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Author Message
25 new of 357 responses total.
willcome
response 96 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 21:49 UTC 2004

jp2's and jep's spat is   

SAD
cyklone
response 97 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 21:55 UTC 2004

All actions have consequences. Some are unintended. Some are undesirable.
other
response 98 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 21:59 UTC 2004

Some are tasty.
gull
response 99 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 22:51 UTC 2004

Re resp:95: When you deliberately get a staff member to do something
that most other staff members feel is a violation of policy, I think you
can expect it to be controversial.
jmsaul
response 100 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 23:08 UTC 2004

John -- if you had followed Jan's advice and had the items temporarily removed
pending a membership vote, rather than taking his out-of-control wife's help
and getting them summarily deleted, you'd have a lot more friends on this
issue.
naftee
response 101 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 23:31 UTC 2004

re 95 They didn't start as "attacks".  They migrated.
jep
response 102 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 23:46 UTC 2004

re resp:100: No one suggested to me that the items be temporarily 
removed pending a member vote, until the items were already removed.  
*No one* spoke to me at *any* point, other than Valerie, until *after* 
the items were removed.

The Board and staff were carrying on a discussion about my request, in 
which I was not included, and about which I was not even informed for a 
day after I sent my request.  I heard about that from Valerie as well.

Can you go over again what it was I was supposed to do in order to 
retain goodwill among both the staff and membership?

I deny that I went outside of any reasonable expectation anyone could 
have of "the system".  My initial e-mail went to staff@grex.org.  So 
did my next message (after I had received not a *peep* by way of 
response, from *anyone*).  I worked within the system to the very best 
of my ability.  I'm doing so now.
jep
response 103 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 23:57 UTC 2004

Whups, one baff member had sent me a personal message, discussing 
personal matters related to my request but with no policy discussion of 
any kind, before the items were deleted.
gull
response 104 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 12 23:59 UTC 2004

You admitted in earlier responses that when you saw what valerie had
done, and that she was leaving, you realized you had a limited window in
which to get your items removed.  To me it sounds like you knew you were
taking advantage of a questionable loophole.
jep
response 105 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 00:14 UTC 2004

View hidden response.

jep
response 106 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 00:22 UTC 2004

My response resp:76 contains all of the e-mails between myself and 
staff members, discussing the deletion of my items, including all 
headers.  I sent the first one from Grex and then the rest from my 
account on M-Net.  My Grex e-mail is forwarded to M-Net.  Most of the e-
mails were included to either baff or staff

I have omitted the personal message I mentioned as it is of no value in 
this discussion.

All of my contact with the staff of Grex on the matter is included, in 
both directions.  I excluded a couple of lines of comments which would 
not affect this discussion.

An explanation of Valerie's suggestion that I just mass-delete my own 
responses... she sent it to me at 10:00 p.m.  Uncharacteristically for 
me, I had logged off for the night and gone to bed early.  I never got 
to respond to her suggestion before she deleted my items.
jep
response 107 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 00:24 UTC 2004

Whups, the e-mail thread is in my response resp:105, which was posted 
from Backtalk as a "hidden" response.  It's a bit lengthy., which is 
why I posted it as hidden.
willcome
response 108 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 00:25 UTC 2004

Expurgated.
jep
response 109 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 00:56 UTC 2004

To read from Picospan:

1) Get to the "Respond or pass?" prompt
2) Type "set noforget"
3) Type "only 105"
jmsaul
response 110 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 01:15 UTC 2004

Re #102:  If you want goodwill from those of us who think this was wrong,
          allow staff to restore your items, minus your responses.
cyklone
response 111 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 01:22 UTC 2004

What Joe said. That or get a legal opinion.
slynne
response 112 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 01:47 UTC 2004

jep, I think if the items were restored minus your responses and minus 
the responses of anyone else willing to have them removed (which I 
suspect would be most of the participants), you would find that the 
remaining posts would be so far out of context that they would be 
almost meaningless. You could also retire the items at that point which 
puts the liklihood that someone will accidently stumble on them at 
nearly zero. 
naftee
response 113 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 01:56 UTC 2004

jep, seeing as those items were in old agora conferences (as opposed 
to Valerie's, which was in the femme cf) I think they'd be a lot 
harder to find from the average user than Valerie's baby diary items.  
For instance, a user could easily stumble across the femme cf and 
browse the items, but wouldn't necessarily go looking under cobwebs to 
find obscure items such as the ones you deleted.  Ergo, you seem to 
have been a little overly paranoid.
jep
response 114 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 02:28 UTC 2004

re resp:110: Joe, I don't care to buy Grex's affection, not at that 
price.  If you have to have me act against myself so you can get your 
way, in order for you to feel good about me, then you'll have to feel 
bad about me.  Second, if the items are restored, there'll be a loss 
of goodwill from me toward Grex and toward those whom I believe have 
voted to put them back on-line.

re resp:111: There is no reason to involve a lawyer.  None.  And 
neither you nor I can afford the bill in any case.

re resp:112: I don't see a mechanism for doing it.  I don't see how it 
gets done without the items being public, meaning the responses will 
never really be deleted.  They'll be re-posted by someone.  Look 
through this item and the other ones and tell me I'm wrong about that.

If my proposal fails, then if it appears likely the items will be put 
back on-line, I will press at that time for people to authorize their 
responses be removed first.  

The items are deleted now.  That's a good thing.  It doesn't hurt 
anyone.  *No one had visited those items in a year*.  Maybe no one 
ever would have.  I don't know that, but I know they'd be visited now, 
as the only items ever deleted and then brought back; as objects of 
curiosity; in order to make attacks against me by people who can't 
stand me because I asked for them to be deleted.

Putting them on-line now is not undoing an action.  It's taking a new 
action which is very hostile toward me.  It would be an attack.  The 
items are causing no harm at all now.  The only way they won't cause 
further harm is if they're left alone, just as they are.  They're 
gone.  Leave them alone.

re resp:113: Uh huh.  Every Grexer will know how to get them.
jaklumen
response 115 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 03:19 UTC 2004

"Every Grexer will know how to get them."

re resp:113 It's a possibility... yes.  I think that it would be 
rather sad and pathetic if someone did choose to go searching for the 
items just to repost them as you said.  Time could be spent better 
elsewhere, in my opinion.  I know there is no guarantee that it can't 
happen.  I would believe it would be remote, although in the heat of 
all this debate it seems more likely in your eyes.

I perceive you are only trying to defend and preserve the sanity and 
well-being of yourself and your family.  But as best as I can tell, 
you went about it in ways that are viewed as unethical by much of this 
community.  Unfortunately, one of the parties involved also did 
something that much of this community considers unethical as well.  
Would that your controversies could be separate-- but I don't see that 
happening with the way things are going.

I don't know.  I've seen a lot of emotions and opinions sloshed 
around.  What is ultimately decided will redefine Grex in years to 
come, I'm sure.  I will say it until I'm blue in the face... a lot of 
this does say that folks need to very carefully consider what they put 
out on the Net... not all places are secure and not all places let you 
retract your information so easily.  Especially if you consider that 
others might have it stashed somewhere.  I'm sure people will still be 
set in their opinions for quite some time... good luck whatever 
happens.
gull
response 116 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 03:40 UTC 2004

Re resp:115: "I think that it would be rather sad and pathetic if 
someone did choose to go searching for the items just to repost them as 
you said."

If you've been around here for long, you know there are some sad and 
pathetic people here.  Or at least ones that like to make trouble and 
hurt other people.

"What is ultimately decided will redefine Grex in years to come, I'm 
sure."

No, I don't think so.  What happens to jep's items is a minor issue to 
Grex at this point and will be pretty quickly forgotten.  I think 
there's an astounding lack of perspective about that.

What's decided as far as Grex's policy towards future deletion requests 
is what may or may not redefine Grex.
jaklumen
response 117 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 04:15 UTC 2004

yep, sad and pathetic people.  'twas my point but you know.

"What's decided as far as Grex's policy towards future deletion 
requests is what may or may not redefine Grex."  That is what I meant--
 sorry if that was unclear.  I had thought that was apparent.
naftee
response 118 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 04:33 UTC 2004

Wait, I thought he was primarily worried about his wife finding them...

How versed is his wife in the workings of GreXs conferencing system/UNIX?
cyklone
response 119 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 04:35 UTC 2004

It was clear to me. Grex has at least three separate things to decide.
Actually four if you want to get into the issue of how to police staff and
users who abuse the system.

Jep says " And neither you nor I can afford the bill in any case"
referring to the cost of an attorney to vet his items with his posts
reviewed. He also says there is no need for a lawyer which leads me to
believe all the breast-beating about liabilities is a red herring. I'm
guessing it's something as simple as jep realizing he wasn't comfortable
letting his son get a grex account under the old status quo. That's the
only explanation that even remotely explains his paranoia if he is to be
beleived this isn't about custody concerns.

In any case, Grex has paid a very dear cost regardles of jep's real
reasons and regardless of whether or not he shares his real reasons for
what he did. Given the cost to Grex, though, I think it is highly
appropriate that jep pay a cost as well. If he dontates something like
$500 to Grex I would accept that as his apology and compensation for the
harm he caused. And of course that would in no way be a precedent to allow
future item deletions.
cyklone
response 120 of 357: Mark Unseen   Jan 13 04:35 UTC 2004

<naftee snuck>
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