Yep! I'd say it's something that most women do not forget. Did you know it was
coming, or were you shocked? Do you think it is something to be celebrated, or
dreaded? 

47 responses total.

I recall it quite well, as I usually do with weird experiences in my life. It
was on a Saturday in March 1986 (I remember that because I saw _Ferris
Bueller's Day Off_ in the theater that day). I was 13. I got up that morning
and as usual went to the bathroom. For some reason I was compelled to look
down. Boom. I wasn't certain that's what it was, though, so I just kept quiet.
By that night it was clear to me that was what it was. Mom was summoned to the
bathroom. Said little more than "Here's a pad, it's a real nuisance and you'll
hate it." The pad was the size of a Buick. I was like "What the hell happened?"
even though I knew this was coming and that it was normal. All I had was a film
in school and Judy Blume books to go on. Never experienced "the talk" with mom,
except for "If you start in school just go and tell your teacher." Yeah right,
like I would do that. If anything I was happy to not have had it happen in
school. 

This was not long ago and yet it amazes me how several of my friends were
hysterical when they first got their periods. They had no clue, and they all
had moms at home who didn't tell them anything. I guess it's because THEIR moms
never told them anything. I am tired of it being described as a "curse" and
"nuisance", like it's some horrible disease instead of a normal biological
function that's been happening all through time. I think parents need to talk
to it to both their daughters AND their sons... this takes the mystery, the
"bad" part out of it.  I know of one mom who did this with her 2 kids (one boy
one girl) and while they both reacted with "Ew! Gross! Sick! You're lying!" at
first, at least they knew the facts and weren't afraid. She was my friend's
mom, and surprise surprise, she was the one I went to when I had questions and
I knew she'd give me the right answers. 

Well, I WAS in school...fifth hour gym class and I was 13 years old.  I was
a freshman, so lots of my friends had theirs already.  I had to go to the
bathroom and couldn't figure out why my underwear felt damper than usual. 
I looked down and sorta did that "HUH?"  I recognized what it was, but it was
disbelief I guess.  I went back out after putting a wad of toilet paper in
my underwear and got my friend Angela.  She didn't have anything, so I asked
my gym teacher for a pad.  I took care of it, freaked out the rest of the
afternoon (what if it leaks?  what if it shows? etc).  I told my Mom that
night, dreading her crying in happiness, which she didn't - thankfully.  She
bought me some pads and gave me some tips.  =)

This response has been erased.

Of course! How Carrie-like (if you saw the movie or read the book, you know
what I'm talking about). I had some friends who thought they were going to
bleed to death, or thought it was some weird deviation of diarrhea.

I remember all too well.

I was eight, and it was summer.  Because i was so young, (I guess) Mom hadn't
mentioned it yet -- but fortunately my older cousins had told me about it the
previous summer.

I was wearing a gorgeous white bathing suit that was styled after the
"glamourous" suits of a few decades before, all covered with stitched on fabric
roses and gathered tightly down the front.  My five brothers and I were sun
bathing in the front yard, when suddenly my Mom came out of the house and told
me to "go to the bathroom" which, in my family, could mean only one thing.

I couldn't imagine why I was in for a beating...!

Then she came to the bathroom door, told me to take off the bathing suit and
give it to her, and she passed me one of those old fashioned pads with a belt
and a pair of shorts and a blouse through a crack in the door.   Never said a
word in explanation.

Of course when I took off the suit, I saw the blood.  I sat there for over an
hour trying to figure out the infernal contraption that was to be my
"protection".  Mom finally came back; I tearfully explained my problem, and she
had me pass it back through the door and then handed it back "loaded" and told
me to put it on.

For the next several years it was a huge secret.  When I'd run out of pads, Mom
would have Dad drive her to the store on the excuse that the family needed
something else (she didn't drive) and would come home with the box wrapped in
paper.  It was very wierd - -especially since those monsters were so big it
would take serious study not to see them.  ;)

My grandma thought she was bleeding to death since her Mom hadn't told her
about it, and my mother started when she was nine.  Ugh.  I had to use one of
those awful belt/pad contraptions when I was in the hospital...yuck!  I'm so
glad things are simpler now.  I never would have been able to do it.

Eight? Nine? Yikes. That's quite young. I've read that about 100 years ago the
average age of menarche was 16. 

I didn't think there were belt/pad things anywhere on the planet now. Hmm. How
could you wear pants with those things?

Yeah, 8 or 9 *is* quite young.  My mother was 17 and that's why she was
completely unprepared for my menarche, I think.  (I must have gotten it from
my Dad's side of the family.  Not unlikely, I look just like them.)

Oh, you can get the belt and pad thing -- in hospitals.  They've given them
to me after I miscarried and presumably they also give them after you bear
a child.

