I think this qualifies.  From the Wednesday, October 14th Freep:

          ** Broccoli Castlerole **

  Nonstick vegetable cooking spray
  10 or 12 White Castle hamburgers
  40 ounces chopped frozen broccoli, cooked
  1 32-ounce box Velveeta cheese, melted
  1 stack (35) Ritz crackers
  1/4 cup butter or margarine

 Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spray a 9-by-13 inch casserole
with vegetable cooking spray.  Place hamburgers side by side in
prepared casserole.  Layer cooked broccoli over hamburgers.  Pour
melted cheese over broccoli.  In a food processor or blender, crush
crackers with butter.  Sprinkle over top of casserole.  Bake 30
minutes or until topping starts to brown.  Serves 6 to 8.

 To order a free booklet of winning White Castle recipes, call
1-800-852-7583.  Bon Appetit.

59 responses total.

I not only think that recipe qualifies, it could win a prize.  Although, I
once made a tuna-green jello concoction (with tiny peas no less) that was
so awful, even my new and eager husband (at that time) suggested we throw it
down the toilet (which we did).  Some of the bread and muffin recipes in
the Ann Arbor News Wednesday Food section -especially the ones that are
supposed to be "good for you" come a close third.

 who do you throw it at? 

  I have heard of a white castle turkey stuffing.

Did you know that White Castle hamburgers are relatively low in fat?
That's because the meat is such a tiny slab, and the bread is quite
large in comparison.  Anyway, I read that recipe in the paper, Mary,
and had a reaction almost identical to yours.

Does anyone know the recipe for Mock Apple Pie, using Ritz crackers?
I'd really like to see it sometime.

eeeeewwwwwwwww

 from what I hear, those are pretty good. I'll look around the house
for the recipe. 

  I'll send one to mythago for her birthday!!!

re #0 omigod!  :-o

re #1: my mom used to make an aspic (i think that's what it was called)
with green jello and tuna.  my sister and i used to run screaming from
that.  it looked sort of like vomit trapped in green amber.  yucch!
the only redeeming feature it had was that mom could mold it into really
neat shapes.

This is from a cookbook i bought at the friends of the public library
sale today.  i post it because of its title, not because i've actually
tried cooking it.

Eggs In Hell

Heat
        3 Tbsp. oil
Saute therein a few minutes:
        1 - 3 cloves garlic, minced
        1 onion, chopped
        1 hot dry red pepper, chopped
Add
        1 can of tomatoes and juice
Season with
        chili powder, parsley, bay leaf, sea salt, pepper
        1 Tsp. - 1 Tbsp. honey
        a little juice from canned jalapenos (optional)
Cook down the sauce over medium high heat for ten-fifteen minutes.
Then drop into the simmering sauce
        6 - 10 eggs
Spoon sauce over eggs a little.  Don't stir - these eggs do not get
                scrambled but poach in this sauce.  Cover tightly and
                let steam about eight minutes.
Serve steaming hot over brown rice.


The cookbook goes on to list some variations.

The name of the cookbook is _Almonds to Zoybeans_ by Mothey Parsons.
I'd guess it might be out of print.

  That actually sounds pretty good..

it's a vegetarian cookbook, mike!
<popcorn faints>

  (I get the impression that Valerie thinks I won't eat anything
   unless it has strips of charred flesh hanging off the sides..)

<valerie nods solemnly>

From the Freep, sometime within the past week or so:

Good cooks have plenty of cookbooks.  Now bad cooks have their own
volume of horrible, yet real recipes, in "The Worst Cookbook in America"
by Mike Nelson.  Its hideous concoctions include Weiner Water (boil
weiners in water, throw away the weiners, then pour water into bowls
and serve.)  Lung Stew ("This dish was served in our convent many years
ago.  I've never forgotten it," wrote its contributor), liver cheesecake,
castor oil cookies and Czechoslovakian brain pancakes.  Nelson, of 
Minneapolis, swears these are all genuine recipes he collected over 
10 years.  My advice to you is:  Do not buy this book for its pig's
ear salad.  But if you're not feeling well and need to laugh your 
way to health, this is side-splittingly funny.  Not available
in stores; send $9.95 to Box 580075, Minneapolis, Minn.  55458

Sounds like a cookbook from Hell if there ever was one.

  Yeah, I read that blurb..  I wonder if it has a decent recipe for lutefisk..

What is lutefisk?

If you don't know, don't ask!   Really!  :)

Cod mixed with lye?

  something like that, apparently..  traditional Scandinavian (predominantly
Norwegian, some Swedes deny responsibility) dish that is the stuff of legend
in alt.folklore.urban..  Dried cod (stokfish) soaked in lye, then soaked
in water..  Supposedly ends up with a jello-like consistency (which is pretty
disturbing behavior for something that starts as dried fish..)

That sounds like what my ex mother-in-law described! She's Swedish...but I
was sure she was yanking my lower extremity.  She says it's a real
traditional x-mas favorite...but, she says, you *must* have an experienced
cook because if you miss any of the lye it can be fatal.


(eowww!)

This is from the Detroit Edison newsletter that comes with the
electric bill.  The recipe is a winning recipe submitted by Olga
Bolla of Lincoln Park, who got a $50 electric-bill credit for it.

Mock Coconut Cream Pie
------------------------
1/2 cup biscuit mix
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Egg substitute to equal 4 eggs
2 cups skimmed milk
1 teaspoon coconut flavoring
1/2 teaspoon vanilla flavoring
1-1/2 cups spaghetti squash (cooked)
3 tablespoons light margarine, melted.

Blend ingredients -- except squash -- for one minute.  Fold
in the squash.  Pour into a 9-inch pie pan sprayed with a
non-stick cooking spray.  Bake at 350 degrees Farenheit for
60 to 65 minutes, until sides become lightly brown.
Serves 6.

What'd I tell you about Downriver.

  I saw THAT onlast weeks Free Press Cooking page...

 shows ya what They know about cooking...

of course there is this mock apple pie made with Ritz crackers that we
could force on Laurel....

argh!

Death first!

Hmmm...found this on Usenet today, haven't tried it but if I were a cop
I might think this was from hell...who knows?  It might actually work.
 
        AMES, Iowa (UPI) -- Forget all the jokes about police officers and
doughnuts. Iowa State University researchers say they have developed a
version of the tempting pastry that has significantly lower levels of
fat without sacrificing texture or flavor.
        Past efforts to produce good-for-you doughnuts using special flours
or different cooking techniques have failed. Doughnuts made with soybean
flour, had a coarse, beany flavor, Lester A. Wilson, ISU professor of
Food Science and Human Nutrition, said Thursday.
        The new recipe calls for dry soymilk to replace non-fat powdered milk
found in many commercial doughnut recipes.
        ``These doughnuts have the same flavor and textural characteristics
as regular non-soy doughnuts,'' Wilson said.
        Wilson said soymilk absorbs less oil during the deep-fat frying
process than non-fat milk used in conventional recipes.
        As an added bonus, the soymilk doughnuts seem to stay fresh longer
than conventional pastries.
        The research was funded by the Iowa Soybean Promotion Board as part
of its ongoing support of soybean research at Iowa State.
                               ------
        The recipe:
 4 beaten eggs
2/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup fluid 2 percent cow's milk
1/3 cup dry soymilk powder
1/3 cup shortening, melted and cooled
3 1/4 cup sifted flour
3 tablespoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
        Beat eggs and sugar until light. Add milk and cooled shortening. Add
sifted dry ingredients. Mix until smooth and chill. Roll 3/8 inch thick
on a lightly floured surface. Add extra flour as needed when rolling out
so dough to avoid stickness. Cut with a doughnut cutter and let stand 15
minutes. Fry in deep, hot fat at 375 degrees until brown, turning once.
Makes 2 dozen doughnuts. 

What type of fat? Or what kind of oil, or how much difference does
it make? 

   Oh gads.  If they're more shelf stable, you'd better bet that they'll
show up *everywhere* within two years.
   I don't understand about shortening.  I thought things like Crisco were
shortening, and as such, a solid.  Or does the receipe incourage people to
play with their food?

shortening = Crisco = solid at room temperature

Didja know that shortening is found only in America and not anyplace
else in the world?

Maybe so, but I would guess elsewhere people use lard or other
animal-based "shortenings."

(In the rest of the world, people have a longing for shortening...)

Export business in the making?

{ KFC , where I used to work used shortening in 50 pound cubes, one every
  couple of days. now, back to your regular item. }

I just discovered a surprisingly nasty food: vanilla extract!  It's great
in recipes, and I love the smell, but boy, don't ever lick off the measuring
spoon...yeccchh!!  (I wonder why it's taken me this long to try it?)

<giggle>  I like the stuff, and *do* lick off the measuring spoon.  It's
good for the same reasons bourbon is good (if you think bourbon is good),
and not for the same reasons cookie dough is good.

it depends....was it fake vanilla or real vanilla?  and the expensive stuff
is VEWRY good....:)

It was real, pure vanilla extract.  Maybe I need to pay more for it....

I found this in the October 1996 "Bright Ideas" newsletter from Detroit
Edison.  This newsletter is a surprisingly good source of recipes from hell.
Hey, doesn't cooking Nutrasweet either nuke its sweetness or turn it into
toxic byproducts, or something like that?


Eleanor LaJoye of Royal Oak

Tuna Barbecue
-------------
12-ounce canned tuna in water, drained
3 cups tomato juice
1 medium green pepper, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
2 tablespoons Worchester[sic] Sauce
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
3 celery ribs, chopped
2 packages artificial sweeteners            <----(eeew!  -Valerie)
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/8 teaspoon of hot sauce (optional)
3 tablespoons of vinegar
8 sandwich buns

Combine all ingredients in saucepan.  Cook uncovered over medium heat for at
least one hour, or until the mixture thickens.  Spread on sandwich buns. 
Great for tailgate parties!  Serves six to eight.

evil

   ew ick yuck blech ptooey.

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