Grex Enigma Conference

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Grex Enigma Item 76: Sonnet
Entered by remmers on Wed Aug 12 03:23:57 UTC 1992:

        I was eating a banana
        Down in good old Texarcana
        When a buffalo gal named Anna
        Came a-knockin' at my door.

        So I quickly hid the peel
        Underneath my glockenspiel,
        For a simple monkey's meal
        I was sure she would abhor.

        Then I opened wide the portal
        For to greet this female mortal,
        But suppressed a sudden chortle
        When quoth Anna, "Nevermore".

           If this be error and upon me proved,
           I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

20 responses total.

#1 of 20 by remmers on Mon Sep 14 04:01:35 1992:

Well?

#2 of 20 by md on Mon Sep 14 12:35:11 1992:

Note how the measure actually starts on the third syllable
of each line:  Then I // opened wide the portal For to // greet
the female mortal, But sup // pressed a sudden chortle When
quoth // Anna, "Nevermore".  If one were to set the poem to
music - and the poem fairly screams to be set to music except
for the clunky last two lines - that's how you'd have to do it.
There's really no other way.  That's really about all you could do.
That's it.  C'est tout.  Case closed.  No more options.  This is
not a terribly empowering thought, I know, but there are times
when to be empowered is to lose all sense of what is right and
proper.  In fact, a banjo accompaniment is an absolute must.
Except for those last two lines, of course.  I wish Mr. Snord
would do something about that.

#3 of 20 by remmers on Mon Sep 14 19:11:47 1992:

Yeah, the last two lines are the Achilles heel, all right.
Best I could come up with at the time, but in all honesty I'd
have to call them an uninspired piece of hackwork.

#4 of 20 by md on Mon Sep 14 20:41:37 1992:

Hey, we all have our off days.

#5 of 20 by remmers on Tue Sep 15 00:06:37 1992:

The trick is to feel okay in our offness.

#6 of 20 by carl on Thu Feb 18 22:26:36 1993:

No, I didn't take any offness.  And Shakespeare's on de fence.  Snord
goes long...

#7 of 20 by vidar on Sun Oct 3 21:27:59 1993:

Quoth Vidar "I think not."

#8 of 20 by aahz on Mon Oct 4 22:02:17 1993:

Quoth the woodchuck...."D'oh!"

#9 of 20 by vidar on Tue Oct 5 01:46:05 1993:

Shouldn't that be "Quoth Homer Simpson"?

#10 of 20 by orinoco on Sat Aug 23 21:57:22 1997:

Look, Tricia - a convert!
Woodchuck fans are just coming out of the woodwork.
Or perhaps vice versa.

#11 of 20 by snowth on Sun Aug 24 01:25:25 1997:

Wow! I am amazed! Tho hast quoted from the holy book of woodchuck! (Now, if
only we could get more to recognize the holy faith of the osterizer.)

#12 of 20 by orinoco on Sun Aug 24 17:18:08 1997:

I wonder what a woodwork fan would look like, coming out of a woodchuck.

#13 of 20 by snowth on Mon Aug 25 18:45:31 1997:

I don't know. Not terribly attractive. He'd probably be covered in woodchuck
guts.

#14 of 20 by orinoco on Mon Aug 25 20:27:33 1997:

Most likely.  Icky.

#15 of 20 by snowth on Tue Aug 26 05:11:54 1997:

Would that be better or worse then non-sentimental mushy stuff?

#16 of 20 by orinoco on Wed Aug 27 22:09:01 1997:

Don't ask...

#17 of 20 by snowth on Thu Aug 28 03:52:16 1997:

Too late.

#18 of 20 by jaklumen on Mon May 27 08:01:33 2002:

It ain't dope rhymin'.

#19 of 20 by gelinas on Fri Dec 20 01:31:54 2002:

Wood-working wood-chucks would not write poems about Anna.  Woo-Donna, now,
may be.

#20 of 20 by jaklumen on Fri Dec 20 08:17:44 2002:

Woo-Donna was a phat hoe with a ghetto booty for days.

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