Well, my dad died a few weeks ago of a stroke, and then my mom-in-law 
had a massive but non-fatal stroke on Sunday.

I guess it's time for me to learn about strokes...

I've been web browsing and have leaned that there are two types of 
strokes.  One is caused by bleeding in the brain, often from a ruptured 
anyrism. (That's the kind that killed my dad.)  The other is caused by a 
blood clot getting loose in the circulatory system, ending up in the 
brain where it gets stuck in a blood vessel too narrow for it to pass 
and it cuts off the blood supply to a part of the brain.  (That's the 
kind that Nancy has just suffered.)

The damage the stroke leaves behind is caused by the death of brain 
cells, and can vary wildly depending on the extent of the damage and 
exactly where the damage is.  In Nancy's case, the stroke was to the 
right side of her brain; her "mind" is fine, but her left side suffered 
complete paralysis.  The prognosis of recovery (or even survival) from a 
stroke seems to be something best determined with a chrystal ball.  
Doctors don't seem to have any idea what will happen until it happens or 
how long it will take -- though once progress begins, they have some 
idea what various kinds of things portend.

The only "timeline" we've been given is that Nancy should stay in 
physical therapy until there has been no new progress for six months.  
At that point, it seems, the recovery is as complete as it's going to 
be.

So, that's the clinical stuff, as I understand it from what I've read.
Has anyone here suffered a stroke?  Treated stroke victims?  Nursed a 
loved one through a stroke?

My Mom-in-law isn't being very forthcoming about how she's feeling and I 
haven't much of an idea how best to help beyond feeding her, watching to 
see that the nursing staff is alerted when she needs something I can't 
provide, and just chatting with her.  

Suggestions, more information, and  resources are all the reasons I 
entered this item...  

Thanks.

5 responses total.

I know that if nerve cells (which is what the brain consists of) cannot
divide, so that if you lose some they are gone forever, unlike skin.  But the
ones that are still allive can grow new connections eventually, and take over
some of the tasks of the ones that died.  This is why recovery from a stroke
takes a while, cells grow slowly.  YOu have to keep using your body in order
for the nervous system to regrow properly, which is why the therapy.  And you
need practice doing things differently, just as if you had to learn to write
left handed instead of write handed.  I expect it will be frustrating and
Nancy will appreciate a lot of encouragement.  She is lucky to have you all.
Please correct me if I am in error in any of this.

Thanks almost what the doctors have said -- except that they said that any
functionality that isn'r beginning to show up in two weeks isn't going to
happen.

They also told me that the damage seems to cover the entire left side of her
cerebral cortex and they are now not predicting that she'll ever be able to
get around on her own or get motion back on her left side.

I wish I knew *anything* about helping people through something like this --
but my relatives tend to just die. >splat<  So I've enver really bee around
anything like this before.

Interestingly, I was expecting to be a little squeamish about how Nancy would
look to me and about handling her body for her and instead I see nancy and
handling her paralyzed body seems like the most natural thing in the world.
That's a relief.  I am loathe to move her in ways I'm afraid might either
cause her pain or worse do her actual harm -- but I suspect that with some
training so I know what I'm doing, I'll be able to handle it.

I think it helps immensely that the woman I love is very much there, though
her body is less able than it once was.  I was having real trouble with it
when she was confused and disoriented and wandering off into delusions.

Given a choice I would rather function without a couple of limbs than without
half my mind.  (Both my mother and Jim's mother spent several years without
a memory, it was pretty hard on everyone).  Jim says his mother was not hard
on anyone because her old habits were still in place.  Nancy will just have
to use her intelligence to learn new habits, sounds like she will manage. 
There have been lots of other people in her situation, and there are lots of
aids to the less mobile.  Nancy is pretty lucky to have so much support.

I suppose that's true, Sindi.  Maybe it'll feel that way later.  Right now
we are all having hard time seeing much that's lucky in all this.

(I agree, though, that given my druthers, I'd rather do without my body than
my brain.)

Are there other people in similar situations who you could talk to?  I think
the Observer annual issue lists support groups for stroke recoverees.
Can Nancy view the changes she will have to make as a challenge?  My mother
got really involved in a support group for kidney dialysis patients when my
father was ill, and also found it a challenge to find ways to get around when
she had mobility problems.  Nancy's attitude sounds really good.

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