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Author Message
25 new of 155 responses total.
slynne
response 50 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 15:48 UTC 2004

Personally, I find it hard to understand how a person can make 
something like a bbs so important to themselves that when things like 
this happen, it makes them actually physically ill. And I say this as 
someone for whom online conferencing is very important. Sure there are 
people on Mnet and Grex who can upset me that much but they are all 
people I have real life relationships with. 

I worry about some of the people who are getting very upset about all 
of this. I wish there was something I could do to make everyone happy. 
You know, some kind of win-win solution. I *really* wish jep and 
valerie would have considered having the items restored with all of 
their posts removed as well as all the posts of people who would 
obviously have been very willing to give their permission. 

I think it is fair to acknowledge that some people are upset because 
their words have been deleted without their permission. It is fair to 
acknowledge that the sore loser game playing behavior of some of those 
people is upsetting other folks around here. 

But maybe the first thing we can do is stop all these "mnetters" 
and "grexers" remarks. It seems like when someone calls someone on Grex 
an "mnetter" it is meant as some kind of insult but also meant to 
illustrate that those people are outsiders and not very welcome here. 
Ditto for when people on Mnet start using "grexers" a lot. 
jp2
response 51 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 16:40 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

scott
response 52 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 17:54 UTC 2004

Re 50:  Lynne, it's not the bbs.  Repeat:  It's NOT the bbs.  It's the other
people on the bbs that get some folks worked up and even ill.  Imagine that
about half the people you talked to on the phone were that rude.  Would you
just say "oh, it's just the phone, it's not reality"?  How about face-to-face?

What seems to be the big difference is that some of us view online
communication to be just as real as the telephone, which is just as real as
face-to-face.  That you don't see it as real, to me, indicates that you are
the one with some social shortcomings.
slynne
response 53 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 18:30 UTC 2004

Haha. Scott, I work in tech support, half the people I talk to *are* 
that rude and I find myself thinking, "well, it's just the phone, not 
reality...they cant hit me, stab me, burn me with cigarettes, feed my 
dog klonopin or throw poop at me" *all* the time. Maybe working at ASH 
has just given me a different perspective. 
gull
response 54 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 18:37 UTC 2004

I think slynne is missing the fact that to some people here, there are
real friends of theirs that are involved, maybe even people they see in
person on a regular basis.  Not everyone here thinks of other BBS'ers as
just text on the screen with no real person behind it.  Saying "it's
just a BBS, it shouldn't be that important to them" shortchanges the
real friendships and real people that are involved.

I really do think that this is a cultural difference between Grex and
M-Net, and what we're seeing now may be a wrenching change where Grex's
culture is going to be forced to become more impersonal, like M-Net's.
tod
response 55 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 18:38 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

tod
response 56 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 18:39 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

slynne
response 57 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 18:46 UTC 2004

I get it that real people are involved here. Honestly, if someone I 
knew in real life who I cared about were treating me like shit either 
here or anyplace else, it would upset me. But I dont get upset about 
people I dont know especially when it is online because I know that a 
person cant leap through their computer and harm me physically. And no 
one can harm me emotionally unless I let them. 
tod
response 58 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 18:51 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

iggy
response 59 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 19:25 UTC 2004

*makes boogie-boogie taunting face at slynne*

Have I ruined your day yet?
scott
response 60 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 20:10 UTC 2004

Lynne, when you get rude tech support calls are you allowed to be as rude in
return?
albaugh
response 61 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 20:29 UTC 2004

I guess I don't think there is anything that could - or should - be done 
to / with grex that would retain the people who say they are leaving due to
the item killing kaper and its aftermath.
slynne
response 62 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 20:39 UTC 2004

resp:60 - nope. And as it turns out, since they dont bother me, I find 
it very easy to be pleasant. I am also very very good at directing 
conversations in the way I want them to go. In my case at work, I can 
have people laughing by the end of the call. 

But, I have to admit that the main reason I am not rude back to those 
people is because my employer wouldnt like it and my employer *pays* 
me. 

resp:61 - I have to disagree. While I dont know who is leaving, I'll 
bet it is some of our more interesting people. 

Just so you all know, I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting 
an online community filled mostly with people who kind of know you and 
who are willing to be there to support you. I also understand that 
people want an open community where folks can wander in and be made to 
feel welcome. The problem though, is that if you have an open system, 
folks you might not want to feel welcome will come in too. 

If that part of it really bothers people, they very well may want to 
leave. I like the open system feel of this place, personally. I also 
like the sense of community. In fact, it means so much to me that I am 
not willing to leave here right now because doing so would just harm 
the community. 

I hope that anyone else who values that sense of community tries to 
stick it out with me. Ignore the folks who bother you. Use a twit 
filter if you must. But please please keep contributing here because 
*being here* is more important than even sending in money. (although 
naturally, I hope people will continue to be willing to do that too) 
albaugh
response 63 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 20:44 UTC 2004

Disagree, then.  Just what *is* it you think could / should be done to / with
grex to retain / bring back those people?  Kick out all the "trouble makers".
Issue rose colored glasses?
slynne
response 64 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 20:50 UTC 2004

I dont know. I would kind of like people to learn how to 
ignore "trouble makers". I would like people to realize that *they* are 
valuable to grex. Not because of any potential money they might send it 
either. Because each person here contributes something to someone. I 
would like to convince people to ignore the people whom they dont think 
contribute and focus on everyone else. I admit too that this is all a 
totally selfish desire of mine. I want people to stay because it makes 
my grex experience better. 
scott
response 65 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 20:53 UTC 2004

Re 62:  I'd suggest that you've gotten used to an unnatural and unhealthy type
of social interaction. :(
tod
response 66 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 21:27 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

slynne
response 67 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 21:28 UTC 2004

resp:65 Yes! That is just it. I have learned how to deal with unhealthy 
types of social interaction. It's a skill. And one I happen to like 
because it allows me to take more social risks than I might otherwise. 

I have my safe places where all the social interaction is safe and 
healthy and wonderful and all of that. I see grex as being more public 
than that. I share a lot here but I dont share everything because this 
is a place where jerks can come in. HOwever, I have met some of my 
closest friends online. People with whom I can have safe private 
conversations with. People I can share my deepest secrets and pain 
with. People I wouldnt have in my life if m-net/grex were closed 
systems. Those people are so important to me that I think it is worth 
ignoring a few jerks sometimes in order to keep the system open so some 
other really great person can come strolling into my life. 

You cant have the safe and secure utopia community *and* have an open 
system. You can have a pretty darn good community though. This is 
especially so if people are committed to it. This is what grex has 
right now and hopefully will continue to have. 
tod
response 68 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 21:40 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

slynne
response 69 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 21:59 UTC 2004

I dont like the idea of other people's words having been deleted 
without their permission. However, I dont see it happening again in the 
near future and frankly, I dont think anyone's words that were deleted 
are anything I will miss. 
tod
response 70 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 22:11 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

iggy
response 71 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 22:37 UTC 2004

the notion of "kicking out the trouble makers" is pretty risky because
just whose definition do you use? Who would speak for all of grex and
be the one to point fingers?  Before you know it, someone will
be pointing at YOU.
naftee
response 72 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 23:08 UTC 2004

Hey, the GreX public did a pretty god job of kicking out two troublemakers:
jep and valerie.
tod
response 73 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 13 00:33 UTC 2004

This response has been erased.

naftee
response 74 of 155: Mark Unseen   Feb 13 01:08 UTC 2004

Gawd; better call in some more m-netters to fill in the empty seats!
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