How many of you, if any, have gone on trips/adventures by yourself? 

Being female, its taken me awhile to even think about this sort of
thing, let alone, follow up on such an idea!!  Maybe its from being
from a family with lots of kids and never HAD my own space, I had
just assumed that activities were always meant to be shared with others/

Now that I've been on my own and living far away from family [and my
friends from Michigan], I've gotten used to doing some things on my
own.  I've been into going to movies, restaurants, book stores, etc
by myself [and sometimews with friends but there ARE times when I do
prefer my own company].

Recently, I went on a solo trip out to the mountains.  I've always
wanted to go during the color change in the fall--so I had some time off and
was going to go.  A girlfriend was also going out to meet some of her
family around the same time and we had talked about connecting  out
there, but though I cherish my friendship with her, I was truly
glad I did this trip on my own... And it was my first solo trip of this
length [having only done one overnighter by myself a couple years ago,
going out to the coast one day, coming back the next].

This solo trip allowed me to come and go when I wanted, see what *I*
wanted, I could follow my own whims, eat when I wanted [and what I wanted],
I could pull off the road and take photos of silly things or fun things
without others wondering what I was doing...  Even though I've valued
myself for awhile now [it wasn't a;lways this way]. this trip I really
got to know myeslf in a different and new way... And I liked what I
learned and saw.

It was interesting... On the first day of my trip, I had spent a few 
minutes talking with a couple from Floriday/ who hadn't eve4r been to
this region, so I was filling them in on some of the history. A couple
days later, I happened to run into them again!  They seemed to be
a very delightful couple and thus, we talked a bit more. However, the
woman kept saying that it was too bad that I had to do this trip by myself,
that she kind of felt sorry for me... I hope I was able to convince
her that I did it this way BY CHOICE!  I had such a wonderful time on this
trip, I can honestly say that this has been the best vacation ever.
And now I'm going to continue this new tradition and I will be taking
at least one solo trip each year.

I'd be really interested in hearing other people' stories of solo
travel/// Have you ever done this or at least thought of it? If you
haven't gone, what has held yopu [you] back??  Please do share whatever
thoughts you may have on this topic. Thanks!!  :-)

119 responses total.

Oh, I forgot to also ask... Do you see any differences  in women
solo travels vs men who travel solo?  I'm not sure that there ARE
any differences [other than,  perhaps maybe women haven't been
encouraged to take time out for themselves for such an adventure;
I'm curious to learn if men are, too... or not.]

[This is item 68 in the women's conference [femme], and 59 in the
travel conference.]

Since Itravel once in a while for work, I take a lot of solo trips from trip
destinations.  I have explored Milan, Italy; Bamberg, Germany, Barcelona,
Spain; Budapest, Hungary; London, UK; and Kyoto, Japan, by myself.  In each
case, I had one or more weekends to myself, plus long enjoyable evenings. 
At first, I felt self-conscious in restaurants, but what the heck.  Once I
got over that, there is almost nothing I won't try.  Local transportation is
great fun.  (Oh yes, several places in Mexico, too).  I have never taken the
local bus tours like Gray Line Tours, but others say that is a fantastic way
to see a new place.  I usually buy a city map and use local transportation
and walk a lot.  

On another type of vacation, my brother and I usually take a 2 week driving
vacation each year.  I have the good fortune of a lease car without mileage
penalties so we use that.  Typically, we drive to the most distant location
in a marathon drive.  Then we pick a general route and wind our way back. 
Two years it was ghost towns, last year it was national parks, this year it
was a combination of parks and intersting cities.  Usually the "excuse" is
photography.  I take other vacations with family (I have 5 weeks) but they
do not have as much time off as I do.  On these trips we usually have detailed
maps and tourist info and we have a basic route planned, but firm up a
detailed plan as we proceed.  Usually we plan the following day the night
before.  Sometimes, we see something which we did not plan and we modify on
the spot.  

This response has been erased.

Valerie and Marc, I'd love to hear more of your impressions of your so.,r 
[opps!] solo travels... What kinds of things did you see/do in the various
cities/countries ?  Are yiou into the usual 'typical tourist' type thiing that
everyone says you MUST seewhile in a given spot, are are you more into
exploring the not-so-touristy type places??  [I don't know Marc all too well
[yet?] but knowing Valeri, I picture Valerie doing more being more on her own,
going as the the spirit moves her...

Did both of yu typically esier to talk with the 'locals' by being alone?
And what about the food, did you try more of the foods from that area? Or, in
the states, did you try to avoid the 'chains and fast foods to explore more of
the more family/locally owned restaurants?

I lknow Marc must've taken some photos on some of these travels...
Valerie, what about you?? Are you into picture taking? If so, I'd love to see
yours as well as Marc's!

Valerie, I remember hearing about your trip [somewhat] to Australia!  :-)

Marc, your yearly trip with your brother really sounds like a lot of fun! And
I like your style--in having a general them [like the parks or whatever] AND
in not writing in stone too far in advance in what the itinerary will be...
People that do that get tooTOO focused and thus, don't take time to relax, have
fun, or  get to really SEE and get to KNOW the area and the
people/sights/food/whatever.

Hmm, wqith all of my questions, I'm sure yu can tell that I'm new to this
kind of travel but loved every minute of it [not to say that traveling
with others is a problem... There's just a time and a place for both!]

Rambling=OFF [for now, at least!  :-)  ]

Well, Valerie and I must have a similar attitude toward travel.  We both
apparantly walk a lot.  I take lots of pictures with a mini-camera.  Maybe
she does too?

When I was in Milan, Italy, I got up at 7:00 am one day and walked the 12
miles to the center of the city and back.  During the walk, I used city street
map to locate old city centers which were built up along the way and I
explored each of these.  I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner along the route,
with a late dinner near my hotel at 9:00 pm - returning at 11:00 pm.  My
destination was the "Dome" or "Duomo" which is a huge cathedral with narrow
streets in a spider-web pattern radiating from the Duomo.  I spent hours
there.  I went to a vegetable market and to a flea market.  Both were
fascinating.  I had a wizzened guy in a full-length army coat try to sell me
a Carthiginean tile on my Visa card.  He figured I did not know the exchange
rate and he wanted the equivalent of $4000 for it.  He presented it as $400.
It was beautiful, with a white and wedgewood blue scene of a running rabbit.
They also had 200-400 year old Ethiopian beads for sale plus look-alike
copies.  Copies were around $25.  I didn't buy anything.

Denise, I'll send you a posting of one of my prior trips with my Brother. 
These are some of the best and most relaxing trips I have ever taken.  This
year, we slept in the Van at the edge of a 6000 ft look-out over Death Valley
and took pictures at dawn.  

I've never travelled alone.  That's not surprising, since I've never done much
of anything but GREXing alone.    It's not that I intentionally set out to
be a aprt of a group at all times ... but it gets to be a habit.  I was ththe
first in a large family.  Met my first husband was I was 16.  Married him at
20, had a baby at 21 and another at 23.  Then, whenever i went anywherefor
years after that I had my two favorite people (and their diaper bags and toys)
in tow..  As they got older and more independent, I found that I almost always
had a beloved that I wanted to spend time with.

One of my dreams is that someday, when I'
m retired, I will take off for weeks at a time and travel to all the places
I want to see and explore them on my own.  (Larry is quite a homebody, so I'll
have to do it on my own if I want to do much exploring.)

I made a major backpacking trip alone when I was in my early 30s.  I went to
Isle Royale and hiked and camped for two weeks.  Didn't consult anyone when
I wanted a cup of tea, or a few more minutes to watch a moose, or dinner when
I first woke up in the morning.  It was *wonderful*.  
It was the first time I was truly in touch with my own rhythms, since there
wasn't anything but nature and me (and for the first couple days, my sore
muscles:  the backpack weighed 45 lbs to start).  
Last summer I announced to my family (husband and 3 sons) that I was driving
to the Mississippi River, turning left, and when I found Memphis I would come
home.  I meandered through Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Tennesee, and had a
great time, sometimes camping, sometimes staying in very elegant hotels.  
In new cities, I buy books with architecture and history stuff, and can often
find a "walking tour" map and guide through the local tourist or historical
society.  
I also travel to Ireland alone for a month, but that was moderately civilized,
mostly hostels and b&b, and public transit.  
A surprising find for me was that a morning or day-long guided bus tour of
a city will often orient me and show me things I can walk or taxi back to.
Normally I'm pretty hard-core "I'll do it by my self, thank you!"

For traveling alone, by car in the US, the Smithsonian puts out great regional
guides to historic and cultural sights.  

For business traveling, the only difference I've noticed is that restaurants
have trouble with the concept of a woman dining alone.  Especially the nicer,
white table cloth ones.  It's not that they are unwelcoming, it's just more
that they don't quite know where to put you.  I also have trouble balacing
where I look for a hour or so.  I like to look at the other people, but don't
want to stare too much.  On the other hand, once you've memorized the dessert
list, there's not much left in the menu.  
I was on a four-week business trip, and always took myself out to an
expensive, elegant restaurant on Saturday night, since it is hard to find
things to do alone at night in a strange city.  
But that's the only problems I've ever had.  Everything else has been petty,
could-happen-to-anyone stuff.

Hmmm.  I've spent most of my adult life alone.  I've camped and hiked over
most of the US alone.  I do restaraunts alone and movies alone pretty often.
I'm perfectly comfortable alone.  I can go a week without talking to anyone
and not even notice.  I don't think its the ideal way to spend a life, but
in many ways it is what comes most easily to me.  Doing things in company is
a much bigger strain.

This item has been linked from Femme 68 to Intro 117.
Type "join femme" at the Ok: prompt for discussion of
women's issues.

Marc, I'm definitely going to have to reread some of the items here in
the travel conference to catch up on some of your other stories you've
shared! And yep, walking is such a wonderful way of getting around, really
SEEING the area [and things that you'd miss by driving or being on a
bus tour]... AND its so much easier, I think, to talk with the 'natives'
and to just get the more true to life FEEL of the area!

Misti!! [I'm so glad to hear from ya, I do miss you...]  Misti, I do
hope you won't wait tooo long to try going on a solo truip to at least
some [or even one] of the places you've always wanted to see/do.  Its
sooo easy to get in a rut [no matter how 'good' that rut can be] and
to put off those things that are for ourselves and ourselves only. Even
by setting aside a day or a couple days on our own [especially for
someone that's so used to being with others], starting off with day
trips and shorter excursions can be wonderful.  I'm finding that by
doing occasional things on my own helps me appreciate myself that much
more along with also enjoying time spent with friends that much more
meaningful as well!

Catriona, you're travels have soundedabsolutely fascinating! And you've
already done some of the things I've wanted to do: --exploring
Isle Royal, --exploring Ireland [my grandparents on my Mother's side
were born and raised in Ireland and moved to Michigan as young adults].
And you're trip to Tennessee sounds like it was a lot of fun, too!
Some day, I'm going to either take all 4 weeks of my vacation at
once [if I can convince Duke to let me; usually we can't
get more than 2 weeks at a time] OR to take a leave of absence [when I have
the $$ to do so] and just pack up the car and see where I end up...

Jan, I've really enjoyed hearing about some of your adventures over the
years...  And I've always envied those that didn't mind being
alone--since, growing up, alone time was such a foreighn concept to
me and literally took years after moving out in feeling comfortable,
let alone DOING things on my own AND ENJOYING them!!  So I guess this
jhaas been a 'personal growth' time for me...  You said, though,
that doing things in company has been astre [opps] a strain.  Though
it doesn't come across as being a strain for you [at least not the
past years I've known you online... I do recall your being in my 11th
grade history class and it seemed back then that you were shy.]

BTW, if any of you are  into reading about other solo adventures,
pick up the book _A Journey of One's Own_ subtitled "Uncommon
advice for the Independent Woman Traveler" by Thalia Zepatos.
The 2nd Edition just came out this summer AND, from what I've read so far
[just a few stories], it can be an enjoyable read for men, too. Its
an anthology of sorts, so the various stories have their own personal
styles.

Hello everyone(anyone). I'm new to this and dI don't know what to do

Judging by your login, I suggest you join the Synthesis cf.  =)  Type "J
synthesis" without the quotes at the Ok: prompt.

The U.P. was my favorite place for solo trips.  While living there, I'd take
every other weekend to just drive to wherever I felt like stopping.  I hiked,
walked, and even camped once in many of the beautiful wooded areas.  It was
wonderful for soul-searching and healing.  I also discovered TONS of neat
areas full of history.

I quit the job I had in 1961, and went off solo to Europe for three years. 
I lived first in London, where I supported myself tutoring, and then in
the Netherlands, where I had a real job at a university in Eindhoven. The
summer of 1962 I took a solo motorbike tour of Europe, through 12
countries. It was great - but I sure wouldn't do it again.

I'm working up to it, Denise.  For two reasons.  I still feel a little wierd
when I find that I have several hours alone and I end up wandering downtown
windowshopping or something.  Good -- but wierd.

I don't want to get too far from company until I can fill a day on the town
without feeling guilty or lonely.

And since the places I most want to see are in Europe, I will defacto be quite
a long way from company.  (I'm painfully shy, so the fact is I may well end
up meeting very few people on my travels.  Then again, I might surprise
myself.  ;>)

This response has been erased.

Valerie, when Marcus and I went to Sweden we stayed in a youth hostel.  It
was Scandinavia in December -- Marcus found several new people to talk to,
I didn't even see anyone (other than grocery store clerks) unless and until
Marcus introduced us.  It was wierd.  I wonder if I see people as a part of
the scenery unless they approach me first, or whether Marcus has people radar.

That's part of why I expect my solo travels to be more or less exercises in
solitude.  But that's not all bad.  I really would like to get to know me
better.  (I've heard I can be pretty cool company.  ;>)

I'm not very good at meeting people.  Most of my solo trips have been
exercises in solitude, as you say.  But that's nice too, and I do now and then
manage to strike up a conversation with people.

Rane, I'm curious to hear more [if you don't mind sharing the
stories] of why you thought the motorbike trip through Europe
was great but that you sure wouldn't do it again!? 

Valerie, I often do that, too--bringing something to read with me
at a restaurant. Its a nice 'prop;' sometimes for people-watching
without it being so obvious!  ;-)

Hmmm...I can't imagine a meal without either a companion or a book.

I think I'd like to backpack through India some day, too.  But I'm
not at all sure what I'd do about shelter ... does India have hostels?

Re #21: My "Three Months on a Motorbike" has too many stories to tell. I
was living in England, and bought a small bike to get around, and then a
350 cc Triumph to visit the Continent. I think I travelled 7,000 mile,
mostly camping, with lots of visits to caves and with speleologists.
However a whole day on a bike leaves one numb, if not partially paralyzed
- even on a 4-stroke.The following year I toured Spain, but that was a
short trip!  But one can get saturated even with adventure - especially
with just one kind of adventure. My subsequent trips to Europe were by
plane, train, and rented cars. 

There are times when I really enjoy being alone.  Mostly that's when I'm
trying to get work done, although being alone and reading or sometimes taking
a nice long walk alone can be nice as well.  Still, I find that for most
things that don't require a lot of concentration, it is nice to be with other
people, as long as the other people are people I like.  Especially with things
like traveling, it's really nice to be able to share the experience with
somebody.

This response has been erased.

Yep, there ARE a lot of times when having friends/people you
enjoy to have with you on adventures,.  

Though I was just mainly curious about  hearing more stories, ideas, comments
for those of us that are new to solo travel.  For a lot of us, it
never even occured to us that this could be fun!  [as can travel with others.]

Valerie, I do that, too-- plan on reading while eating out... But in some
siturations, its more
interesting to people watch [depending on the people and/or the stuff being
read! :-)  ]

I was recently in London alone.  It was great.  The only thing though, was
I wanted a lot to go into some of the pubs, but it was sort of intimidating.
Finally, I ran into a co-worker who was also there alone.  He and I then went
into a few pubs and it was really nice.  Now, it would not be intimidating
and I would certainly go into one by myself.  

British pubs are very unlike American bars. They are usually well lit, and
just a bunch of people socializing while drinking bitter. It is nicer with
companions, but people will be friendly and talk to you if you talk to them.

The unusual thing about them, from an American's perspective, is they don't
walk around and check your glass and keep asking you if you want another. 
I got the feeling there is no pressure to buy another one unless you want one.

In fact, you have to go get it yourself (at the bar). And, the owner usually
lives upstairs with his/her family. The bathrooms aren't any cleaner, though..
8^{

re #29:  If you have consumed bitter, and want another, you've probably
         already had "one too many." ;)

Funny ... that's my opinion of most American style beers.

Agreed.

They are different beverages. Using the generic term "beer" fgor both of them
just confuses the issue and leads to comparisons. I like both beverages.

mta, i read about ur wish to go backpacking in India. yes u do have hostels
all over the place.. if u need more info, do ask

Oh, I will!

BLAH BLAH BLAH SHUT UP
STUPID BITCH YOU SHOULD JUST STAY IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN WITH A APRON AND HAVE
BABIES 

It sad to see a person so hard up they have to ration thoughts.

Indeed.  And then to use poor grammar to express the non-thoughts.  What a
desolate life.

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss