Jdeigert (Jim) and keesan (Sindi) both wonder why people enjoy wearing such
items as (from the bottom up):  high heeled pointy shoes, nylons and garter
belts or panty hose, girdles, slips, bras, makeup, perfume, jewelry and other
things that are typically worn by women.  We both realize that we are the odd
ones in that I, as a woman, have never been interested in them, and Jim (a
man in case the name did not give him away) does not find them sexy, just odd.
We have read various theories, but would anyone who actually enjoys dressing
this way explain why?  No offense of any sort intended, this is just something
neither of us understands, and we are obviously in a minority.  Does it make
you feel different to dress in more gender-specific clothing?  Do people treat
you differently depending how you dress.  (Studies have shown this to be the
case - women in high heels get more offers of help opening doors, men in ties
get more job interviews).  Do you find yourself able to act differently when
you dress differently?  Does it affect your mood?  Your manners?  Do you put
on a different personality with a change in outfits?

73 responses total.

Well, some of those items are necessary when you dress up (a slip under a
filmy dress, nylons to cover your legs, etc), but I don't like high heels.
I tend to wear flats or something with a small, square heel.  I wear a bra
because if I don't, my nipples show through fabric, and the bouncing around
is pretty painful.  Plus, they tend to give your breasts the tiniest lift and
some shape.  I hate when I can tell someone isn't wearing one.  

Jewelry is a decorative thing, and I like wearing my earrings or barettes
because they accentuate the outfit...make it less boring, I guess.  A person
looks "put-together" with a pair of earrings or a pin.  Well, I've seen some
nice outfits sans accessories, too, but those tend to be weekend wear.  =)
I don't usually wear jewelry with a sweatshirt and jeans...just when I'm
wearing a nicer outfit.

Don't do heels, ever.  Don't do panty hose (am allergic to nylon).

Don't wear bras (see above, just try to find one without nylon, can be done
but is quite difficult) and can't find one that fits right, am low busted
and the straps are too short.  Would like to find something that fits and
doesn't drive me crazy with itching as I am beginning to sag after nursing
two kids.

Don't wear dresses often, probably have worn a dress/skirt less than 10 times
in the last 15 years.  Prefer jeans and t-shirts or sweats.  When forced to
by a job I will wear nice slacks and co-ordinating shirt/blouse and maybe a
vest.

I do like to dress up on occasion, but usually that means Medieval garb for
a SCA event.

The only time I feel different about what I am wearing is when I am in "garb"
because I then become a 12 century Welsh/Scots "Lady".

I get compliments when I wear other than the usual jeans, but won't give up
compfort for compliments.

Wear make-up even less often than I wear dresses/skirts.

Hmmmm. Let's see. I have *always* had to wear a bra -- no two ways about
it when you're my size, unless you want to beat yourself up when you run.
But I recently found some lace and coloured ones that really did make me
feel more feminine when I wore them -- just because they're so pretty and
lacy and all that. I only wear nylons when I dress up, like going to a big
party or a wedding, that kind of thing, but I wear long dresses and skirts
almost all the time. I like skirts much better than pants. They feel better.
Makeup is something that I never wore, never felt comfortable with, but since
my mother-in-law's death, I've collected quite a stash of lipsticks and eye
shadows and other things -- because I do feel more "girly" when I wear it.
Jewelry -- I wear a ring all the time, and earrings and necklaces less often,
but I like it. It's pretty and it is fun to look at and play with....

I wish I could get away with not wearing a bra but I'd need to be several
sizes smaller.

I often wear a bracelet I've had for over fifteen years and my class ring. 
But I'll take them off if I go biking, fishing, etc.  What I have trouble
understanding is people who wear wedding bands while scuba diving as I'd
be petrified of losing it.

I own one bottle of perfume.  Once in a blue moon I actually use it.  Sort
of in the sense of a child playing dress up.

What I love about my job is that 80% of the time I can show up in t-shirt,
shorts, sneakers, and a cap.  I have worked "suit jobs" in the past but
have not put on any of those suits in years.  I do own dresses but only
wear them when necessary.

The last time I left the house with make-up was to have my high school
senior photo taken.  I only wore make-up because the cap & gown in which
we were photographed, were white (for girls) My college cap & gown were
black so no make-up was deemed necessary (by me)

Since it looks like the majority of people responding so far prefer to dress
for comfort rather than dress up in specifically female clothing, jdeigert
speculates that people who participate in electronic conferences get less
satisfaction from the common social interchanges that require adherence to
clothing standards.  (I. e., they wear certain clothing only on occasions when
it is expected of them, not because they enjoy it per se).

He has a point.  When I worked in an office, I was out of those clothes within
a half-hour or so.  By the time I log on or make dinner, I'm in jeans.

Oh, I really enjoy getting dressed-up now and then and going
out to a fine restraurant and concert.  I can be just as
comfortable dressy as casual.  Doing it infrequently though
is probably what makes keeps it fun.

A friend of mine made the point recently that social expectations are nice
as long as they aren't _really_ expected.  Most people recognize that it would
drive them crazy to have to wear ultra-formal clothing all the time, but it's
my friend's theory that we would also go crazy if there weren't some
established standard of formal clothing that we could go by if we wanted to.
I think that makes a lot of sense.  

Hmm.  At work, everyone dresses pretty much the same way.  When I go out with
friends, people tend to dress casual, even those who might dress more formally
for work.  Maybe it's the group of people I know in general - we all prefer
to dress for comfort.  Of course, most of us also have internet connections.
Maybe we're all geeks who socialize both on and off the net :)

My standard of clothing usually implies it has to be worn.  (Ever try chasing
a five-year-old boy in attempts to get him to put on ANY clothes before the
guests arrive?)

Bras are necessity for me. Need the lift. But I go for the most comfy 
ones possible. Eddie Bauer makes some great cotton ones. They hold up 
(ha ha) a long time too. Forgot the exact cost.

I only wear neutral colored hose or black hose. Tan looks stupid on me 
because I'm so white. White hose are pointless because people think I 
wear white hose as it is, I'm so pale. Yeek!

I like to wear black tights, they're actually quite comfy. I have so 
many perfume bottles that I'll be 40 before I can use them all up. (No, 
I don't wear tons every day, I just like variety). I have a drawerful of 
makeup, but today I'm doing my usual of mascara, some eyeliner (I have 
small eyes and a little bit on the outside corners makes them appear 
bigger), and powder. Lipstick is cool but I get tired of reapplying it.

Like Mary said, it's just fun to dress up sometimes. I prefer skirts 
over dresses... I usually don't do a dress unless it's something like a 
wedding or some formal thing. I hate shopping for dresses; most of them 
make me look like a grandma or something. They're either these tiny 
things I can't fit into or these huge, drape-like things. Or they're 
little girlish... lace collars? bows? little flowery things? Puke. 

My office is "business casual" and I tend to dress a step or so up from the
standard. As a rule, I am *much* more comfortable in a skirt or dress than
pants because I'm a tough fit in pants. (small, high waist and wide hips)
I've found that by taking the time to shop carefully, I can find dressy
clothes that fit well and feel good.
Most of my office shoes have a 1.5" - 2" heel. My dancing shoes are all 3"
and I like them fine because I dance on the balls of my feet anyway. I have
never owned a pair of shoes that truly fit, so maybe I'm accustomed to a
certain level of discomfort and that's why heels are OK with me. <shrug> And
I'm probably going to Hell for this, but I like the way they look.
We'll get to the subject of frilly underthings later...

At 5'9" some heels make me feel like I'm in Attack of the 50 FT Woman. 
Skinny heels I never learned to walk in. My ankles wobble too much. I'm 
glad clunky, thick heels are in style; the wide base makes them easy to 
wear. 

How does it make people feel to wear clothing that is not in style?

Depends on the person.

I think Grex is likely to have a much greater percentage of people who don't
care about clothing that much.  Computer people, don't ya know.

At my office most people dress fairly casual, T-shirts being OK but not
common.  There are 2 people (one male, one female) who dress up even though
it is not required.  They are both programmers, though, which is not typical.
Usually the guy who dresses up is the only one in the office (10 people)
wearing a tie.  
(Both are good programmers, so they don't have any skills weakness to cover
up with fancy clothes)

I don't really care about fashion, and most of my clothes are pretty standard
anyway.  Basic shirts, pants, skirts, etc make up my wardrobe.  If I like a
new style, I'll wear it, but not because it's in "vogue".  It may just fit
me.  I often scoff at things that are out of fashion, but that's because
they're ugly and not because they're "out-of-date".  (leisure suits, polyester
golf pants, etc)

Polyester leisure suits are out of fashion?  Uh-oh.

I wouldn't know what *is* in style.  I wear what I like.  What I've also
noticed is that I generally like the same thing over time; if a fad comes
through and I pick it up from someone, they will have moved onto something
new and I'll still wear it because I'll still like it.

I certainly spend enough time in front of a computer to be called a computer
person :)

What professions require you to dress more fashionably?  And how do people
who have to keep up with the fashions figure out what is required?  I suppose
you could look at what other people wear, but how to tell which ones to
imitate?

People I know who are in sales (especially when they have to make 
calls at customer's offices) almost always have to dress up. I guess if 
you want to be fashionably hip, you go to the stores and check out the 
newest stuff. Then you try on all those things and see what is 
flattering and what isn't. Capri pants have made this huge comeback... 
they're all over the place. I have yet to even try a pair on. I just 
don't think they'd look good on me. Some people can wear them fine, but 
I think on me it would just look like they shrunk in the wash. 

I don't do trendy things either... I hate it when you look back on some 
things you wore and think "What alien entered my head and made me wear 
that?". I do like to reinvent my wardrobe though. I hate ruts of any 
kind. I think we constantly have to reinvent ourselves. 

Some of my clothes are more than ten years old.  My friends are amazed by the
lack of holes in most.  Jeans, on the other hand, seem to acquire holes quite
often.  Shirts and sweatshirts seem to stand the test of time.

Most of my clothes are more than ten years old.  I don't like baggy shirts
which are all that have been made since 1985 or so until recently.  Or
high-cut legs on underwear or bathing suits.  My bathing suit is 1970s.

That is my bathing suit size, I think. 8^}

If I could wear clothes from ten years ago, I'd be in heaven.  (I was twelve
and weighed all of 124 pounds).  ;-)

Have to start looking for "real" clothes.  The lab I work at (in jeans and
t-shirts) is being closed at the end of July so I have to get interview
clothes (unless I accept the offered transfer to Chicago) and stuff to
wear at the new job (Chicago office has "office casual" dress code - whatever
the hell that means).  One of the reasons I loved this job was because I
didn't have to "dress up".

office casual: show up in a suit the first day and see what everyone else is
wearing, then proceed to buy clothes of that nature to wear from then on

(that's what I've done in the past ;)

That's a good policy. 

Well, I'm one of those freaks who *likes* to dress up.  But only when 
it's my idea.  ;)

For work, I wear a blazer over neutral slacks with a silk shell or a 
nice blouse.  That seems to work pretty well wherever I work.  I have a 
few dressy suits for interviews and contracts at more formal 
businesses, but am thankful that I haven't had to wear them beyond the 
first week anywhere, yet.  (I wear them one a month or so, anyway, just 
to prove that I can.)

For casual, I like to wear loosely fitting, drapy slacks and a nice 
blouse.  I own a couple of sweatshirts and a couple of t-shirts, but if 
you see me in one, you can pretty much bet that either I've been too 
busy to do laundry for a month or so or that I'm badly depressed and in 
my "I don't care how I look, I don't care if I'm comfortable, Go Away!" 
mood.  I don't own a pair of real jeans, bit someone recently gave me a 
bunch of "structured" casual pants -- I don't wear them often, but I 
keep them for when I'm low on clean laundry.  They pinch and pull in 
all the wrong places, but it's better than trying to run errands 
naked.  

For date night, I like mini-skirts and high heels, sometimes with 
panyhose or tights, sometimes with stockings and a garter belt.  
Usually I wear them with sheer or low cut blouses.

