Have you ever felt that thier is no one out there for you?

I mean, every single girl I liked I always find out is on drugs or something.
I want someone who is clean from drugs. But... no. 

I know I haven't had enough time to look, but I feel like I'm the only one
in the world who's never even touched any of it.

There was this girl in school that I've liked for four years now. I never
really talked to her much.. but I knew that I liked her because you get that
wierd feeling in your stomach whenever you see her. I still get that, for
crying out loud!

Then, just today (mar. 10) one of my friend's told me that she smokes. I know
it's not much to you guys, but it is to me. Now I'm sitting here with mixed
feelings. I still like her, but then again, I don't like her anymore. Whenever
I see her, I'll probably still get that same love feeling, but I've almost
completely lost my respect for her. Now I pretty much only want to go out with
her for her looks, and not for the real her.

I don't know, maybe she does more than just smoke. I hope not. But if for some
reason we do go out someday, I still hope I can help her. Maybe not. Maybe
I picked the wrong person to like. But I don't want to loose her, even though
she hardly knows my name. 

Can anyone here relate to this? For god's sake, email me!! 

Sorry for the length of this letter, by the way.

2 responses total.

I suppose the best thing to keep in mind here is that you're still young and
have lots of time, even though it may not always feel that way.

As for liking someone who smokes, or whatever, I suppose it really depends
on the circumstances.  If you were to sit down and design the "perfect woman"
for you, you would probably never find somebody who exactly met your
specifications.  On the other hand, as you go through life you will probably
meet lots of wonderful people, none of them exactly what you expected or what
you were looking for, but some wonderful people none the less.  If you meet
a wonderful person with only one little thing you don't like about them,
you're pretty lucky.  I've certainly pushed away a lot of great people because
of little things about them that didn't meet my standards, and looking back
on it I regret a lot of that.

Then there's the question of whether smoking is a "little thing."  That's
something you'll have to figure out.  How much does it bother you, and why?
If you think it really is something you couldn't get past, then you probably
shouldn't get involved with a smoker.  Remember, though, even if you have
friends who are smoking, it doesn't mean you have to.  You're still at the
age, I think, where the people who are smoking now think it's cool.  In a few
years they'll be talking about how much they'd like to quit, but generally
deciding it's way too difficult.

Of course, since you say you don't know anything about her, and she barely
knows who you are, it doesn't sound like anything is going to happen soon.
You may want to try to get to know her better, as a friend.  Once you know
something about eachother you'll probably be in a much better position to
decide how you feel, and she will be in a much better position to decide how
she feels about you.

One final thing: going out with somebody to try to "help them" doesn't work
if the person doesn't want to be helped.  If you can't accept somebody as they
are, you won't have much of a relationship.  That's probably a very good thing
to understand going into these things, although I think I learned it the hard
way.

Your probably right. I wish I could get to know her better though. SHe's not
in any of my classes, and I can't just walk up to her and say, "Hi. I'm Adam.
Want to talk?" WHo knows.. maybe next year she'll be in my class. And I'll
make it a point to sit by her.

Also, thanks for the advice. You don't know how much of a help you really
are.

--Adam

Response not possible - You must register and login before posting.

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss