What is the absoulute worst, cheapest, stupidest, most obscure movie you have
ever seen? I want to know.

        The worst movie I've ever seen was called "Monos the Hands of Fate". It
was a movie that was filmed in Tulsa, and it had the production values of a 
home movie. The plot (or what there was of it) was that a man named Monos had
a buch of wives. Then a family gets lost and is greeted at Monos's ranch home
By Monos's horribly stupid, gimp legged, fondling freak of a servant, Torgo.
The mother and daughter are taken to be wives (and the daughter is about 7) 
and the man is knocked out. Then, they plan a sacrafice of one of his wives,
sothey spend about a half an hour in this stupid cat fight with a bunch of
wierd music in the background, and in the end, the girl and daughter become his
 wives, and Torgo is sacraficed for fondling the wives.

Consequently, about 2 years after I saw it, it was shown on 'Mystery Science
Theater 3000' they did a great job with it.

291 responses total.

Reds rates right up there as one of the most tedious movies I've
ever forced myself to sit through.

   Most likely the worst movie *I* ever saw was something called
"Spires at the end of life", which was about the tips of buildings.
It was one of these artsy films, which pretended to use cinematic
effects to say something.  Just what that something was, was lost on
me and everyone else in the audience.  It was two hours of looking at
the tops of buildings, or fragments of them, intermixed with scenes
from a children's playground.  Picture the camera taking pictures of
the buildings being moved in a counter-clockwise circle.  Take
pictures of a playground in clockwise circles; and superimpose the
building shots as little diamonds, which themselves moved (ontop
of the playground image).
   The most unbelievable aspect of this film was its length.  I
would swear it was half a year long but I am assured that it was
actually less than two hours.
    There was thunderous applause at its conclusion.  We didn't
have to watch (and endure) any more.

The Master wants you, but he cannot have you...

As someone who has probably seen every bad Scifi/sf/horror/etc movie the
late-late-late-so-late-it's-next-week show has to offer, My vot is:
_The Creeping Terror_

A movie absolutely unique in it's badness. If you like really bad *cheap*
sf movies, rent this!

I've seen a lot of bad movies on tv at times when I was too tired to get
up and turn it off.  I have no idea which was the worst, but chances are I
probably slept through most of it.

Add _Hawk, The Slayer_ to that list.  Cheep scifi/fantasy flick.

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Ooh, popcorn!  _The_Manchurian_Candidate_ wasn't "random" or
"senseless", not by a long shot.  That's one of the scariest
films I've seen, and you're talking to someone who's read
Lovecraft before going to bed and had no trouble falling asleep.

 Rocky Horror Picture Show & The Cook, his Wifem the Thief & her Lover (or
whatever it is) are tied as the worst ones I've ever seen.

Wings ofver Berlin or somesuch ties with The Cook, The thief, et al in my
book.  I spent more time wondering about why my feet were sticking to the
floor then in watching the movies!

I have to agree with robh here Valerie, _The Manchurian Candidate_ may
not have been your cup of tea, but there is absolutely no way it belongs
on a list of worst films of all time. It was very well crafted and you
would see that there was nothing "random" about the viloence in the film,
if you'd seen the rest of it. Compared to alot of todays action films, it's
actually very tame in it's violence.

As for worst films: Add to the list the 2(3?) Hurcules films starring
Lou Ferigno, _Attack of the Bee Girls_, and most anything made by 
Irwin Allan.

I've been having trouble thinking of something to add to this item
because I agree with #0 that "Manos - the Hands of Fate" is just
about the worst ever.

"Creation of the Humanoids" gets at least an honorable mention,
though.  (Greg will disagree.)

Maybe there should be two categories: (1) bad movies made on a shoe
string budget by people nobody ever heard of and that nobody really
expected to be any good, and (2) expensive turkeys with a big name
case and crew that just turned out to be awful despite high hopes.
So that we don't compare apples and oranges.

"Manos" would be a type 1 bad movie.  From all reports, "Hudson Hawk"
(which I haven't seen) would be a prime type 2.

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How about a third category for movies with the greatest gap between
actual quality and their reputations with film buffs, cultists, and
culturato-wannabes?  I put "Casablanca" near the top of that list.

Oh, and "It's a Wonderful Life," all discussion of which should
be conducted in the Vomit cf.

No, you're all wrong.  The single worst movie is "Drop Dead Fred".  The
only movie that comes close is "Hardware".  I've seen *thousands* of movies
and none come close.

2001 a Space Oddessy is a type 3
Koyanisqatsi (sp?) is great, but should be taken in small doses

2001? Philistine.

As for category 3: The quintesesntial category 3 movie has to be _The
Rocky Horror Picture Show_. If it hadn't somehow adopted this late night
performace art reputation, it would have died without a trace and only
rarely have showed up on the late-latte-late-etc show.

I rather liked The Cook..., in a weird sort of way.
Koyanisquatsi is one of the few "see whenever possible" movies on my list- 
mostly for the flying effects.
Rocky Horror HAS to be seen with a good audience.  The movie itself is not 
much to write home about- it's the shtick that counts.

I rather liked "Flesh Gordon" for a funny bad movie.

But Rocky Horror was bound to become a cult classic!  Any movie so deliberately
campy and sleazy would...

I enjoy cheap, bad films when they're so bad they're funny.  Take, for
instance, a John Waters film like Pink Flamingos.  This film was obviously
meant to be very bad and insulting, which somehow made it funny.  And then
there are films like Plan 9, which is supposed to be taken seriously yet
is so bad it's funny.

Then there are incredibly bad and insulting flicks that somehow don't come
across as amusing at all, and aren't even fun to make fun of.  I saw this
one film (can't remember the name) starring Joe Piscipo and Treat Williams.
It had some lame plot about a machine that reanimates dead animals and
people.  This film so offended my intelligence that I wasn't the least bit
amused.  The only movie in my life I walked out on.  I'd rather have
toothpicks driven under my nails than see even a minute of this film again.

he Piscipo film was called Dead Heat if I remember correctly...
Have to agree with the above bit about RHPOS (Rocky Horror). The movie
SUCKS, but it's the people that make it fun!!
How about a type 4 movie, worst sequal film...
my vote is for Caddyshack 2. Dan Akroyd absolutly abases himself
trying to do a third-rate Bill Murray.  And there isn't a shred of
origionallity in the entire movie!  Close second is Meatballs 2!

Listen. I don't care how long it is, any movie by Stanley Kubrick is a classic
in my eyes. Whoever said '2001' should be put in a dark room with 'monos for a
few days.

I've never actually seen it, but I'm told that "Highlander II" beats all
other bad movies for sheer awfulness and pointlessness.  Steve Arlow
said that NO ONE should see "Highlander II" unless they're the kind of
person to see "Plan Nine From Outer Space" MORE THAN ONCE.

Re 10.  I strongly disagree.  "Wings of Desire" (a/k/a "Der Himmel
Ueber Berlin") is one of my all-time favorite movies.

Re 14.  I like "Casablanca", too.

Re 15.  I know this is a strange thing for an American of my age
to say.  But I have never seen "It's A Wonderful Life."

Make that two, polygon.  I've somehow maganed to avoid that movie
for 25 Christmases.

I'll definitely second "Highlander II."  Makes "Manos" look good.

Re#23, I would say that Highlander III was worse then both of them.  But
of course that isn't a sequal, oh well.

   THis is turning into the religous-wars-cum-movies item.  But
what could one expect?
    Has anyone else seen the asian movie that became "Whats up
Tiger Lilly"?  I saw that with the original dubing, and that was
awful.

Re #23:  I have seen "Plan Nine from Outer Space" MORE THAN ONCE,
and will probably see it again some day.  Its multifaceted
badness puts it in a class by itself, a wonder to behold.

Just to needle Delizia, I'll state that I like "Casablanca", though
I wouldn't quite accord it the classic status everybody else seems
to.  "It's a Wonderful Life" is a favorite of mine.  My nominee
for the quintessential type 3 movie would be "Ben Hur" (1959
Charlton Heston version).  What a tasteless, overblown turkey.
But it won all those awards...

What's up tiger lilly was a Woody Allen movie wasn't it??
I think that we need to forward this conference to the people at MST3K!
Wouldn't you just LOVE to see "It's a wonderful life" skewered by Mike
and the 'bots??

 ALL RIGHT!!! I've been waiting for this... Remmers, you are obviously
missing something in "Ben Hur". It is the crusifixtion told through
the eyes of one Jew, Judah Ben-Hur. I see it as a unique perspective
into life at that time and period through the eyes of a common man. 
The Bible does not make mention of him, but nor does it mention the 
countless thousands (millions) who were affected by the influence of the
Roman empire.  I will cede to you that it is overlong, and some of
the scenes are well, fake (you can see the cardboard sky in the raft
scene. Look at it some time). But look at the over all picture of this
and remember that Lew Wallace wrote the book to re-affirm his belief
in Jesus.

  It's a wonderful life is not bad, but....

  Any "Airport" movie is bad in my book. 

One of my favorite specific pieces of badness is from "Fiend Without 
a Face".  Monsters are sucking power rom a nuclear reactor, so they 
decide to shut down.  But when the go to the stock room to get control 
rods to shut down the reactor with, they find the monsters have destroyed
them all.  And by the time they can have more control rods flown in it
will be Too Late.  So how do you shut down a reactor when you have no
control rods to put in it?  You dynamite the control room! 

(By the way, this is the one with the brain-and-spine thingies that
start out invisible and suck people's brains out.) 

If a movie qualified as per the header, I forgot the title so fast ....
  

That might seem like an opening for seeing it again, but no, the
mention of the title would trigger a revulsion-response, fortunately
without flashbacks. 
 
As a kid, Wuthering Heights (both the movie and the book) generated
taht response, however, I got better with age (well, not the book yet).

"Fiend Without a Face" is beyond criticism because of the excellent monsters.

The only movie I've ever walked out on was Monty Python's "Jabberwocky."

The only movie I've ever walked out on was "West Side Story".

Why does it seem that most of the really baddies are Horror/SF-related?  ;-)

In this category, I'd nominate "Dracula vs. Frankenstein" as a bottom-10er.
Just horrible; Lon Chaney was in it in a "master's assistant" role, and I
couldn't understand why he would appear in such a woofer...

"Dark Star" was pretty bad, but somehow was accorded cult status accordingly.
The image of the guy surfing in space toward the planet was pretty neat! :-)

A classic category 2, from all the reports - I've never seen it - would be
"Ishtar".  Verification?

Gads, I forgot about _HighLander II_. Yes, that is the worst sequal
ever made, and one of the worst movies. I doubt that the producers, 
director, writers of HII ever even bothered to *watch* the first movie.

I wonder why most of the bad movies are sci-fi...

 Home Alone II ... I walked out on that on And after I spent a whole
buck and a half on it too. ;)

Re 33 - Now now, put blame where blame is due.  "Jabberwocky"
wasn't a Python film, it just had a couple of Python people
involved.  "A Fish Called Wanda" wasn't a Python film, either,
though it starred Cleese and Palin.

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