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How do you distinguish between a friendly trip someplace and a Date? - that's a question that applies to anyone, really, but it's especially hard to figure out among us gay folks. (I actually found myself tempted to use the phrase 'queer community'. Somebody hit me) <g> I mean, if you get an invitation to do something from a MOTSS who you don't know all that well, but know to be queer, is your initial assumption that this person is trying to get to know you better as a friend, or that he/she/it is Asking Your Out On A Date? Alternately, if you were trying to ask a MOTSS on a Date, how would you make it clear taht it really was a date ond not just a friendly excursion? (You know, I'm beginning to understand why I've never much understood the point of dating...)
16 responses total.
(This is probably a naive question, but I'm not really up on my acronyms in this area. What does MOTSS stand for -- Munchkin of the Same Sex?)
Member of The Same Sex, I presume. I have always avoided formal situations, which is what a date is. Some people seem to prefer having rules to follow in their social interactions. Is it possible to actually ask 'Would you be interested in going on a date?' Then you could both play the expected roles, whatever they are nowadays. Or if you are asked to go somewhere 'Is this a date?' What are the rules nowadays in hetero dating? Are there rules?
(See, I haven't payed much attention to hetero dating either. Oh well - what's an old tree to do) (I don't know, remmers, I'm sure there are some pretty cute munchkins out there if you look hard enough) (Dang, I'm starting to sound like carson. I gotta cut down on these parens)
John's Guide to Acronyms MOTSS - Member of the Same Sex MOTOS - Member of the Opposite Sex MOTAS - Member of the Appropriate Sex ATM - Anything That Moves *giggles*
Re: #4 Gee, guess I'll gave to get mace the next time I use an ATM card. <grin> Back on topic: Uhhhhh date? Huh? Generally, most interactions that I go on qualify as HO...or Hanging Out. NO rules, no frills, just plain ol' hanging out. Funny, "real" dates for me tend to happen after the meeting and getting to know process has already gotten into the latter stages, and after deciding that kinky stuff IOK. (is O.K. (what ever ok stands for...as I recal it 's an acronym that was created in WWII to confuse enemies over the radio.)) They usually happen on SO (special occasions) when you just want to dress to the nines and go to a nice place etc etc...and be conventionally silly. (kind of a play acting thing...DMM (don't mind me)) Dating before really knowing *Anyone* really seems like a recipie for desaster IMOH (in my humble opinion). (font wonders if carson programs in lisp. it makes perenthesis irresistable...)<drift=OFF>
You know what I say. (Talk to Liza.. talk to liza...) Fine, I'll shut up now. (Yes, I know I'm impossible. I love you anyway.) (not all munchkins are cute... look at my sister)
<set topic = off> Etymology of O.K. The etymology of this term, perhaps the most ubiquitous of all English terms (competing in worldwide univerality only with "fuck" and "hi"), is in high dispute. The standardly accepted etymology, which is almost certainly WRONG, is that it was coined in the early to mid-19th Century as an abbreviation for "Old Kinderhooks," nickname for one of the presidential hopefuls of the time (who belonged to the O.K. Club, the Old Kinderhooks Club). A competing but also likely incorrect etymology is that it's an abbreviation of "Oll Korrect," being a way of poking fun at the Germanic (primarily Dutch) immigrants who pervaded the pbulishing industry. The most likely (but most distressing to the white conservatives who still dominate English departments) is that it comes from an African (Yoruban, I beleive, but I don't have my reference books here) word, "oke" meaning "good." "Okeket" and "hepket" both mean "good man" in this language, while "jez" is a sexual term (I beleive)... hence the early Twentieth century spread of "hepcat" and "jazz" from the African-American community. The most logical explanation is that (a) the term does, in fact, come from "oke" and (b) the stigma of a *gasp* Negro word being widespread in english in the mid-19th Century led to the formation of several moronic etymologies and a modified spelling to account for them. <set topic = on>
you forgot the other theory about "oll korrect" being the way semi-literate mississippi riverboat captains checked their bills of lading.
Oops, serves me right for listening in history class. Gee what a great education system we have here in america...
I've had an interesting experience with the whole term date.... as a college student, every summer, I goe home for three months each summer, work my tail off, then pack up and come back here, 500 miles south of there for the next nine months, exceptign a few, brief breaks. I have like 3 friends at "home", and much to my chagrin on of these individuals introduced me to a guy. The reason this is much to my chagrin is because she wated until early august to do so-=- I was leaving in three weeks. So despite teh fact that we went on a number of what might be defined by the general public as dates, I kept insisting that they weren't dates-- because I figured taht a "date" had the express intent of becoming romantically involved with the other indiviual involved in the date, and I had *no* intention of becoming involved. (My more amusing reasons not to call things dates strike me as so "high school" I want to hit myself... "Well, I paid for myself, it wasn't a date..." or "If I meet him at the movies, rather than let him pick me up, it isn't a date..." ) I lost my batttle with myself, and despite the distance, I'm pretty firmly attached.... <set babble=off>
Can you still be going on dates with a permanent partner, or do you have to use a new term?
actually sounds fairly good to me.. definition-wize...
<shrug> I dunno. I don't know about "dates". It seems that there are fairly specific things that are meant when one uses that word. Most of my encounters with the perfered females don't "qualify"...but I don't know. It used to be if you were spending any time with anyone it was called a date...some how I like the old version better. I mean...a time where things aren't defined is the most comfortable time to get to know someone and decide if that's the person you want to be romanticly involved with...because you have time to decide if that's what you want. IMHO
A date - a period of probation?
I like 'testing the waters,' myself.
It's a phrase I am not apt to remember in such occasions. But it is a nice one....
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