THE MAMMOGRAM

This is an X- Ray that has its own name because no one wants to actually say
the word "breast". (Specially not on AOL.)

Mammoprgrams require your breasts to do gymnastics.  If you have extremely
agile breasts, you should do fine.  Most breasts, however, pretty much hang
around doing nothing in particular(unless feeding or pleasing), so they're
woefully unprepared for the MAMMOGRAM.

But you can prepare for a mammogram right at home using these simple
exercises:

Exercise 1:  Refrigerate two bookends overnight.  Lay one of your breasts
(either will do) between the two bookends and smash the bookends together as
hard as you can.  Repeat three times daily.

Exercise 2:  Locate a pasta maker or old wringer-washer.  Feed the breast
into the machine and start cranking.  Repeat twice daily.

Exercise 3:  (Advanced)  Situate yourself comfortably on your side on the
garage floor.  Place one of your breasts snugly behind the rear tire of the
family van.  When you give the signal have your husband slowly ease the car
into reverse.  Hold for five seconds.  Repeat on the other side.

Now you are fully prepared to have your annual mammogram.

23 responses total.

<laughs until her chest hurts> Perhaps this is manly revenge for the dreaded
prostate exam?

Ouch!  I guess I had agile brewasts at 29 when I had a mammogram because I
had nothing resembling this.  (And now I'm not sure I want to get get that
new one my Dr. has ordered.)

re 1# is that something to be feared otter?

Nothing to be feared, clees. It's just that most men don't like it.

Sounds like the typical of men towards life.
I don't like it, it doesn't do anything with
me. I doesn't turn me on.
er.. I meant to say, typical attitude.

<lol at mammogram comparisons>  I have to print this out for my mother...

It doesn't sound like the ones I've had.  It does make a difference where I
am in  the menstrual cycle -- and they warned me about that, but then required
me to make the appointment so far in advance that I couldn't make an accurate
prediction.

The last one I had (Dec 24) was absolutely agonizing.
Good thing: There was a heating pad warming the device until the last 
moment.
Bad thing: Instant black and green bruising. No kidding. It was torture 
to drive home, and I ended up taking the day off work instead of going in 
after the test as planned. Kept me away from lifting weights for about 10 
days, too.
Good thing: Won't have to do it again for at least 3 years. (5 if I were 
to decide against impending HRT, but HRT is probably right for me and my 
situation.) <sigh>

I've actually been trying to talk my doc into getting me one, although she's
still thinking I'm too young.  However, with my family history,  I'd rather
be safe now.  (I have a cousin that was 34 when diagnosed....that's still
considered "too young" to have a base mammogram done)

However, I've heard nothing but horror stories from my mother, although
nothing as bad as bruising.  I know some company was doing ads not too long
ago about how they had developed a new type of mammogram that didn't smush
you....hand held I believe.  What ever happened to that?

That device may be expensive, and the hospitals near you do not currently have
them. 

I will stick to my monthly self exams, I had one mammogram and it wasn't a
good experience.

I stick to them too, however, I tend to be really lumpy by nature..so it
sometimes gets confusing.

Current studies show that mammograms really aren't the benefit that they have
been claimed to be.  There isn't any difference between normal monthly self
exams and regular mammograms in life expectancy.  Nevertheless, I am scheduled
for one on March 12.  As my Dr says, the verdict is still out and they really
don't hurt anything so we'll do it anyway.  My last one was about 10 years
ago.  Now that I have the magic 50 mark I get to start on all sorts of
interesting tests that are basically unpleasant.

Yeah, my mother refers to them as her lube and oil change.

A mammogram can make a difference, though....like oh hey, that lump really
ought not to be there, while the rest of the lumps are fine.

I realize that part of my issue is paranoia.  Both of my grandmother's had
it, and my mother's grandmother and great grandmother both died of breast
cancer.  Of my grandmothers, one lived through it, the other did not.  (I
also know that a huge part of these stats are timeperiod and modern
medicine)

Factors which increase the risk of breast cancer are eating animals or animal
products, obesity, and not having been pregnant.  You can reduce your risk
by changing your diet and getting pregnant at 15.  Early menopause also helps.

Well, actually, all of those are wrong.  They haven't found any real links
to diet, pregnancy has nothing whatsoever to do with it (not that most
people are trying to get preggers at 15), and obesity can affect heart
disease, but not cancer.  Things that *do* affect it are some genetic
predispositions (although they are still doing alot of research on that
one), some drugs do up it (birth control pills are the biggy), and there is
a deffinate link between breast cancer and melanoma.  (If you've had one,
you have a much higher risk of getting the other)  From what I understand,
you have a much higher risk of breast cancer *after* menopause than before.

Before handing out information, please make sure that it's correct.

Okay, so I did some talking to my mother, who gave me this info:

 Early onset of
puberty and late menopause seems to be greater risks.  Pregnancy (early
and often) seems to reduce the risk.  The reason for both is this:
Estrogen exposure seems to increase the risk of
 breast cancer.  Pregnancy reduces the exposure to estrogen during the
time of the pregnancy.  You will notice that I use the word "seems"
often.  The genetic risk is well documented.  The other risks are still
under investigation.

Obesity seems to be a factor in post menopausal women.  Age is
definitely a factor. 

She also said that she could find no link between animal protiens and breast
cancer, but that it could be that there is a link between the growth-hormone
drugs they give some animals and cancer.

(before the question comes up: My mother is an RN with 20 years experiance
and has a personal stake in the matter, thanks to that genetic thing)

I figured that it would be best I got my wrong bits corrected early on.

Thanks for the info.  From what I read, the level of estrogen (which induces
breast cell proliferation and sometimes therefore cancer) is higher in people
who are obese and/or who eat a lot of animal fats and/or foods which contain
estrogen or similar hormones which can be easily made into estrogen.  People
who do not eat animal products and therefore probably do not eat much
saturated fat have a much reduced incidence of breast and other cancers.  THe
Japanese used to have low breast cancer rates until they switched to a Western
diet.   The breasts finish developing to their final condition during the
first pregnancy (which is why it reduces breast cancer to get pregnant early)
and estrogen levels are lower during a pregnancy.  Prehistoric women who were
pregnant or nursing most of the time probably had much lower average estrogen
levels.  They also probably did not live to an old enough age to die of
cancer.  I don't know why obese people get more cancer - possibly there is
more available fat to make more hormones out of.
        A small percentage of cancers are due to genetic susceptibility, but
you can still reduce the environmental predisposing factors.

Actually, they caution people who eat a lot of soy products that they are also
increasing their estrogen levels, which isn't a good thing either.

The risks for getting breast cancer are being a woman, family history, diet,
life style, enviroment, and fate.  A *lot* of women get breast cancer for
various reasons, there is no conclusive answers to why some women get this
and others don't.  It happens, it sucks, and having a bunch of cells that
think anarchy rules is never pleasant.  Many men typically go through similiar
situations with both testicular cancer (in younger men) and prostate cancer
(in older men).  All of them can mostly be detectable *if* you get to know
your body and know the signs.  It is all about education.

(jiff will now end her hormonal-induced cancer rant)

No, please, continue to rant on....I don't mind.  :)

My mother's response to the pregnancy creating a lower risk twords breast
cancer was "Early and Often!". She said it pretty chipperly, too.  It was
kinda irritating.

Men can also get breast cancer.

Of course, although it's a bit more rare.  However, it's out there a lot
more than they really say....when people talk about breast cancer, they
pretty much focus on women.

Heh.  Is being a guy with breast cancer more or less socially accepted &
supported than being a hermaphrodite?

Probably more, but not by much.  Which is really really a shame.  I think
it's something that people just don't understand.

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