As to whether you can wear them under pants -- sure.  They sling around your
hips just under the panty line and while they're bulky and might not fit under
the "sprayed on" look, they'd be wearable (if noticeable) under more average
fit pants and no one would know the fifference under the "hiphop" look.

My mom wore skirts to hide the pad since she had the belt contraption when
she was younger.  It wasn't a problem in school, though, since they had
uniforms anyway.

I don't remember how old I was when the explanatory booklets around the house
first came to my notice; I just know that when they talked about it in
7th grade I had read about it already, just not experienced it. There was
some special occasion (don't remember what) when as part of the dressing up,
my mother brought me a pad & belt to wear "just in case" (somebody told me
how to wear it, either Mother or one of my older sisters).  The odd thing
is that I seriously didn't know what color to expect, I'd missed that detail!  

The first period finally came about a month before my 13th birthday, toward
the end of July;  Mother said something quietly to my *big* sister (6 years 
older) about my having "joined the sisterhood", and I thought "this isn't 
so bad!" while doing calculations about how many times in my life it would
happen -- then I didn't have another period for six months, and was rather
disappointed.

This response has been erased.

i was in 6th grade, i had just turned 11. i was a 'b' or 'c' cup...
<mom always bought me 'b' cups, because that was what she
bought for herself..  but they were very il-fitting>
anyway, i was in school and didnt notice until lunch.
i wasnt quite sure  if it was my period.
i remembered once as a small kid beint in the bathroom with my mom
and asking her about the pad she had on.  she said it
was "minnistration" and that was that.
she never had 'the talk' with me. the school hadnt yet gotten around
to showing any of those movies. i dont think they would
have helped, as they were very cryptic anyway.
i went to my best friend, and then she helped me ask the
teacher. i thought i was going to get into trouble.
but the teacher just grinned and took me to the
restroom and handed me a pad. no instructions on how to use it. 
i couldnt figure out how to use it, until i noticed a safety pin in
the wrapper.
it felt HUGE!!! i was worried that someone else would notice.

when i got home that day, i nervously told my mom. she dug out
one of those belts, and showed me how to hook a pad onto it.
i hated it, and my cramps were horrendous.

mom had a lot of opportunities to tell me abuot it beforehand. once 
while carrying in groceries, i picked up a huge box of them. i
thought they were huge kleenexes, and ran in the house to show them
off to my brothers. i got yelled at, and mom quickly shoved them under
her bed and said they werent kleenexes, but refused to tell
me anything more, except that they were "private"

mom always kept them hidden under her bed. she even had a small
bag to dispose of them <*now* i think that was gross>. she'd hoard
all the dirty ones until the bag was full, then on trash day they
wuold go out with the other garbage in plastic bags. never once
did she throw them away in the bathroom, not even rolled up with
toilet paper.

my brothers didnt really know about periods, i overheard them discussing
it <one brother was 24> and all he knew was that it "made women
go to the bathroom more".
odd family. ;-/

One day, during the 5th grade, the school nurse came in and took all the
girls out of class to go down to her office.  When we got there, the girls
in the other 5th grade class were already there.  We then proceeded to
receive a brown bag, inside of which were about 5 pads and a book called,
"Growing Up and Liking It," which is a series of letters among three close
friends, one of which just moved to a new town, disussing menstration. I
don't remember what the nurse said that day but I remembered being
confused and asking Mama for clarification when I got home that afternoon.

Maybe it's just me, but I have no recollection of my first period.  All I
know was it was after the 5th grade.

I was very late in starting -- so when I finally did, it was a relief.
Though it was kind of funny, because I had just gotten strep throat, and
I wsa sick as a dog, and then I start getting cramps, and so there I am
watching "Mutiny on the Bounty" (the one with Marlon Brando) late 
at night in the family living room, and bing-o. It started. 

Rhiannon was late starting as well, but we had already had the talks, 
etc. and she knew it was due to start around Christmas after we'd
spoken about this to the pediatrician, and wehen she did, I made 
sure we had a cake and ice cream that night just to celebrate.

This response has been erased.

Yeah I guess some look at it as just another thing in life. Which is perfectly
ok. I just hate the stigma associated to it. Isabella Rossellini wrote in her
autobiography about how when she was in her early teens, she decided she wanted
to be a man. When she got her period, people said things to her like "now that
you're a young lady, you have to be careful of men", and it was said with this
grave look that made her think there would be some horrible, unspeakable fate
awaiting her. 

Re #15 It wasn't a shock because after I am home from the nurse's talk
throughly confused, Mama explained things to me.  I'm not sure she would have
realized to do it on her own, so it was a good thing that the public schools
at least tried to help (although they could have been more clear) It was the
same way I learned about sex; 7th grade health class had me so confused I came
home and asked Mama what the heck they were talking about so she finally told
me (when I was eight and she was pregnant with my sister, I had asked, and
been given the "you're too young to know" answer) So I'm glad the schools made
an attempt to give us education on sensitive topics, although they could have
done a better job.

It frightens me when I hear people come up with strange theories about sex
(people who believe you can't get pregnant in the daytime? or the first time?)
because all this mis-information is probably where all the problems are coming
from.  Some people try to "protect" kids by not telling them stuff "they don't
need to know" but they end up learning it the hard way :(

This response has been erased.

This response has been erased.

I was 14 and at a bus station with my mother the first period, but I don't
recall much more, I must have known something before it happened.  No fuss
was made, it did not seem important in either a good or bad way.  Our schools
did not teach anything about health.  There was supposed to be a health class
in 10th grade but I switched schools just before tenth grade, and we never
had any health classes at the new school either.  My total formal sex
education consisted of a book left in our college mailboxes freshman year.
Are boys now taught anything about periods, or girls about wet dreams?

I'm sure I was taught about them in middle school health class - classes were
split up into boys and girls for that part, but both groups were taught both
sides of things - but I have no memory of it. I mean, I don't remember how
it was presented or anything, or whether I knew about it already at the time.

Our classes were split too, but my mother told me what happens to boys when
I asked her.  As for sex, I learned that from a great book she bought for me,
then she answered any questions I had.  

That is what I will do, get my kids a book and be there for their questions. I
was embarrassed to ask questions when I was in junior high, and a book would
have been great. 

This response has been erased.

Oh...it's from the seventies or early eighties...  We got it at a garage sale.
I gave it to my younger cousin a while ago, but I remember the title was "The
Teenage Body Book".  An ISBN book at the library could give you the author(s).

...Then again, since the baby won't need such a book until 12 or so, they'll
probably come out with a good book by then. 

I wouldn't wait until "12 or so".  What i've seen is that such books come
in two age categories:  pre-teen and teen.  I'd want the former in junior's
bookshelf by age 9, and read & discuss it together then.  Add the latter
by age 12.  

You're right... I was just thinking 12 as a hallmark adolescent age.
I knew about sex by the time I was 9, from kids at school (oddly enough most
information was correct, I guess someone's parent explained it to them), but
had no idea about adolescence and its changes until later, and I really could
have used that information first.

This response has been erased.

don't women feel really bad to be the ones to have all the
suffering? I mean, Iam a guy, and Iam plagued by this thought all
time.

Men used to lead much riskier lives, as in warfare and wild animals, which
sort of evened out the lifespans (death during childbirth), plus women tend
to be genetically healthier.  Hard to choose.

don't know if i'd call it "suffering". Weird at times, inconvenient 
sometimes, but not pure dread. I think this whole labeling it "a 
curse" and such just stems from body shame. All this propaganda tells us 
how annoying, embarrassing, painful and horrible it is to menstruate, 
when it's just a normal biological function! I mean, do you hear people 
complain about how horrible and nasty is it to pee four times a day? 
Nope. What is the difference? I think they should educate boys about 
this in school too, not just make all the girls watch some stupid film. 
We saw a film in 5th grade and our teacher said that if she caught us 
talking about it with boys, we'd be sent to the office! Nice way to 
instill shame and fear about something so normal.

Well, at the middle schol I went to, the boys were taught about menstruation
also; I'd already been told about it by my mom, so I didn't pay much attention
to that part. 

To my mind, it's just uncomfortable and messy -- since I am a real heavy
bleeder (seven days and four of them usually flooders) and I get cramps.
OTOH, it's not "suffering" per se -- just a nuisance.

There is nothing they can do for heavy bleeding? The mini-pill helped me 
a lot in that regard.

It's not true suffering, gnome, but your sympathy is appreciated.  =)  I got
used to it after about a year, and it becomes very routine.  It's an annoyance
at times, but no more than anything else in life.

Well, beeswing, they've even cauterized the inside of my womb, and that
didn't stop it! Apparently I simply bleed. A lot. Kind of like when Valerie
is talking about her lochia above -- I spent months bleeding then. Agggh.

Cheer up, maybe you will never have atherosclerosis as compensation.

Ugh... I would be anemia queen if i was a heavy bleeder. I would get 
heavy ones like every other time. The pill reduced that, and shortened 
it from 7 days to like 4 or 5. 

Before that, I'd skip for months but then would get my period like twice 
a month. I didn't care that I skipped, but wanted to go postal when it 
would go away only to come back way sooner than it should have.

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss