I've found myself watching more late-night TV lately (probably because
I'm not spending as much on new CDs, but that's beside the point) and though
I'm usually not actively "watching" since I'm usually computing while the
TV's on, nevertheless, I've become sensitized to some of the more loathsome
commercials that come on.  
 
  It occurs to me, therefore, that this must happen to most people.  That
for any given person there's some commercial or commercials that really
get your goat.  I'm sure it varies somewhat from person to person but there
are also probably some commercials bad enough to make everyone's list.  So,
what's your least favorite (current) TV commercial?

51 responses total.

  The ones that currently bother me more than any others are the 
Fretter/Highland/ABC Warehouse advertising-war commercials where
they all claim to be cheaper than all of the other stores, even the
stores with price guarantees.  C'mon, can't someone with some basic
logic skills get through to Ollie to show him why it's not "always
better to shop at Fretter"?  (Actually, in the most recent Fretter
commercials they seem to have reached this conclusion but tell you
that even though ABC Warehouse or Highland will beat their prices,
you should still come in and buy from Fretter since the other stores
sometimes have higher prices posted.  Doesn't make sense to me, 
unless they're just claiming that you should come in and check
prices and then buy somewhere else, which seems somewhat less than
optimal from their standpoint.)

  Also, I see Mr. Belvedere's back on late night TV.  I thought that
since "Bill Kennedy at the Movies" hasn't been on in years and I don't
even get WOTV I was never again going to hear Belvedere's whiny voice 
peddling aluminum siding and proclaiming "We do good work."  Maybe I 
was right, but it's small comfort since he's back, and this time he's
singing to himself..  "P-O-R-C-H-E-S, how am I going to tell people 
about my beautiful porches?"  Arrrrgghhhh..  I miss the quality local
commercials, like "Me and the Dog want you to go to Tel-E-Graph Road,
Riiight Nooow!  Get a good deal!"  Sigh..

I'm pretty horrified by the proliferation of commercials for 900 numbers.
Especially the weird sex 900 numbers.  Then there's the 900 psychic
advice line, the 900 ask a lawyer line, the 900 wacky crazy people just
talking line, etc., etc.  Yikes!

  My favorite 900 lines are the ones that are obviously meant for children
(like "Santa's Story Line" or "Teenage Mutant Ninja Ripoff Line")  Kids,
be SURE to get your parents' permission..  Yeah, right..

  Favorite 900-type scam:  according to 2600 magazine, someone in New York
set up a 540 number (local equivalent of a 976 number..  like a 900 line)
and then figured out an exchange that was all (or mostly) pager numbers.
They proceeded to call numbers on this exchange and leave the 540 line as
the number to return the call to.  When the hapless people returned the 
pages they got billed $55.  The police have apparently arrested the man who
rents the number, but as the magazine points out what did he do that was
illegal?  The real rip-off is that the phone company is only too happy to
set up numbers like this.

You read 2600 Magazine?  I used to be a subscriber, and I want to be again.
How much does it cost these days?

Sheesh.  Just try watching "Love Connection" or (worse yet) "Studs" and
check out all the 900 commercials there.  My fav. is for the Penthouse line
which costs "$2.69" a minute.  Gotta love it.

Yeah, those 900 SEX numbers are pretty bad.  I was watching USA up all night
once, and kept a little notebook of the different numbers and 'features' of
the commercials to see if there were any reapeats.   in 4 or 5 hours, there
were only 2 or 3 repeats, and just about all of the commercial breaks consisted
of at least 2 900 number (mostly sex) advertisements.   
The other commercials that I really can't stand are all of those beer 
commercials, especially during Saturday Night Live.  THOSE repeat!  We've seen
the same commercial at least 4 times (and the same set of commercials about
that much) during just one show of SNL.  So, I find the beer commercials
far more annoying...   Midafternoons are good for the lawyer and CDI-type
education commercials.  
So, I think what annoys me the most is seeing the same commercial again and
again.  

 re #4:  I can't remember what it costs these days, somewhere around $3, 
         I think.  I pick it up at Commie Newscenter.  Call me paranoid
         but I'd rather not be on their subscriber list, just in case..

I hate that Lanacane commercial they always show during the evening news.
("Present arms!") They're hideous! I refuse to by that product just because
of that commercial.

i hate the suzanne sommers 'thighmaster' commercial.
i also hate 2 sanitary napkin commercials. (i never pay attention to
the brand, because of the commercials)
one is an animated period just bouncing around on the screen. the
other commercial says something like:
"i hate it when my pad feels-pardon my bluntness- WET!"

My favorite stupid commercial of late is the one with the mother and
daughterr out for a pleasant day in the sailboat.  Sunny, clouds, all
alone... perfect setting for a really meaningful conversation about
sex or life or "mom, was I really you lovechild from Elvis?" or
something.  So what do these Bozos talk about?!?
        "Mom, can I ask you something personal?"
        "Sure honey."
        "Do you (pause) Douche?"

ACK!  BLEAH!  Personally I suppose I might have asked my mom that once
but really I can think of better things to discuss.

An animated PERIOD?!?!? YUCK!!!!!!! :P
(fitting for a "pad" commercial, but still!)

Or the other douche commercial (for "Summer's Eve") that pretty much outright
tells you that if you want to change the weather from rainy to sunny and
'fresh', all you have to do is use their product.  Some friends of mine and
I joke about it:  Bad weather?  No worries.  Just use Summer's Eve, and you'll
have sunny skies every day!

My friends and I are prepared to make a "Jock Itch" ad, in the hopes that it
will make the women as sick as all the feminine hygene ads make the men in
the audience. <sic>

 "Hey guys, ever get that horrid, itchy rash on your balls, and be forced
  to scratch yourself right in the middle of asking your boss for a raise?
  Well, never again! Here's new scrot-aid, the anti-itch medicine for your
  sensitive testicles.  Remove the worry of itching in public ever again!"

;)

  Dave Barry had a pretty good column recently where he made fun of the 
Bufferin ads..  "Now you can ask Angela Lansbury your questions about 
Bufferin.."  Yeah, like most consumers really want to know what Angela
Lansbury thinks about headache cures.  Wouldn't you rather they had a 
doctor answering the questions?  Dave claims that advertisements like that
one are directed at the Consumers from Mars.

Well, you're too late, as far as the jock Itch ads go. They talk about itching 
in the crotch, and all sorts of fun stuff.
Don't remember who made the ads. Tinactin? Or is that some totally unrelated 
product?
"sometimes my crotch just burns and itches"

RE: #14
But the scary thing is that if the commercials weren't having any effect,
they would probably pull them.  
 
Griz

Re 12.  I used to know a woman who could control the weather (a very useful
person to have around!).  I wondered how she did it ... must've been Summer's
Eve, huh?

one thing that i noticed about the sailboat/douche commercial..
the mother and daughter dont LOOK at each other. they sit at sort
of an angle and look past each other.

another thing that bugs me is shampoo or soap commercials.
two people are talking, and one asks the other a question. the
next shot is the person all sudsed up in the shower, answering
a question. then the next shot has the two talking, fully dressed,
picking up the conversation at the exact moment it had been in the shower.
what? you mean real people dont do this?

Re: #17
Why don't you ask her?  If she blushes, it's Summer's Eve for sure.  ;)
 

"they changed the flex formula, bad idea.
then, they changed it back to the way it used to be. now it
is better than ever!"

if it was changed back, why would it be better than ever? wouldnt it
just be back the way it used to be?

Those hemmoriod ads are pretty obnoxious too.  Or how about the one
where the two women are at an office scoping out the new guy.
        "Hey! He's kind of cute!"
`       "Yeah. Too bad he has dandruff."
        "Oh. I didn't notice that. Well forget it!  I don't care if he is
a nobel prize winning physicist who writes novels and volunteers
for Amnesty International in his spare time and has a patent on a cure
for cancer. heck if he has dandruff I don't want him.  Ick."

sheesh.

How about the ads for "New Kotex extra light.  For when you REALLY
aren't having your period!"  (to paraphrase Elaine Boozler>

For when you're NOT having your period?  Eh?  I guess I missed the point.
 
Griz

Re 19.  Last I heard, she moved to Thailand to work with refugees.

  Another commercial I can't figure out (well, I suppose I can, but I don't
like what I arrive at) is the car add that uses "Pretty Woman" as musical
accompaniment to the pictures of women running along the beach or walking
down the street.  Nowhere in the commercial do they tout the values of the
car (the fact that I can't even remember what sort of car it's supposed to
be selling indicates to me that the ad is somewhat less than successful.)

This response has been erased.

(that's "drink Bud Dry", it rhymes...)
I love those commercials. 
Don't ask questions, just get drunk.
Good plan.

The moment one of those "Dancin' In the Street" car commercials comes on,
I zap the remote to another channel -- usually just in time to catch the
same miserable commercial somewhere else.

re#25:  The situation can be even worse in technical magazines.  Some
companies delegate the advertising decisions to agencies, who know
nothing about the products of the company nor the right magazines to
advertise in.  Makes me wonder how people get into marketing
positions.

Undoubtedly - aside from sponsorship pulling - the lowest blow the ad
industry has come up with are the teasers for "Mama's Family" on 50. Enough
to make one swear off television forever.

 Mama's Family?  You mean it's not gone forever?  Auuuuuuggghggghhhhh!!
And to think they cancelled Twin Peaks!

  Any Taco Bell commercial. Do they always have to be so irritating?
The Cindy Crawford pepsi commercial where these two 120 yr old women
ask each other why it is they never see any movie stars (cut to Cindy)
in obligatory ball cap and lumberjack shirt and shades walking down the
street, and is handed a Pepsi just after she goes into her trailer. A
second later, out comes Cindy in a nice dress and hair done and all, 
drinking her pepsi (as if this is what you need to be beautiful).
a total turnoff.

   and then there is the Hanes Ads showing people in various degrees
of undress wearing nothing but their underwear. Do we really need to
see Michael Jprdan in his undies???

 I'm really sick of the new Society Bank commercial.  They start
out really neat, with the guys in business suits rafting on white
water, then they stop the tape and tell you what the commercial 
is *really* about.  I just wanted to keep watching the guys doing
the rafting...

  
  I've really grown a distate for the Cardizem CD commercial.  Comon, the guy
walks up to the counter and says: "I-need-a-re-fill-for-my-Car-di-zem" as if he
really was only some physical manifestation of a synthesized voice.  Besides,
they didn't quite get it right when they did the dubbing.  
  Why is it always on in the morning when I get up for work!?

The woman who plays the pharmacist in that Cardizem
commercial used to play the neighbor across the hall from
Molly Dodd.

    So, are there any other new, disgusting ads???

inquiring minds need to know.

Any commercial with Jay "The Juiceman" Kordich.  All of these ads (usually info
mercails) are throughly indigestable

I despide commercials about cleaning solutions. These being Pine Sol,
Mr. Clean, etc. So Pine Sol has a fresh pine sent...so the hell what?
If I want to clean my kithcen floor, I'll just go out and get something
that will make the floor look like new, not one that makes my kitchen 
smell like a forrest.

'nuff said

Personally i think one version of hell would be to watch all the Mentos
ads back to back for eternity.

"One of the most annoying commercial, that is still running on the television,
is the one about the Turbo Libro pampers! The voice dub is terrible and the 
lines are gruesome!: Are you just having a great time? Suddenly you have to
pee! HEAVY (aaaarggghhh!!!) But with this new Turbo Libro: No Problem! Yahoo!
<kid makes a somersault backflip> Tadaah! <kid sits on his mothers lap> So,
and now I am going to pee in mama's lap! And what do you think!: Nothing wet!
HEAVY! (aaaarrrggghhh!!!)
I hope it will never appear again on TV or on the Radio! I hate that kid!

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss