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Grex Enigma Item 255: The Worst Four-Line Poems of All Time [linked]
Entered by remmers on Thu Oct 8 03:32:27 UTC 1992:

        The eyes of the gorilla
        The mighty Kong
        Melted her heart
        At evensong.

                   -

        Three birds flew
        In V formation
        The Nina, the Pinta
        And the Sanitation.

                   -

        Let not to the marriage of true minds
        Admit impediments,
        Leastwise, those are my
        Sediments.

                   -

        Jack and Jill
        Went up the hill
        Jill and Jack
        Went in the sack.

                   -

        Squirrel, squirrel
        On the fence,
        Why oh why
        Is your fur so dense?

                   -

        The clock struck five,
        The sun rose with a yawn,
        The batter hit a Homer
        In the rosy-fingered dawn.

                   -

        I'd just as leave
        Leave the leaves
        Lying lifeless
        Beneath the trees.

                   -

        She cried me a river,
        That tearful hippie,
        Thus was formed the mighty
        Mississippi.

                   -

        Can you conjugate a verb?
        Can you cultivate an herb?
        Can you wait for me at the curb
        In this outlying suburb?

                   -

        Tales of Hoffman.
        The Vienna Woods.
        Boy that Strauss
        Really had the goods.

                   -

        Kojack, Baretta,
        Rockford, Mason.
        Four macho guys
        The crooks a'chasin'.

                   -

        I'm having some friends over
        For cookies and tea,
        They're coming in their Land Rover
        Just to see me.



53 responses total.



#1 of 53 by aa8ij on Thu Oct 8 17:47:05 1992:

 truly terrible.


#2 of 53 by shannara on Fri Oct 9 06:34:07 1992:

I don' know...I liked "Squirrel squirrel".


#3 of 53 by danr on Sat Oct 10 20:21:19 1992:

My cats liked the squirrel poem.


#4 of 53 by danr on Sat Oct 10 20:24:03 1992:

On the other hand, the rest of them... well, let's just say I had to
clean up a couple of hairballs.


#5 of 53 by katie on Sat Oct 10 21:44:11 1992:

And I bet the cats didn't like them, either.


#6 of 53 by autumn on Sun Oct 11 15:56:55 1992:

    Beauty for some provides escape,
    Who gain a happiness in eyeing
    The gorgeous buttocks of the ape
    Or Autumn sunsets exquisitely dying.
                  -Aldous Huxley
                   
I guess four-liners even stumped the big boys from time to time.


#7 of 53 by shannara on Wed Oct 14 02:55:18 1992:

White and fluffy,
Warm and Deep,
Wish I had
Another sheep...



Wait, no, this isn't alt.sex.beastiality!


#8 of 53 by carl on Thu Feb 18 22:46:02 1993:

I went to the creek to take a swim.
I hung my pants upon a limb.
I slipped and fell from the grass.
And landed in water up to my knees.

Sorry it didn't rhyme--the water wasn't deep enough.


#9 of 53 by remmers on Fri Feb 19 13:36:49 1993:

Turn to the left,
Then turn to the right,
Walk on your hands
In the middle of the night.


#10 of 53 by carl on Sat Feb 20 11:49:00 1993:

I sit here before the dawn,
Anticipating nature's yawn.
I've got a beagle upon my lap,
Anticipating her next nap.


#11 of 53 by chaz on Sat Feb 20 17:42:47 1993:

Finally awake at the crack on noon
Saturday night will be soon
ready to prowl, drink, and play
i guess i dint learn nutin yestarday


#12 of 53 by carl on Sun Feb 21 13:47:08 1993:

A tree
Sits gleefully,
In the shade
A cloud has made.


#13 of 53 by remmers on Mon Feb 22 02:17:49 1993:

(Sorry, that one's too good for this item.)


#14 of 53 by carl on Mon Feb 22 22:14:11 1993:

(Oops, I *promise* I'll do worse next time!)


#15 of 53 by ejkloos on Wed Jun 15 20:39:39 1994:

Roses are red
Voilets are blue
I have multiple personalities
And so do I


#16 of 53 by carl on Wed Jun 15 23:30:33 1994:

Spring has sprung,
Fall has fell,
It's summer again,
And hotter than usual.



#17 of 53 by rcurl on Thu Jun 16 05:15:38 1994:

The following is the first (four line) verse of a longer poem, that
goes on the the same manner (identify the manner?). I would like
to find the rest of it. (This is not a joke!)

The boy stood on the burning deck,
His fleece was white as snow.
He stuck a feather in his hat:
John Anderson, my Jo!


#18 of 53 by fuz on Thu Jun 16 18:24:29 1994:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Some peoms rhyme--
and some don't.


#19 of 53 by jkrauss on Sat Jun 18 20:47:56 1994:

the politically correct love poem

roses are red (however, this refers to their color, and is no means a racial
               epithet regarding persons of native american heritage)
violets are blue (although this does not imply an inferiority of non-blue
                  flowers)
do you love me? (although, if you do not, please feel free to say so, and do
                 not feel in any way compelled to answer 'yes')
'cause I love you (please, however, do not construe this as sexual harrassment
                   of any sort)



#20 of 53 by canis on Sat Jun 18 22:53:37 1994:

cool.


#21 of 53 by fuz on Sun Jun 19 17:53:11 1994:

but it doesn't rhyme...


#22 of 53 by kami on Sun Jun 19 18:16:23 1994:

ugh.


#23 of 53 by bjt on Mon Jun 5 01:02:01 1995:

I sit and ponder gazing at the screen,
wondering whythis *now* appears as unseen
when no new response
appears in the fonts.


#24 of 53 by janc on Mon Jun 5 17:16:08 1995:

links stinks


#25 of 53 by remmers on Tue Jun 6 15:39:49 1995:

        Not enough lines,
        Not enough lines;
        Not enough lines,
        Not enough lines.



#26 of 53 by alfee on Thu Jun 8 00:50:27 1995:

Not enough lines
still not enough
let's try agin
There, will this do?


#27 of 53 by remmers on Thu Jun 8 13:01:05 1995:

ad
mir
ab
ly!


#28 of 53 by lee on Thu May 22 19:10:45 1997:

maybe someone should link this to poetry :)


#29 of 53 by scott on Sat May 24 23:01:12 1997:

Ate a sandwich
then brushed my teeth.
Ate an apple
again brushed my teeth.


#30 of 53 by orinoco on Tue May 27 20:11:16 1997:

Never underestimate the artistic power of good dental hygeine


#31 of 53 by remmers on Wed May 28 02:09:52 1997:

        If this poem is bad
        The next may be worse
        Stop while you're ahead
        That's my adverse.



#32 of 53 by lee on Wed May 28 20:12:08 1997:

(reminds me of someone's last will and testament towards the
junior high school they attended for two years)

"The first year was bad, the second was worse,
so I can't bequeath anything in this simple verse"


#33 of 53 by carl on Fri May 30 19:46:52 1997:

        I have known all along
            that I'm not a poet.
        I need a word that rhymes,
            and hope I don't blow this darn verse trying to thing
            of something that would work.


#34 of 53 by jaklumen on Thu May 30 09:44:09 2002:

Don't blow, man.  Lick.


#35 of 53 by masodo on Sun Aug 4 05:07:27 2002:

there once was a limrick with four lines
which offered the humor of street signs
the punch line was history
and remains as a mystery

(i guess they really need five lines) . . . hmmm


#36 of 53 by cmcgee on Sun Aug 4 12:18:07 2002:

What a treat to have you on Grex, masodo. Welcome.


#37 of 53 by remmers on Sun Aug 4 20:37:30 2002:

Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc,
Or so the saying goes,
Some folks believe it for a fact,
The last line doesn't rhyme.


#38 of 53 by md on Mon Aug 5 13:05:59 2002:

How about:

Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc,
Or so the saying goes,
Some folks believe it for a fact,
But others say it blows.

Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc,
Or so the saying goes,
Some folks believe it for a fact,
Because of quid pro quos.

Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc,
Or so the saying goes,
Some folks believe it for a fact,
But only The Shadow knows.

Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc,
Or so the saying goes,
Some folks believe it for a fact,
As this rhyme plainly shows.


#39 of 53 by remmers on Mon Aug 5 17:39:34 2002:

Tarquin was a splendid king,
He built the Roman Forum,
Happenings there were quite the thing,
Though some folks did deplore 'em.


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