Why?  <shrug>  I like the way they make me feel.  I like the way they 
make me look.  And best of all, I like the way they make my husband's 
face light up.  But it's all about playing dressup.  If I fel any 
pressure to dress that way, I get obstinate and wear frumpies for a 
month. And I refuse to be cold.  If it's below 40 degrees outside I 
*am* wearing trousers and a sweater, thankyouverymuch!  <laugh>  

In short, comfort matters to me, but I love to play dressup.  I look 
for comfortable shoes and clothes that play up my sense of play, and 
then I run with it.  ;)

Do women dress up for themselves, for other women, or for men?

It would depend on the woman.  The only time I'd dress up is to "fit in" -
i.e. if I'm working at a place where everyone else is in suits, I'd put on
a suit.  I also tend to dress up for pictures (and promptly change when photos
are done) Not sure why.

abc's right, it depends. Unfortunately it's been my experience that 
women who dress solely for men seem to be pretty shallow. I do have an 
acquaintance that admits to dressing only for men. And she will go out 
with any guy who gives her the time of day. She's in her 30s and is what 
people would call "boy crazy". Which is ok when you're 15 I guess.

Plus, it seems so backwards, so weird to me to dress only for men. It's 
like this is YOUR body, decorate it how you wish. To break it down to 
where it's just a rack to hang clothes on for men to admire disturbs me.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with wanting to wear something 
your husband/boyfriend whatever likes to see you in. I speak of dressing 
for men in general, hoping to catch their eye. If you don't want to 
dress as a means of expressing to the world a part of who you are, then 
what is to stop you from, say, molding your opinions or actions to fit 
another's idea of what you should be?

... my 2 cents. :) 

I dress for me.  Or the way I have to for work.  *shrug*  If the men in 
my life don't like that, that's their problem.  I like to dress up, 
sometimes, but usually the dressing up is just part of something else 
that is fun.  As it turns out, my S.O. thinks overalls are the sexiest 
clothing article I own... and I usually wear them when I'm feeling fat 
and want to wear something really baggy to hide my body.... or I did, 
before he revealed this little fettish to me.  I still wear them when 
I'm feeling fat, but I have to admit that it is a little boost to know 
that even when I'm wearing my hide my body clothes, someone thinks I 
look good.

I'd think men admire the less-made up, non-anorexic healthy look much 
more. Most guys I talk to think so anyway.

I can only speak for myself, of course, but I dress for me.

I wear things that I like and things that make me feel good.  I don't care
how much someone else likes it, if I don't, I won't wear it.  If I like it,
but don't feel like it, I won't wear it.

(Well, there are a few exceptions, I guess.  When I go to visit my mother
every few years, I will wear pastels because it matters so much to her -- and
it's a few days every few years.  And I'll wear something my husband likes,
whether I like it or not on his birthday every year, as long as we go
someplace I won't see anyone I'll ever see again.  <grin>)

I think when I was yoinger, I did dress much more for men than for myself.
But I kept getting involved with men who thought that t-shirt and jeans were
all anyone needed. Ick.  I hate dressing down -- it made me feel awful and
ugly.

Unless it's a plain shirt, pant or short, I'll usually run
a new outfit by John.  I look for his opinion because he'll
have to be looking at me in the stuff, so it should be 
something he likes.  Too, he is a good critic and will tell
me if something just doesn't work.  I think there has only
been one or two purchases he didn't like, and they went back.

So I guess I dress to please the two of us.

I think Misti dresses very nicely (artistically) and probably pleases everyone
else with it, not just herself.  (This does not of course mean that I will
go to the bother of dressing nicely, but I do appreciate when other people
do so).  If I dress up it is to make other people feel good.

I think it was Coco Chanel who said something like "It's good to dress 
up... if anything, it's a wonderful thing to do for other people." :)

I am a bit varied iin the way I dress.  It is mainly by mood.  

I have both high heels and flats, and I really don't have a preference.
Clothing is about one's self.  You wear what you find confy.  Most of the
times I can comfy in almost any of my clothing, except on anti-clothing days
(which coinside with "we should all stay in bed" days)

I wear uncomfortable dressup clothing to make other people comfortable.  I
feel fake in uncomfortable clothing.

Thanks, Sindi.  ;)

You have "anti-clothing" days, too, jiffer?  Mine usually happen when it's
hot and muggy outside and even a t-shirt is as hot as a wool sweater.

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