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22 responses total.
Hmm, I think I tend to use the word in the way you describe. I've not been conscious of a gender difference in its use, although perhaps there is one. I do agree that it's a self-effacing mannerism.
I just don't know.
I hadn't noticed a gender gap, hadn't thought about it. But it has a trivializing effect, whether used about a person or an activity, and maybe males are less likely to put themselves down?
I actually worjk with someone who calls people and says, "Hi, this is just <her name>".
A particular annoyance to me is when I enter a restaiurant to eat alone and
the person who greets you says, "Just one?" I never say it but I always think
. . ."isn't one enough?"ey{w{
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And that extends to all sorts of things other than eating. I think it is part of the men are supposed to be individuals while women are supposed to be parts of a collective identity thing. Pardon my terrible English, but I'm hungry.
For some things, it used to be that the behavior was not considered *safe* for women (walking alone after dark, e.g.) so a woman who engaged in [whatever] was presumed to be indifferent to her *safety*, hence strange.
Whattay mean, "WAS not considered safe"? It still ain't safe, and many women are painfully aware of that.
Walking alone after dark *in some places* is not safe, as many
people of either sex know to their sorrow. However, ("e.g." means
"for the sake of an example" and that's what I meant) as far as I
know merely sitting alone in a restaurant is not particularly
dangerous now, yet there was a time when women expected not to do
*anything* in public alone. (Or was that just the "ladies", showing off?
My knowledge of social history is less than my interest)
I don't know. It can't be a result of men trivializing our actions. If a man trivializes me, I might "just" have to kick his ass! It's something we say. Not them. That makes it our problem. I say it too sometimes, but I vow NEVER to say it again.
I think maybe you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Perhaps its *just* a word that happens to get used alot. I don't believe that society or anyone else has conditioned women to use *just* to belittle them. Maybe it does have to do with low self-esteem, but I don't think anyone caused it in most cases. As to my opinion about women eating alone...I think most men assume (incorrectly) that any women can easily have friends or lovers or any of the like. So when a woman is alone I think men instictively feel something must be wrong with that woman. A man on the other hand understands that other men have problems sometimes in social situations. The same idea applied in High School- At dances a guy could go stag, but a woman? I guess we still live in a society that is gender biased.
I for one, don't assume anything is wrong with a woman who is eating alone.
Can you honestly say that when you've been in aresturaunt, not a bar, that you did not notice a woman dining alone and at least wonder why???
I might notice (or I might not), but I would *not* assume anything was wrong.
fair enough
I'd probably assume that anyone eating alone at a nice restaurant is traveling on business. It took me awhile to get used to that.
I can honestly say that when I'm dining in a restaurant and I see a woman dining alone I do not wonder why. I assume its because she's hungry. :-)
Gee, I've seen men eating alone and wondered why. I've seen women eating alone and ignored them. I use just a lot too. I agree, though, that it's usually self-deprecating. On the phone, I'll say, "It's just me," and kick myself at the same time for doing it.
popcorn sucks
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