have
cooked for myself, but the theory seems sound.  Even if you don't follow
other people's recipes exactly, they can be a great resource if
you know what they mean. 

<and remember, there is no such thing as
"too much garlic" or "too many onions"  :-)

 Exactly. Same goes for the concept of "too much pizza"

(or too much chocolate)

<i never realized that choco-garlic-onion pizza was all the rage.  What
will them young folk be doing next???>

Possibly they are three different pizzas?

My method for "teaching" cooking was haphazard and somewhat hazardous.  ;)
When I didn't feel well, which a few years ago was often, I'd turn to one of
the kids and say "it's your turn.  There's some xyz in the pantry; I usually
prepare it by <pick a method>."  

Then I'd turn my back or take a nap while they messed up my kitchen.  At first
they were sure they didn't need advice and some of the results were atrocious
- but we ate it.  After a while they started watching when I cooked and aftyer
a while longer they started coming up with some really and truly creative and
delicious ideas.

It wouldn't work outside the family, of course, and someone with a stronger
sense of what's edible than I have migt be mortified -- but it worked for us.

Jim's son hopes to be free on weekends soon, so maybe we can plan on cooking
lunch together then.  He is willing to help dig up the garden and plant
things, we can really start from scratch.  What sorts of things would you
suggest for a first vegetable garden for a 17 year old?  Other than tomato
plants?

Stuff he likes to eat.  Carrots, radishes, greens, or something else that
can be harvested well before fall.  

Radished are excellent because they don't require much work or patience.  ;)

Other than that, what he like to eat would be best.

Radishes are the only vegetable JIm will not eat.  David was willing to eat
mustard greens (I got it wrong, he did not want any squash) and you can cook
radish greens the same way, but mustard greens taste better.  Carrots will
not grow in my garden, they need full sun and sandy soil.  I have clay and
shade, except for a bit of sun at the front for tomatoes.  I will ask David
for ideas, and also plant mustard greens.  Thanks.  Have other people's kids
enjoyed gardening?

You could try some snow peas, they prefer cool weather and your shade might
be perfect for them.

Jim's son did not come at 6:30 to help make supper last week, he called at
6:30 to apologize that he had to go to a restaurant with his mother.  Now he
hopes to be able to come earlier tomorrow, and we will cook millet and
lentils, and maybe get some digging done in the garden (it is getting a bit
late to grow peas but we can watch the vines come up, at least).
It is a little hard to plan these things when they get cancelled so often.
Maybe a year from now when he turns 18 he will have some control over things.

He was going to come by today at 4 to help dig the garden, but when I checked
e-mail at 3 he had e-mailed this morning to say his mother would not let him
come today (apparently he arranged this with us without first asking for
permission, which he probably would not have gotten anyway), he had to go rent
a tuxedo for the prom instead.  Maybe next Saturday.  Perhaps he will have
more free time by the end of May and we can plant tomatoes instead of peas.
We had shopped for some interesting things to cook, as usual.  This is getting
fairly predictable.

We are scheduled for next Saturday and will dig the garden if no rain.

I received e-mail from my 21 year old son the other day asking if I'd go
shopping with him.  He wants a stockpot, a wok, some wooden spoons, and a
cookbook.  I'd had hints that this was coming so I've been looking around
for cookbooks aimed at the creative but inexperienced college-age cook. 
I'm particularly fond of "Help, My Apartment Has a Kitchen", by Kevin
Mills.  Amazon.com is sending it out. 

I think I'm going to donate some pot holders to a good cause.

  You are such a good mother, Mary. There should be more like you.

That is so cool, Mary!

Kiwanis usually has several woks and lots of wooden spoons, and probably
a cookbook collection.
        Today Jim's son came over for the day but had to leave in three
hours since his mother scheduled something else.  We just had time to
dig the garden (under the noonday sun, of course) and will plant the tomatoes
tonight without him.  It is a start.  He hopes to spend all of next
weekend with us, but it is never u nder his control.

Woks, eh?  (scott adds "woks" to his Kiwanis list)

Kiwanis has (nearly) everything, just not all at the same time, and usually
not within 5 years of the date of manufacture (except for computer games,
which I just learned were 'old' within 3 years.  I must be an antique myself).
The tomatoes are not quite planted, Jim had some grand plans about removing
the top layer of soil and wheelbarrowing it to the top of the garden slope
and replacing it with compost.  I watered them, they were very droopy.  We
felt pretty droopy too, after 2 hours in the sun.

We'll be able to pretty much outfit a starter kitchen by
cleaning out his grandfather's cupboards.  He needed the
wok, like, yesterday, so that was purchased.  But
thanks for the tip, Cynthia.  

My son still wears a Value Village suit he bought himself
when a sophomore in high school.  I'll be sure to tell him
about Kiwanis.

Tell him to come say hello to us in electronics and check out the stereos.

Last Saturday afternoon John and I had the pleasure of
taking our son shopping for a few kitchen supplies and
groceries.  He left Kroger's with some of the usual
staples he's always enjoyed but a new theme seems to
be developing - wok grazing.  He has found stir-frying
and is jumping in with jalapeno peppers, asparagus and
tofu.  This from a child who wouldn't eat ketchup on 
his burger and simply didn't do vegetables straight-up,
at all, no way, no how.

So now he's into philosophy, being a jazz disk jockey,
longer hair, Birkies, and stir-frying bananas.   

(Mom smiles.)

How do you stir-fry a banana without the sugar sticking?

(I knew I was my father's son today when I found myself thinking of making
a burrito with beans, blue cheese, and seaweed.  ;)  )

We put seaweed in with the green beans today, must be an epidemic.

re #34: sounds like Carlos is growing up. :)

I suppose that's possible.  But I'm still thinking aliens have
arrived and are using his body.  ;-)

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