You are a wonderful, beautiful person,
        But you write like a moron.

        No offense.

36 responses total.

Thanks, but i suggest that you get new glasses in the very near future.

How exactly does a moron write?  I'd like an example, please.

Who said we are wonderful, beautiful people?

        So many questions, so few answers. Please try to be
        more specific.

There is a good example of how a moron writes in #0.

So one can tell morons by their
        indented lines?

Does the previous paragraph make me truely moronic, or merely half-assed?

alright!!!!!!!!1
an item dedicated to me!
thanks, john

Are you responsible for this?

This is enigma.  Responsibility is contrary to conference policy.
Troublemakers are force-fed tofuburgers fried in Olestra until they
reform and beg forgiveness.

I am irresponsible for this.
Sometimes I am just plain irresponsible.

You could say that again. but you don't have to. I wouldn't mind if you
didn't. In fact, it may be preferable. But you could.

"my cat's breath smells like cat food"
                                        ------ralph wiggam

Is that *THE* Ralph Wiggam?

animatedly so

<remmers wonders who Ralph Wiggam is>

And how does he know iggy's cat?

ralph wiggam is a character on the simpsons. his dad is
the police chief.

Ah, of course.

Why, that just makes everything infinately better. Thank you.

What sort of world are we living in, when police chiefs' sons have more free
licence to comment on their cats' breath than the rest of us law-abiding
citizens?

And is it 'chiefs' or 'chieves'?

Chives, anyone? Or maybe a coffee milkshake?

Soft tofu and chocolate Ovaltine, creamed in a blender with raw eggs and
orange liquour.  A nutritionally complete and balanced breakfast that
you can make in literally 2 minutes, then eat in 1 more with a beer bong.
Start your day the Grand Marnier way!

Are police chiefs' sons respected more than fire chefs' daughters, or less
than mimes lip syncing naked on the high wire?

Is a mime ever really naked if he doesn't skimp with the make-up?  Does a
tree fall silently in the woods if there's only a mime there to hear?  How
do mimes pronounce the word "mime"?

Less.

Yes. Yes. "mime."

Any more questions?

Only they say it very quietly. So as not to cause avalanches.

    Trumpet player:  Where's my mute?
    Wiseacre:        You mean that silent guy who was wandering around?

Perhaps you were looking for your mime.  He was wandering around        [D[D
here a little while ago, but he vanished.

If mimes are seen but not heard, what do you call people you can hear but
not see?  

I call them radio personalities.

what about people you interact with by reading, and never see?

Usually they are pseudos.  Some are mere figments of my imagination. 
Claims have been made that some of them are real humans, but there is
no evidence to substantiate such foolishness.

Did you know that a simple diary lets you converse with your other
personalities, PicoSpan style?

'they' told me it wasnt a good idea.

who are they? men in white coats?

Alien agents from Dimension Q17.  They are very capable but rather lazy,
and tend to spend time slumming on Earth when they should be working.

I know.  i work with them.

More's the pity.

that sounds like some of the people I work with...

Yes, there's a reason why they find the Earth such a congenial place to
hang out.....i used "slumming" for that reason, amoung others.

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