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Grex Cflirt Item 43: Fun With Pumpkins
Entered by penis on Mon Oct 7 13:31:41 UTC 2002:

This was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was "Best
Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white 
male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on 
Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, 
public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County 
(Atlanta area) courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he 
was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.

"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one
around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a
phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a
hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need.

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer 
Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.

"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you 
are screwing a pumpkin?' "

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then 
looked me straight in the face and said,

"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

13 responses total.

#1 of 13 by jmsaul on Mon Oct 7 15:43:48 2002:

Holy shit.  He should walk just for that line.

#2 of 13 by michaela on Mon Oct 7 20:57:07 2002:

If that's a true story, I commend that guy.  My god, that was way too funny...

#3 of 13 by senna on Tue Oct 8 00:39:26 2002:

I third resp:1

#4 of 13 by orinoco on Wed Oct 9 00:23:46 2002:

(Only.... wasn't it the _horses_ that used to be a pumpkin?  I'm thinking
that's still illegal.)

#5 of 13 by cyklone on Wed Oct 9 01:37:54 2002:

No. Carriage=pumpkin. Horses=mice.

#6 of 13 by senna on Wed Oct 9 02:11:41 2002:

I've heard all kinds of bestiality tales, but mice?  That's a toughie.

#7 of 13 by i on Wed Oct 9 03:38:15 2002:

The actual case in hand sounds more like vegiality than bestiality to me.
I suspect that anti-vegiality laws are fairly scarce.

#8 of 13 by jaklumen on Wed Oct 9 04:38:00 2002:

LOL

#9 of 13 by penis on Sun Oct 13 06:44:44 2002:

Yeah, but the pigs have gotta come up with something when they see a dude
getting it on with a vegetable. 

I wish I had a elephant trunk instead of a human nose.

#10 of 13 by void on Mon Oct 14 04:05:07 2002:

   that story is gaining urba legend status.  I first saw it reported
by a British source a year or two ago.

#11 of 13 by phenix on Mon Oct 14 04:30:01 2002:

it's a damned good line:)

#12 of 13 by orinoco on Mon Oct 14 15:45:50 2002:

Actually, I read that same story on anurban legend desk calendar at a friend's
house this past weekend.  It had come up a few weeks ago, and he'd saved the
page and hung it on his wall.

#13 of 13 by novomit on Tue Apr 29 14:21:46 2003:

Urban legend or not, it's still quite amusing.

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