I know this is out of context, but all the to do in item 37 (i think) has made
me curious.  

How many people in this cf have a phobia that they are aware of?
If you have one and are interested in sharing it, this is the place to do so.

Example:  bookworm-I have been afraid of lots of things, among them darkness,
bees, loneliness, fear, insects, spiders, heights, and trying new things.

Just for reference sake:
PHOBIA: (FOE be ah) n.  an unreasoning fear or hatred of any given subject.
(btw.  unreasoning means you don't know why you're afraid of or hate the
subject.)

Any comments are welcome.  Confessions of personal phobias are welcomed but
not necessary.             --Julie

62 responses total.

It should be noted that the clinical use of the word "phobia" is significantly
more rigorous than the dictionary definition. Phobic reactions include intense
physiological and psychological discomfort, not mere heightened anxiety.

I'd also say that "unreasoning" in phobias aren't an issue of not being aware
of why you have the fear, but rather an issue of being aware that the fear
is unjustified. For instance, someone from the bayou has a genuine and
legitimate reason for fearing snakes... some of them are deadly. Someone from
Michigan doesn't. you may, however, be fully aware of why you have that
fear... perhaps when you were four, your older brother would terrorize you
with a rubber snake.

at any rate, I have an actual phobia: social phobia, an intense discomfort
about being in new places or situations; in my case, it focuses around parties
where I only know a few people, if anyone, crowded trendsetter places like
dance clubs, and places where "outsiders" are supposedly ridiculed (local
bars), as well as places of ill-repute (strip clubs); I also fear rejection
to the point of violence, mostly because it's so much work for me to make new
friends, that if I lose the ones i have, I'll be alone. ={

Well, any definition will do.  I just put up those for the people who don't
know what they really mean.  Anyway, they're not dictionary definitions,
they're Julie definitions.  I should probably look them up though.
(Is there a phobia about work?)

I have an irrational fear of heigts -- even to the point of walking around
work hole coveres on sidewalks.  

that's fine, julie, I was just being anal-retentive. =}
most psychological terms have a rigorous clinical definition and a much looser
layperson definition (phobia, depression, anxiety, and so on)

Heights, especially if I'm on a balcony (I won't go NEAR them) or
near a floor-to-ceiling window.
Spiders - pictures or the real thing...doesn't matter.  I will
FREAK.
Closed spaces - crowded elevators, full cars, *severe* crowds (like
a packed mall or after a concert gets out).

All of these give different reactions.  Heights will make me come
close to fainting, spiders make me feel like my skin is crawling and
bugs are in my hair, and closed spaces make me light-headed and can
cause a severe asthma attack.  I don't know why I have these
phobias, and there are situations where they won't bother me as
badly.  <shrug>  Psychology is so fascinating.  =)

I am afraid of heights only if I don't have a solid base to stand on.
(ie> rickedy ladders make me ill...  but if I'm staring down 300 feet
from a balcony or such, I feel no trepidation.)
I used to be afraid of needles.  I used to panic, fret, and even try to hide
inside the doctor's office.  Getting my blood drawn every other day helped
kick that one.  :-)

        Re #1:

        Christ, that describes half of GREX, being paralyzed in new social
situations.  I'd wager it's a common phobia, though I'd never thought of it
as a phobia - traditionally the clinically diagnosed phobias I've heard of
were unreasoning, usually a strong response to a strong situation being echoed
in a weak-stimulus situation - whereas most of the social phobics I know just
worry too much about what other people are thinking or pay more attention
to the conversations in their head.  Or they just don't have some of the 
rules of interaction down.  But then again you may be talking about something
of an entirely different order.

        Re #0:

        I really have a bad learned reaction to cheese.  It's irrational.  I
used to be lactose-intolerant, strongly, but I don't have learned reactions
to the other thing I'm allergic to - dogs and cats - and I'll play with them
for hours before I realise I've gotten myself a nasty reaction.  But cheeses
often bring up very unpleasant images even IF I would enjoy the taste.  The
exception is on pizza.  I don't understand it.  I'm flaky that way.

You're refering to simple phobias, that is, phobias of a specific stimulus.
That's actually the sort that #0 is describing as well, but it's hardly the
only sort of phobia that psychologists talk about. Also, simple phobias are
rarely representative of the actual stimulus, but rather an associated
stimulus... a sexually abusive uncle may have been the only cigarette smoker
you knew as a child, and so cigarettes bring out an anxiety reaction, while
the uncle himself doesn't; the last thing you saw before the mack truck killed
your father right in front of you was a Dairy Queen, and so now you avoid
Dairy Queens. And so forth... (these are extreme examples; simple phobias can
be generated by much less, and there MAY be a direct connection, not a latent
one... an acquaintance was terrified of cats because she was attacked by a
wild one once).

Social phobia is called that, but some consider it an anxiety disorder, not
a phobia. It is *not* just an issue of having poor social skills, although
most social phobics does have poor social skills. Sure, half of Grex might
have trouble going out and being around people, but I don't think it provokes
an intense anxiety reaction in most of them... they're uncomfortable out in
public. It becomes a phobia or an anxiety disorder (by clinical definitions)
when the act generates so much fear or anxiety that there are (a) intense
physiological reactions, such as prolonged hyperventilation, mood control,
nausea, sweating, etc. (if you've had an anxiety reaction, you know the
difference between it and just discomfort) and/or (b) excessive attempts to
avoid the stimulus, or feelings of paralysis when faced with its potential.

Social phobia *is* a common problem... some estimate that as many as 20% of
the population have some degree of it sometime during their lives. But it's
not just about lacking social skills, something people should be easily able
to "get over."

Well, I doubt I have the Real Genuine Social Phobia, but strange people are
one of the things that freak me out the most. Water also does in some
situations - cold water, or a fast current, or just huge stretches of it. But
neither of those affects me all that much, and I dout they're worthy of being
called "phobias" ("phobiae"?)

Children old enough to toddle suddenly become afraid of strangers, this is
a useful reaction.  It is also a good idea to be afraid of rickety ladders
and other dangerous situations.

Geez, do we all think we have social phobia? Actually, I don't really 
think I'm afraid of interacting with people; rather people in general 
terrify me, especially in crowds.  You know, going out to the mall, and 
getting in crowded elevators.  Just really looking at a bunch of 
strangers is scary. 

Some people who know me think I am afraid of germs. Although I am very 
picky about where I eat & wash my hands many times a day... well, it's 
more a "compulsion" (if that) than a phobia.

I do remember one.  I used to be (at about 14 years old) very 
homophobic! I remember I had this friend who was gay (but a boy) but I 
was just totally freaked out about lesbians. One time after some remark 
he asked if I was bi or something, and I said "Oh, God NO!".  Of 
course, it really freaked me out, because I was afraid I might be gay. 
(This reminds me, I even wrote a note to the school vice principle - i 
was always in trouble- that I thought she was a lesbian and it freaked 
"us students" -me- out. Funny how we forget the bad things we do, but 
she probably wasn't...)

What finally got you over the homophobia?

#11> Do you get sweaty palms, have trouble breathing, or go out of your way
to avoid certain social settings? Are there places that you simply can't bring
yourself to go, so much that the mere thought of it makes you want to cry,
run away, or stop breathing? If so, you, too, may be a Social Phobic. Just
call 1-800-IM-SCARED, and for four low monthly payments of ... oh sorry, too
many late night infomercials.

re: #1-- well, I like conversing in small groups, but crowds make me
positively uncomfortable, even with people I know pretty well.  I find the
chaos and shallow interaction rather unnerving, but I guess I'm a deep person.
Really, what Paul describes fits me quite well-- I also fear rejection. 
However, if I have something else to distract me, I can forget about crowds.

I used to be shy, although being manic-depressive hid it and I was rather
forced to learn to make do.  Calling people on the telephone terrified me for
the longest time until I was about 18.  Then I could talk to just about
anyone.

I still fear heights somewhat.  Escalators, rides in small airplanes,
balconies, etc. scared me a lot, but that too I began to deal with better when
I became an adult.  *but* if you even joke about pushing me off a tall
building when I'm looking over its edge, I'll be very cross with you for quite
a while.

<lise pats lumen on the back> Don't fall! ;)  

re #12: I don't know to be honest, I gradually (at about 15) started 
acknowledging my own MOTSS feelings & started getting used to the 
idea.  I remember in particular being attracted to Sophie B Hawkins in 
the "damn i wish i was your lover" video.  That's the first time I 
explicitly acknowledged to myself that I had such feelings.  My former 
homophobia seemed pretty silly by then. I realized I was mostly afraid 
of myself.  (Still am, sometimes..)

I was like that too, and it wasn't until I started realizing that
I'd like to kiss all of these "beautiful women" I knew or saw on TV
that I finally accepted who I was.  =)

being attracted to sophie hawkins isn't enough in and of itself to determine
sexuality. she's one of those people that seems to be attractive to a very
diverse range of people, include very gay men and very straight women. =}

speaking of which, she's scheduled to have a new album out jan 7. yay!
 
lumen> I'm VERY afraid of myself. I'm not afraid of heights, but I'm afraid
of hills... what I'm afraid of is getting about halfway up and then getting
stuck; perhaps my car stalls out, or maybe it just doesn't have the power.
Many a nightmare based on that one.

I'm absoulutely horrified of large, uncontrolled crowds, particularly if 
I'm by myself.  Being stuck in a milling horde terrifies me to the point 
that I can hardly move... I can usually buck it up, grit my teeth and 
ignore it, usually if someone I know and trust is nearby, or if there is 
some great reason for me to endure it. 

Re 17, I have had nightmares of being in a car that I could not stop, but not
one that insisted on stopping.  How can it put you in any danger to be in a
stopped car?  You can always get out of the car and continue on your way.

re 17: Indeed such an attraction alone is not, that is just a certain 
point in time or event that triggered that realization.  Like "Aha! 
That's what I want!" Sexual attraction, esp. to women, had always been 
vague to me before that.  After that, past attractions made more 
sense.  But it brings up an interesting question - do we remember 
things very differently than they happened because we interpret them in 
the frame of current knowledge & identity?  Probably, but it's weird to 
think I might be misunderstanding myself (especially when my memories 
seem so genuine).  In other words, I'd interpret those attractions 
differently if I now thought of myself as 100% straight & maybe 
wouldn't even have those memories, or would have different ones of 
liking boys when I was young.

Ok, ok, back to the topic.  I have a recurring nightmare that I am 
taking a bunch of classes and forget all about one 'til the end of the 
quarter.  It sounds ridiculous or anal retentive, but I've had the 
dream so many times now! & it's awful! (is that seriously weird?)

Nope...I've had the same one.  =)  Mine also involves forgetting to show up
for an exam at the end of the semester.

I've had that dream, too.  I hear it's pretty common.  For me it usually
signifies that there's something I'm neglecting to deal with.  ;)

My related dream is signing up for too many courses and forgetting to drop
them by the deadline and having to do all the work for them before finals.
Jim dreams about not understanding his schedule or losing it and not knowing
what class to go to next, he just wanders the halls.  He never had problems
with exams, he could handle stress, but he always worried about showing up
at the right place at the right time.  Or bringing the books for  different
class, carrying a ton of books but none for that class.  He has also had the
dream in which he knows he has not been to a class for a month, that dream
happens so often it has become a part of his memory, of reality, he thinks
he really did that but cannot name a class that he skipped for a month.

I used to have really terrifying dreams about being alone.

(random side note, but #23 sounds like my real life-- both ends of the scale..
but particularly the too many courses....  *sigh*  <jessi concludes her pity
party>

Keesan, that's usually the exact form of my dream!  All of a sudden 
it's the end of the quarter and there's a class I should have been 
going to all this time.

Glad my post got such response; I thought my anxiety was abnormal! 

re 24: that sounds terrible. But they're over now, right?

Re resp:26 and related - I also have had recurring dreams about
forgetting a class I signed up for, and not being prepared for the final
exam. In recent years, sometimes the dream takes the form of not being
prepared for a class I'm about to *teach*. The lecture is supposed to
begin in half an hour, and I don't even know anything about the subject
matter. Scary!  (I'm a teacher by profession.)

Does anyone dream about being lost in the woods or the city?
re 27, sometimes I wondered whether a few of my teachers knew anything about
the subject matter or had prepared the lecture.  I recall one particular class
in which the two instructors would get up there and argue fine points with
each other.  This was supposed to be an introductory anthro course, and it
is the only class in which I skipped most of the lectures (so did the other
students).  The 'lectures' had no relation to readings or exams.

Yeah, pretty much.

good, Julie. :)

My dreams seemed to be in leaky, unkempt bathrooms.  I would get lost in these
maze-like bathrooms, and be chased by this redheaded girl...
(It *sounds* hilarious, but in the dreams it's terrifying)
Dunno... :-)

Being chased in a dream is *always* terrifying.

no, it sounds creepy, Vanessa..

I can actually picture the sort of dream in which a bathroom could be
terrifying. It wouldn't take that much embellishment...

Jim thinks he has had dreams of locker rooms, and bathrooms connecting with
them and storage rooms, and getting lost in a maze.   But he woke up in the
middle of the dream and had to go to the bathroom.  Does anyone else find that
bathroom dreams are stimulated by an urge to go?
        When he was a kid he used to have a recurring dream, before he could
drive a car, of being too short to reach the brake pedal. (In my dreams I
could not figure out which pedal was the brake pedal).  He had to keep
steering and avoiding things because the car would not stop.  He never
crashed.  He also had a falling dream, but that dream never occurred again
after he fell out of the bunk bed and hit his head on the dresser.  He escaped
from the dream.  He was really young when he slept in the top bunk, 6 or
younger.  He used to have to wake up in order to stop the falling dream.  It
seemed like he had the dream at least once a week.

If I have to go to the bathroom in a dream, I always wake up with
the urge to go.  I've had lots of dreams about driving, but I'm
usually the passenger.  This is odd since I'm *rarely* the passenger
IRL.  I ride in someone's car about once a month.  As for falling,
I've never had that dream.  I have many dreams where I'm flying, but
I land safely.  I wish I could have wings IRL, though...it would be
cool.  =)

hey, sarah, you made me sing another song!
<kari is singing "i am the passenger and i ride and i ride">

re 36: that's funny sarah, because I often have dreams that I am flying 
and can't land! They are *very* realistic.  I try everything possible 
to land, but keep going higher. (fear of death maybe?)

I used to have the "car" dream Jim describes -- behind the wheel of the car
and can't reach the break and so have to keep driving to avoid hitting things.
I had that dream well into my thirties, usually when my life was "out of
control" in some way.

I never drive, and I have still had that dream (got a license once purely for
identification purposes).  Cars are scary things.
        In my flying dreams I just have to think about it and I can fly higher,
no need to flap wings or kick flippers.  How do other people fly?

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss