Grex Homme Conference

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Grex Homme Item 58: Sex in the media and the Modern Male
Entered by lumen on Sat Jan 9 22:52:51 UTC 1999:

We talked about this briefly in the sexuality/cflirt cf.  Why do some women
have such a double standard about porn?  By comparison, women's romance novels
have been equally explicit (although my wife tells me that a fading trend)
and I know women love erotic stories.

In general, it has been explained that women are drawn to sexual material in
print, while men tend to favor sexual material in pictures.  However, I think
that's too broad a generalization.  Both genders to some degree enjoy erotic
stories on tape, although that seems to have been a passing trend, too.  From
my observations, men seem to rush when storytelling, and the details tend to
be much more obvious and graphic.  Is this true?  Is porn just an obvious and
easy target for complaint?  Does it have anything to do with the fact that
reading about or viewing sexual acts is still a guilty sin for women, but is
almost assumed for men?

5 responses total.

#1 of 5 by iggy on Wed Jan 27 15:41:17 1999:

i'd read the romance novel once in a while, but the
sex scenes were just silly.
' he thrust his manly sword into her womanly sheath'
'he devoured her woman-ness with his hungry man-bone'
or other ridiculous crap like that.

#2 of 5 by md on Wed Jan 27 19:53:08 1999:

A good enactment of the differences between men and women
on this subject took place in the "yada yada" Seinfeld episode.
Elaine says, "I met this lawyer, he took me to a nice restaurant,
I ordered the lobster bisque, we went back to his place, yada
yada, I never saw him again."  "But you yada-yada'd over the
best part!" protests Jerry.  Elaine replies, with exquisite
bitchiness, "I mentioned the bisque."

#3 of 5 by clees on Mon Feb 8 11:47:48 1999:

Funny is that for a third party (spectator/reader) other things but 
sexual are much less interesting as for the parties participating in 
them. 
"Welle welle welle huh"
"Tell me more tell me more, did you get very far?"
(Grease 1978)
Describes this very well.
Jerry is frustrated because Elain doesn't tell him the juicy parts.
So, instead of picturing witty and lively conversation between two 
people courting each other the narrator/filmer/scriopt writer skips that
 part and switches over to parts the audience can more easily identify 
with: the act. From my own experience I have always regarded the corting
part much more  interesting and exiting than the actual following sex.
(Spiritually and  after all, more lasting). The so-called double
standards aren't that double when you take into  account that women
approach the matter in a different, more complex way. The whole picture
and storyline are more important than the actual acts  performed (what I
understood, at least), while for men the storyline is  less important.
This, in a way, is also illustrated by the manner in kiss and tell 
between the sexes. Men just boast they had another wild night without
getting deeper into  the whats and hows, while women (if they dare to
talk about it, that is)  are more interested in the finer details, like
if he was considerate, if  he could satisfy her, his stamina etc.

#4 of 5 by md on Mon Feb 8 14:51:54 1999:

[In the "yada-yada" Seinfeld episode, one of the characters says he's
afraid his new girlfriend is cheating on him.  She uses the phrase "yada-
yada" to elide over subjects she'd rather not be specific about, and she
recently did so about an encounter with another man.  "She wouldn't 'yada-
yada' over *sex*, would she?" he asks.  Elaine calmly says, "I've yada-
yada-ed over sex."  "Oh yeah?" says Jerry; "give us an example."  Then
the exchange related in response #2 takes place.  In other words, Elaine
was definitely yada-yada-ing over sex, not witty and lively conversation.]

#5 of 5 by md on Mon Feb 8 14:54:02 1999:

[. . . and, of course, "I mentioned the bisque" is Elaine's way of saying the 
lawyer wasn't so hot in bed.]

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