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Grex Homme Item 59: Disadvantages of being a man
Entered by keesan on Fri Jul 2 14:02:14 UTC 1999:

Are there things you do not like about being male?  Both physical and
cultural, such as being expected to shave, or the greater chance of having
to go to war, or not being allowed to be emotional, or having little chance
of getting custody of your children.  Let's see if this item draws more or
less responses than a similar one for women.

16 responses total.



#1 of 16 by i on Fri Jul 2 20:53:51 1999:

Really screwed up hair.  Up top (of my head), it would be nice to have
a dense growth of decent hair for protection & insulation.  Sorry, i've
got patchy growth of yucky thin spider-webby stuff.  My wish-i-could-
transplant-it-up-top facial hair is heavy, thick, dark, and curly.  It
would look like a pasted-on fake beard if i didn't shave daily, and the
skin underneath would break out.  Even shaving twice a day won't make
me look clean-shaven.  The thick blond stuff on my torso & limbs stays
constant length the same way a dog's hair does - by shedding all the
time.  It offers none of the warmth or protection that a dog enjoys,
but mandates regular vaccuuming of the bathroom floor. 


#2 of 16 by scott on Sat Jul 3 02:51:11 1999:

Being a suspect in certain situations.  I hate walking down the street at
night and being viewed as a possible rapist.

Shaving is a pain, too.  But I'd guess that it more or less balances with leg
shaving in women, so not really an issue.


#3 of 16 by keesan on Sat Jul 3 14:52:52 1999:

Neither is required.  Why not grow a beard?
Black males are even more suspect.  I make it a point to say hello to any when
I am walking somewhere.   It is much more acceptable for women to say hello
to strangers.  When Jim and I go travelling and need a yard to camp in, I am
always the one sent to the door to ask.


#4 of 16 by i on Sat Jul 3 15:35:40 1999:

My light, oily skin rebels under my heavy, thick, curly beard and breaks
out....it's definitely worse than shaving.  The beard is also too hot
about 48 weeks of the year.


#5 of 16 by orinoco on Sun Jul 4 17:20:02 1999:

I agree with Scott about being a suspect - I doubt I broadcast 'possible
rapist' as strongly as some people do, but it still bothers me.  
I hadn't thought about keesan's point that it's more acceptable for women to
say hello, but it seems like it's probably true.  It bothers me that I can't
strike up a conversation with a woman without looking like I'm hitting on her.
Then again, maybe women feel the same way in the opposite situation.
Shaving doesn't really bother me much.  I have pretty sparse, pretty light
facial hair, so I tend to shave pretty rarely.

A lot of the common cultural problems with being male - not being 'allowed'
to show one's emotions, or whatever - don't bother me very much.  Maybe it's
just the people I tend to be around, but my two most emotionally open friends
are male, and most of my friends just take it for granted that the ideal of
the 'strong, silent man' is pretty ridiculous.


#6 of 16 by gypsi on Mon Jul 5 06:32:05 1999:

For the record, I'd be more afraid of Scott at night than Dan.  ;-)  That's
terrible since "suspects" can look like anything, but Scott has that looming
quality about him.   Heh...


#7 of 16 by pope on Sun Jul 18 19:18:14 1999:

Limited clothing choice is a definite disadvantage. Too bad about that.


#8 of 16 by mta on Fri Dec 31 21:40:05 1999:

Actually, the limited clothing choices is changing.  My husband is a much more
colourful dresser than I am these days.


#9 of 16 by orinoco on Sun Jan 2 22:39:37 2000:

Dress clothing, or casual?  It's men's dress clothing that strikes me as
especially drab.


#10 of 16 by i on Mon Jan 3 00:25:12 2000:

Really drab, uniform, etc.  My impression is that this is a great blessing
for non-rich men in must-dress-up jobs - they can get by fine with just two
outfits (suit/pants/shirt/shoes/tie) and a few extra (relatively cheap)
shirts & ties.  Dressing up daily must cost women lease-a-Mercedes-class
bucks.

I'm pretty uninterested in clothing, so my casual dress is pretty drab,
uniform, etc.


#11 of 16 by mta on Mon Jan 3 03:52:45 2000:

Well, in part you're looking in the wrong place if your impression of mens
dress clothing is uniformly drab -- but on the other hand, outside of major
metropilises (is that a word?) I don't know how well an International Male
suit in red velvet would go over in the office.  ;)


#12 of 16 by scg on Mon Jan 3 04:30:19 2000:

Metropoli, I would assume.


#13 of 16 by mta on Mon Jan 3 14:45:16 2000:

That looks right.  Metropoli.


#14 of 16 by orinoco on Tue Jan 4 19:54:48 2000:

Heh.  Okay, drab might have been the wrong word, but yeah, the lack of red
velvet is something along the lines of what I was talking about.  I mean, not
that I'm lusting after a red velvet suit in particular....actually, I think
the idea sounds rather repulsive.  Maybe it's for the best....


#15 of 16 by scott on Tue Jan 4 22:08:16 2000:

Beyond color is style, though.  While men's suit-based fashion seems to limit
itself to things like lapel and tie width changes, women have all sorts of
changes going on.  Imagine if this year men were suddenly wearing elegantly
tailored shorts, then next year huge baggy pants?


#16 of 16 by mta on Wed Jan 5 00:16:29 2000:

Umm, those dramatic differences are only a little far-fetched from what I've
seen in some "cutting edge" fashion catalogs for men.

I have yet to see a business suit based on shorts, elegantly tailored or
otherwise for men -- but I have seen all kinds of variation in cut and colour
and fabric.  I even saw a translucent business suit recently.  

Somehow I doubt that would fly at a bank -- yet.  ;)

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