Grex Enigma Conference

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Grex Enigma Item 304: Humane Item
Entered by remmers on Sun Aug 10 02:42:12 UTC 1997:

        I thought I was unfortunate because I had no answers,
        until I met a man who had no clue.

28 responses total.

#1 of 28 by orinoco on Sun Aug 10 22:47:37 1997:

Now you just need someone to unask you a question.

#2 of 28 by sekari on Thu Aug 14 05:44:14 1997:

that's easy
just tell them the answer beforehand

#3 of 28 by lee on Fri Sep 12 03:15:39 1997:

jeopardy?

#4 of 28 by orinoco on Fri Sep 12 22:17:13 1997:

Fair enough.  The answer is:
3 Cheese Danishes.

#5 of 28 by lee on Fri Sep 12 22:48:44 1997:

Only 3?
What about apple danishes?

#6 of 28 by orinoco on Sat Sep 13 14:26:08 1997:

Wrong, and wrong.
The correct question is,
"What is the second line of response number four"

#7 of 28 by lee on Sat Sep 13 22:00:06 1997:

<lee screams and runs in terror, remembering notebook quizzes>

#8 of 28 by i on Sun Sep 28 00:27:27 1997:

The dark power awakens.  Frightened travellers hint that a Final Exam may
be roaming the land, and the noonday sun seems dimmer.

#9 of 28 by orinoco on Sun Sep 28 20:22:12 1997:

The horror...the horror...

#10 of 28 by i on Wed Oct 8 00:22:38 1997:

In the following question, x is equal to the number of letters in your name
spelled backwards, y is is equal to the length of a ruler, and z is equal
to the number of math tests you've cheated on this year.

#11 of 28 by remmers on Wed Oct 8 20:18:00 1997:

The Following Question:

  (a) Compute x + y.
  (b) Compute 2x + 2y + 3z.

#12 of 28 by lee on Sat Oct 11 04:27:54 1997:

2*(a) + 3z = (b)

#13 of 28 by i on Sun Oct 19 00:48:40 1997:

Tubey, or not tubey?
A tuba is tubey,
a xylephone ain't.

#14 of 28 by lee on Sun Oct 19 02:51:16 1997:

what about trumpets?

#15 of 28 by remmers on Sun Oct 19 12:23:38 1997:

You are all flunking the Preceding Test my failing to answer,
or mis-answering, the Following Question. You better do something
about that, and quickly!

#16 of 28 by i on Fri Oct 24 00:38:03 1997:

The Following Question:  how many chocolate eclairs were lost when the
Titanic sank on her maiden voyage?

Answer quickly, lest we be as leaves in the wind before the wrath of the
Snord!

#17 of 28 by orinoco on Sun Oct 26 16:27:05 1997:

What exactly do leaves _do_ before the wrath of the Snord?

#18 of 28 by lee on Mon Oct 27 18:42:53 1997:

Turn strange colours?

#19 of 28 by orinoco on Wed Oct 29 00:02:31 1997:

A passable answer, indeed.

#20 of 28 by lee on Wed Oct 29 00:08:23 1997:

but is it plausible?

#21 of 28 by i on Wed Oct 29 02:08:17 1997:

Or better yet, pleasable.  
[The leaves just blow & swirl around in the wind, waiting for the Snord's 
wrath to arrive.  They're usually pretty bored with the whole thing.]

#22 of 28 by lee on Fri Oct 31 04:15:04 1997:

...Cheyenne legend about Ho-e-ma-ha, the Winter Man who lives
in the far north.
As the days grow shorter, Ho-e-ma-ha
begins his journey south.  Wherever his moccasins touch, the grass
withers and turns brown, the running streams are ice-locked and
stilled, and where he breathes, the leaves turn yellow and red.

#23 of 28 by remmers on Sat Nov 1 12:20:56 1997:

Should we notify the EPA about this dude?

#24 of 28 by orinoco on Sat Nov 1 21:15:13 1997:

Just sounds like a bad case of halitosis to me.

#25 of 28 by i on Sun Nov 2 14:25:29 1997:

Looks to me like there's some SERIOUS foot odor problems, too.

#26 of 28 by orinoco on Sun Nov 2 22:06:14 1997:

That's what happened when he followed your suggestion to wear a boot on his
head.

#27 of 28 by i on Sat Nov 15 18:28:42 1997:

Hmmph!  If he'd left the boot on his head & well-laced (instead of putting
it back on his foot), the halitosis would have been contained and the
foot odor prevented.  As it is, we'll probably have to spend the entire
GNP of Lower Slobovia on Odor Eaters and that of Upper Fastbovinia on 
Listerine.

#28 of 28 by lee on Wed Nov 19 01:51:14 1997:

boot to the head
(duh)

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